My DS's friends mum died 2 years ago.
We were not friends but had known each other for chats at drop offs and pick ups/texts for same since kindergarten.
She had been ill so maybe we were more in touch during that difficult period.
Anyway, the first Christmas they were without their mum I sent a hamper and card. Our dc are now no longer friends (outgrown each other for the moment I think rather than a fall out) but I occasionally run into the father. We will exchange news and chit chat but again, we are very much so acquaintances rather than friends.
Coming up to Christmas I was dithering as to how best to handle it. Assuming it is still raw to them I sent a hamper again and a card to the family. I didn't bother mention it to DH until tonight and he thinks it was way too intrusive.
He thinks it is none of my business to intrude on their grief and I shouldn't have sent anything. I'm torn between believing him (and being embarrassed) and thinking feck it: if everyone thought that they might ignore them completely and expect them to sail on as if their lovely mum had never been.
Fwiw:she was young and it was a shock and I am still horrified by the tragedy of it- when it doesn't affect my daily life so can only imagine how it is for them.
Otoh I have never lost anyone and maybe forgetting and moving on is what you'd prefer people (especially relative strangers) to do