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Son 7 acting like a stroppy teenager

1 reply

Emmrob123 · 04/01/2024 11:23

My son is seven and my daughter is nine. They constantly fight and argue. Very rarely do they get on. This is starting to take a toll on the whole family. It’s embarrassing when we go out, they both take it in turns to be more difficult than the other. I have always set boundaries with them and told them what I expect. I do give them a nice life, they don’t want for anything, but I’m very careful not to spoil them. However, my son particularly is Hard work currently, as he always has an answer. He’s back chatting me, shouting. I discipline him immediately explain that he is rude. Speaking to me, like that is not going to get him anywhere, I have resorted to banning him from his laptop or gaming things. I always carry out on my threat. He goes on and on and on. I stand my ground. I’m not sure where he gets it from, it doesn’t seem to be just an issue with myself, he will be like it with other family members also, people out and about. I am just really baffled as to how this has come about as he never used to be like this.

I am worried that one day someone is going to literally punch him in the face . I don’t want him to turn out to be a nasty little shit, get worse as he becomes a teenager. But I don’t know what I can do to change it, unless I keep just punishing him, I try and discuss with him what the issue is when he is calm. But it doesn’t stop anything. The school seems to think he’s a lovely boy, I took him to soft play the other day and watched him arguing with a group of boys, I watch the whole thing and he can stand his ground. Very well, however, I don’t know why he needs to get in a situation where boys just argue with each other. I encourage them to play a game and they started football, but very quickly it turns into pushing. I took my son out and said that he can’t play as it’s got too rough. They were all picking on each other, but he constantly was responding and arguing, and I just thought you really aren’t doing yourself any favours. Their parents weren’t there and nobody was watching them, so he found this unfair as they weren’t getting told off either. However, I told him that he’s my son and that I’m going to parent him if other parents aren’t. I used to think he was sensitive, but I actually think now he’s just a bit of a dick 🙈. His dad has very similar traits, however, he also has told me that he finds Jude hard work with his attitude and the way he speaks. So it’s not just me he’s like it with. What do I do?

OP posts:
Butteredtoast55 · 04/01/2024 11:31

I think you're doing a great job recognising this and standing your ground - it's increasingly rare! I work in a school and children are undoubtedly getting more argumentative and inflexible. The rows it leads to on the playground are never-ending and a large number of parents point-blank refuse to believe their child could be in the wrong. So you are not alone but you are accepting that his behaviour needs to improve and that's a great start.
I think keeping boundaries and carrying out your sanctions is key. And explaining this as a natural consequence....'because I couldn't trust you to play sensibly with the other children you're not going to the park today' or 'because you answered me back and were rude when I asked you to come off your laptop you won't play on it today' for example. Make sure your DH also articulates this to your son so he knows you're a united front. It's hard work but will hopefully pay off as he gets older. Good luck!

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