My Sen daughter isn’t getting the support she needs because of disruptive kids.

[Usernumber3736372836373]

Please don’t come at me. I know the mainstream school system isn’t suited for all children so naturally some children do struggle and I get it - I have two with additional needs and both have EHC plans. But both are compliant and behaved at school so often they go under the radar!

anyway, dd 9 has speech and language delays, academic struggles, possible dyslexia and dyspraxia (not diagnosed), motor skill delays, sensory needs etc. I think she could be autistic like my eldest but no one will take me seriously. She does have an EHC plan but it’s making little difference currently as the school are being poop. She doesn’t and has never needed 1:1 so this isn’t expected or needed but they aren’t really giving her much support at all currently. She used to love school but she is hating it currently but she is okay once she’s there so the school don’t see the problem - not being able to get to sleep as she is anxious about school the night before and the mornings saying she feels sick every morning refusing to get up until last minute.

there are a few children in her class who are very disruptive on a severe level so it sucks for the rest of the class! The children are swearing, screaming, they refuse to do work, throwing stuff around at and at others, one has attacked teachers etc. it’s quite extreme behaviour and the school have had outside sources in as it’s got that bad. But I feel like this is why my daughter is so unhappy in school. Firstly due to lack of support and also the behaviour in the class.

I am trying not to be judgmental but the behaviour is appalling in that one class alone. The senco and teacher seem to have all the time in the world for the parents of the disruptive kids but dd who is one of the few children with an EHC plan in the school is getting very little support!

my eldest also went to the same school in the past however the behaviour in the school wasn’t half as bad and I felt he was supported there but dd not so much!

Parents may have to appeal, but the law is the same whatever LA you live in and ultimately it isn’t the LA making the decision on whether to assess, issue or the content.

Just out of interest what in the EHC is not getting done? If they don't require a 1-1 then I assume it'll be things like SALT, play therapy, small group work and targeted support in class? How do you know they're not getting done?

Naptrappedmummy, well the causes are numerous including better diagnosis, poverty, closure of sure start centres and libraries, underfunding of schools, low pay for TA's and high agency fees, not enough special schools, OFSTED, a lack of respect for people in caring roles and a government that doesn't care because they go private.

Op could do this but the problem is the level of need is now so high schools have no hope of doing everything properly and supporting every individual to the greatest extent possible. So it would be a tick box exercise more than anything.

Like I said, until we discover the root cause of this rise in extremely challenging behaviour, these issues will continue.

I think these factors exacerbate things but aren’t the root cause. Better diagnosis wouldn’t increase the challenging behaviour - it would just mean more children would be on record as officially having X or Y condition. There are more special schools now than ever before. I can see how the cuts to support services hasn’t helped but I just can’t see the closure of libraries etc as being a reason for aggression in the classroom on the level we are seeing.

But equally, I have no answer. That’s why I think we need public enquiry of some kind. But it won’t happen, I don’t think.

Likewise I don't normally buy in to the Daily Mail type narrative of 'back in my day' but...there is some pretty crap parenting out there. In DS's class it's a mix of behavioural and SEN. It's pretty clear with the former that the apple hasn't fallen too far from the tree. Lots of 'not my son' etc and getting angry at the school for calling it out. There's a real lack of respect for education in parents which rubs off on the kids. I do wonder where that's come from. Potentially those who have done well without and don't see the benefit perhaps but why that is more prevalent now I'm not sure.

We used to have the support children needed so they weren't so dysregulated.

My dd's class is like this - 7 year old boys (no sen) swearing, yelling, shoving, touching....they;re a nightmare and are ruining it for all the other children, let allone the poor sen kids who need a bt of additional assistance. Everything goes into trying to get these little brats to behave, but sadly there's only so much the school can do when the parents don't want their little disruptive darling scolded at all in any way shape or form.

Naptrappedmummy
I think higher actual sen possibly prematurity
Some fetal alcohol syndrome
Maybe older parents so more new mutations

But dc1 whilst struggling on off at preschool really struggled starting school at 4y3.
Scratching/biting/hitting
Too many kids in open plan rooms as multiple classes with free flow. Having to sit still too much. No supervision even in playground. So other kids saying mean things and she would impulsively react etc.

So i think issues in reception and y1 can be mix of factors. But once you start negatively you just cant dig back out of that.

Eg some sen kids wont like sitting so close to other kids as at carpet time. Lining up/queues. The rooms arent exactly large for 30 kids so it would be loud.
Often kids dont have their own desk and space.

School didnt focus on social side at all.

I expect back when sahp if a child wasnt ready for school they were kept home.. Kids used to start term after (?) 5. And staggared start. So lot fewer new kids. Not great for youngest though.

But i imagine most of the kids had issues from preschool. So lack of nhs support and diagnosis.

Other countries eu and usa parents can get melatonin over the counter.
Imagine the difference that must make. I think it would be huge! Kids i know getting just a few hours sleep of course that affects behaviour.

Compared to when i was at school there are are kids doing a lot more clubs and parties and stuff at the weekend. All having benefits but can be exhausting at 4.
The range between kids at preschool 5 days 10h to sahp kids.

Things like allergies and asthma affect behaviour too as they dont feel well.

Gentle parenting, that's what it is.

Aka people who have children and then let them raise themselves. No routine, no discipline, allowed to set their own sleep patterns. Meaning kids are permanently exhausted and on the verge of meltdown, never get any proper physical exercise, poor diets and are sat in front of screens stimulating their brains constantly.

I personally think it isn't parenting, it's neglect.