Can anyone advise me how to stop worrying about work?

[MoreStressMoreShit]

Always worrying. In case I've made a mistake or that I'll fuck something up and end up getting the sack or whatever. Always worrying what people think of me etc. Beating myself up.

Any tips would be gratefully received. I'm determined this year to try and become more detached and not let it into my home, ruining my weekends...

Sorry no tips but here for solidarity and to let you know you’re not alone.

I was the same so I got a new job. I'm still training but it's much better.

My old boss messaged my yesterday asking if I'd done something whilst I was working there and I had but there was no record of it.

I know for a fact that I'd be in trouble if I was still there, even though I had done what they asked. Instead, I'm not there so don't have to worry about it and it feels amazing!

OP - look up 'imposter syndrome' and see if it rings any bells.

Beating yourself up is a choice. It also makes you feel worse - it has the same effect on your nervous system as if someone else beat you up. Vice versa, if you treated yourself compassionately it'd have a similar effect to another person doing it.

If you made a different choice about how you talk to yourself, you'd feel different.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/stress/managing-stress-and-building-resilience/#TipsForManagingStress

Pick someone in your office who is shit. When you start worrying think "did I do a better job that X today?"

I really struggle with this too. I know it's stereotyping but I often think "would the men be thinking this?" cos my experience is they've often been far more crap than me and never seem to care.

I've said this before. Men just don't give a shit!

I'm the same. Keeps me awake. Hate it.

Full sympathy here, my work anxiety was off the scale. Overchecking emails after sent, spending too long on things, staying late, worrying all weekend. Exhausting and felt sick with anxiety sometimes. Employers loved me as so conscientious! Had to leave one particular job as found too stressful. Took a pay cut for the next.

SAHM and have been for a few years, I can’t face going back to that level of anxiety. I will think very very carefully about my next role and I need to find something that doesn’t bring out my anxiety, possibly working with children.

Edit - or possibly medication of some sort, but not antidepressants

I have the kind of job that is never finished. I just prioritise and make sure my managers know where things are up to. You cannot sensibly or productively work all the hours to get everything done. If your worries are that you haven't done something correctly then all you can do is tell your line manager what you've done and it's on them to let you know if someone else/more is required.

Step away from work and, preferably, get outside and away from things over the weekend.

I'm the same OP. I've started scheduling in a brain dump and to do tomorrow list at the end of each day.

I never used to be like this, I don't know where it's come from. I constantly think about work. I've started saying NO to my brain. It doesn't always work but recognising it and not getting stuck in the loop. Exercise and seeing friends after work also helps.

I've had therapy for this and the resounding point was "what's the worst that would happen if you did make a mistake" - unless it's life and death (sorry if it is) then the worst is you get sacked so you get a new job

But what if you can't get a new job and then you lose your home?

But my worst would be that I'd be sacked and not allowed to work in my field of expertise that I worked really hard to get and I'd have to find another job that wouldn't pay as well and my quality of life would diminish. I do think to myself if the worst happened I'd probably be more happy as a barmaid than what I am now or I could start my own cleaning business and still be okay financially but realistically I don't know if I'd manage that. I like my creative yet strategic job.

Maybe it's different if you have a dh to fall back on.

Would you really be banned from working in your whole industry if you made one human mistake, the fact you are anxious means you care and are diligent at your job, unintended negligence will always be there which is why most employers have insurance to cover mistakes

Yes, I've definitely found it much harder as a single parent. When I was married, I definitely didn't stress as much about it.

Tbh even when I worked in a kitchen on shit money I'd go home and worry I'd either go to prison for poisoning someone or burn down the premises. It's just got worse as I've got older!

Oh yes I know exactly how this feels. However, unless you haven't been in the job long or are on some sort of disciplinary process the chances of making a mistake so bad that you get sacked are probably quite low.

It can help to try to distinguish between your thoughts and worries about work and the facts. It can also sometimes help to write it down. What are you worried about? What are the hard facts about this situation? What can you actually do about it? If you can't do anything then try to let it go rather than going over it in your mind constantly.

It's also good to have things to keep you busy outside of work and if there is someone you can talk to honestly about it that can help. I try really hard to not let worries about work spoil my free time but I think worrying is part of my personality and it's not always easy.

Its actually not that easy to sack someone. Legally anyway. If there are concerns about performance you need to give feedback and put someone on a performance improvement plan with objectives and the opportunity to improve. That all takes months. Plenty of time to find another job before pushed.

But honesty, its not normal to worry about work so much. It makes me sad that you have so little belief and faith in yourself and your own abilities. You got the job on merit. It sounds like some talking therapy to tackle self esteem would help.

I'm a man, stumbled on this thread after a Google search on how to deal with anxiety and stress. Something I've struggled with for a while.

I have to say just how toxic and unnecessary this comment is.

It's really not helpful and is wildly stereotypical. It's damaging and as I've found whilst looking for help or honesty just makes me feel worse.