Am I over reacting

[BabaYagasLittleSister]

Was going to post in aibu but don't think I can take the ripping so please be kind to me because actually I'm very worried.

My son is 5 and whenever he gets a cough he has this terrible wheeze and breathes faster, he's been to a&e so many times over the years for having ribs sucking in etc. Had bronchiolitis as a baby.

He has one of these terrible coughs at the moment, and just can't seem to get any peace since I put him to bed. Been sick twice already from coughing so much.

I'm worried about his breathing, but husband still went out with his friend as planned tonight. Friend that drinks from 6pm - 2am. After son was sick for the second time I asked husband to come home and help me. He has just pretty much refused, as son hasn't got a temperature. I am really angry at husband.
Am I being unreasonable? I want support, I want him to have a clear head and be able to watch DD if I do have to take son to a&e.

I just feel like husband cares more about drinking with friend than he does his family. He's a shit dad most of the time too tbh. I just think what is the point in this when I am pretty much parenting alone anyway.

I think you have answered your own question.

This situation isn't the issue, you feel all alone and he doesn't help.

What is stopping you from leaving?

I'm sorry you're managing this alone. Your DH should definitely have come home, even if only to support you, never mind to see his sick child, and possibly to look after his other child in the event of things worsening.
On a practical note, try steam for your little one. If he's old enough to sit over a bowl of steamy water with a towel over, then that, otherwise a steamy bathroom.

I put on a humidifier in his room but it doesn't seem to make any difference.

To answer other questions, I don't make anywhere near as much as he does. He makes over 3 times what I do. And although we are married, it's his house. I don't think I would be able to afford somewhere as nice for my children.

My son had the exact same issues, hasn't got asthma but is prescribed inhalers for when he needs them. Sounds like your son would benefit from an inhaler too

Isn't it more important that your kids grow up in a healthy home? Would you want your daughter to find a man like your DH?

I get it I'm a single mom. My ds and I live in a 2 bedroom condo instead of our old bigger home, but we are happier now. Money doesn't equal happiness.

Be careful baby is being sick if lying on back- avoid choking hazard!! Also not great they coughing so much they are actually vomiting- have they seen a doctor during this episode? Does baby have current medication for this? I’d call out of hours GP or yep A&E… always err on the side of caution with a baby, especially when breathing concerned.

As for your waste of space husband he is not parenting here at all, rather acting like a single bloke without children. Fucking disgrace even if baby was not unwell he should be with you if you are concerned , to support you. YANBU. Tell him to get his act together.

Does he not have an inhaler? It sounds like he could do with one when he gets like this.

I have asthma and when i get bad coughs/colds I'm very similar to the point in sick, few puffs of my blue inhaler and I'm okay again.

I have wondered about him needing an inhaler because I have asthma. The only time he gets like this is when he has a virus though. He's not a baby, he's 5 years old, but he's my baby. He has asd as well so I'm more protective of him I suppose. And he was very sick at birth and in nicu which to be honest I think has left me a bit panicky whenever he gets ill.

I am definitely going to ring doctors Monday, or do 111 tomorrow to see about inhalers. But I can't do any of that at the moment without husband home!

Think "d"h has just turned up. Finally. After I first messaged him at 8.

Just the same as my son, even the asd. Try him with a couple of puffs of your inhaler (if it's blue)

Can I do that? It wouldn't be harmful to give an adult dose?

I'm not entirely sure on doses to be honest , my ds has his own inhalers so maybe completely ignore me !! Someone else might be able to advise better

Ventalin is what is given to children and adults. Not sure about the dose.

Phone 111 if you are worried. Pleased to hear that you have some support now.

Well we just had an argument and he is sleeping on the sofa downstairs so not much support. But if I need to go out with son at least he is here. Son has settled down a little bit but still coughing every now and then.

Reluctant to ring 111 as they always want you to wake child up, then you wait 4 hours or more for a call back. Obviously if I think he is bad enough I'd take him to A&E. Definitely will be making some calls about getting him an inhaler though.

Oh bless you. I could cry for you

It's so so scary when they're poorly isn't it?

I think your son needs an inhaler. Does your Doctors surgery have an out of hours service on a Saturday? Ours does and you could make an appointment to see someone tomorrow

Also some hospitals have out of hours GP appointments at the weekend

If not take him to the GP on Monday xxx

As for your husband - as you're married there's no 'his house'. It all gets put in the pot and divided up as per need

You might want to consider seeing a solicitor for 30 minutes free, or a couple of different solicitors for 30 minutes free

Also citizens advice is great and so helpful

With your wage, child benefit, Universal credit, child maintenance, rent and council tax rebate and your money from the family pot.....you might find you're OK should you decide to divorce 🥰😍

He’ll struggle taking an inhaler without a spacer. Definitely call 111 tomorrow.

if he keeps up coughing/vomitting tonight I’d call 111 sooner - he probably needs an inhaler/spacer and he should get some relief soon.

call doctors on Monday and ask for him to see the asthma nurse.

My 5 year old daughter has a pump because she always gets a nasty cough.

When her cough is flaring up I find warm milk & honey usually help’s settle her enough to get her to sleep. Might be worth a try?

They won’t test for asthma at this age but definitely speak to the doctor about a pump. My dd started on a blue pump and we’re now trialling a brown pump in addition which actually seems to be working.

She and my husband get given exactly the same blue inhalers though. So I wouldn’t be worried about dosage.

Thanks everyone. He has been quiet for a while now (listened on the camera and he is still breathing!)
But I can't sleep now thinking about everything.
I'm glad people seem to agree with me and didn't say "it's just a cough deal with it on your own"
Hope husband is really uncomfortable on the sofa 😅

How is DC now? 🥰

My thoughts exactly. So many women put up with miserable lives for a big house. All it does is cause unhappiness and build resentment and jealousy of others.