Does your 13 yr old have parental controls on their phone etc?

[Barrenfieldoffucks]

Asking because DD swears none of her friends do.

She has a couple of very basic ones: phone and iPad turn off at a chosen time in the eve, and a time limit on some apps like tiktok.

Is this the norm for their age? I don't want her wasting all of her spare time watching crap on tiktok, but understand her wanting to watch some.

No - the deal is the minute he breaks my trust with anything I take the phone off him.
some might say negligent but it works for us x

DD is 16 and we are in the process of taking controls off as we are the opinion she earned the trust and it's still enough time for her to make mistakes while we can help her before she is suddenly alone with it.

With 13 she didn't have social media outside WhatsApp and also time restrictions.

I’ve got a teenager a bit older than that but I don’t know how to install parental controls without him overriding them because he is really good with computers. I thought about monitoring him through the internet connections but, decided to let him keep his privacy. I think it’s really important to talk to them about inappropriate content and interactions with strangers, you will get a sense of what they’re up to.

We had to take them off because she couldn't get access to the links put on her online homework app thingy with them on, it was restricting access to pretty much everything.

Yes. You're being a sensible parent. I've spent years working in digital/tech and it always amazes me that parents simply hand devices with unrestricted internet access to their children. Social media, apps and the current iteration of the internet are the new Alcohol and Tobacco. Anyhow, rant over.

We used Google's Family Link for both our kids. When eldest DD turned 16, all controls came off. Youngest is 13 and we still use Family Link.

I never used parental controls, just monitored it myself. Phone was taken out of his room after he went to bed.

Yes. There's a filter on the internet search and the phone is set to turn off at night and turn on again in the morning.

Agree. Parents who don't put restrictions on are absolutely crazy and very naive in my opinion.

Yep. Time limit on apps but I often extend it when she requests. It’s more so she doesn’t scroll mindlessly, also a good bargaining chip! Also linked account on TikTok with parental controls, banned searches etc.

Yes, she has to have permission to download apps.
No tik tok
I can look at it whenever I wish.
I check it fairly regularly.
It is removed an hour before bed.

Yes, my 14 year old has time restrictions and some sites such as TikTok, Reddit, and Discord can’t be accessed at all - I may reconsider this now he’s older. He also can’t add Apps or anything unless I approve them.

My 11 year olds phone is very restricted to the point I control his contacts and he can only communicate with approved contacts as he’s proven he can’t be trusted

We use family link so the can't download any apps without me putting in my password. No social media other than WhatsApp. There is no time limit on it but he has to leave him phone on charge when he goes up to bed. 8pm weekdays and 9pm on weekends/holidays. He can read books in his room once he goes up.

Online Safety lead and Computing teacher here. My DS is only 4 so doesn’t have a tablet or internet access yet.

You are absolutely doing the right thing. Please put parental controls on your child’s devices. They are 13. It is so young and you would be so, so shocked at what they can get access too. There are many websites out there (I don’t know if I can link them here but Google online safety, parental controls and lots of help will come up) to help you if you need it.

Most of the safeguarding concerns that are raised in the secondary school where I work are all linked to online safety. TikTok, WhatsApp, Snapchat and Discord being the most common apps used. You are protecting your child and, although they might be annoyed now, you’re doing the right thing!

Similar here then, that's interesting.

The router is set to block discord and Reddit, and I have some banned phrases in tiktok which is linked to mine. I only set one up for this purpose, I have no real idea about how it works which is a bit of a worry. Any suggestions of more phrases or whatever I can check for gratefully appreciated.

We use family link too, it seems to work well.

In the holidays or whatever I may give her more time if she asks, or if I feel she has done a balanced amount of other things. I don't mind her watching a series on Netflix or whatever, we have content controls on the WiFi etc, but I just don't want tiktok etc being allowed indefinitely

Another vote for Google family. DS was trying to download various dating apps etc, then tried downloading VPN apps to avoid the restriction but it all flags up instantly on my phone. I'm never getting into a physical tussle with him to get the phone, I can just lock it from mine. I also insist on knowing the passcode and used to check his chats on Snapchat regularly as he is naive and exactly the kind of kid who would share or post something that would get him into bother because "x said I had to". He doesn't have Snap any more, or Insta.

We use Family Link. Child is now 15, so restrictions are mostly lifted - apart from bedtime, in-app purchases, and 18 rated content. We've done this gradually - lots of restrictions at age 11, but gradually reduced as child matured, and we will likely uninstall when child turns 16. Child hates parent controls, says no one else has them, but I see it as safeguarding my child.

Sorry to hijack but has anyone found a decent parental control app that monitors web searches? We tried Qustodio but my 11 year old immediately hacked it. Family Link is great for the basics but doesn't offer any search monitoring.

My 11 year olds phone is very restricted to the point I control his contacts and he can only communicate with approved contacts as he’s proven he can’t be trusted

How do you do this please?

We use Screen Time on our kid's devices. My 14yo (Year 10) can download apps but I have to approve them before she can use them. There are filters on the internet but she can search for what she wants (she needs quite a bit of access for school). I can also see her website history too should I need to. Device goes off before bed.

Lots of her friends don't have any restrictions on their devices but my daughter seems okay with ours. We do discuss it with her. For example, we allowed Snapchat because her cadet friends use it and she felt left out of meet ups and things.

We really try to talk to her about any restrictions and we're not out to socially exclude her.

She spends ages on YouTube but as long as her school work is done to a decent (not rushed) standard and she's keeping up with her predicted grades, then we don't make an issue of it. She knows that if these start slipping then YouTube will be blocked and time restrictions back on her phone.

Yes. Dd14, ds13 both have parental controls and no social media. Parental controls will go at 16.
Both mine have given up asking now, but it got so tiresome with the badgering, that I warmed dd any more nagging for social media and I'd confiscate her phone. It got confiscated times before the penny dropped!

I use parental controls on my 13 year olds phone. Turns it off at 9pm until 6am and they have to ask permission to install apps.

I don't understand the family link thing. I had it on my son's phone and the minute he turned 13 it came off. How do I reinstate it?!

Yes, both my 11 year old and 14 year old do. They both have downtime 8pm-7am and 7pm-7am) and allowed contacts only during this time (DH, me, IL's). The 11 yr old has allowed websites only, 14 has the next level up (no adult or whatever the settings are) and I randomly check his history.

Neither have WhatsApp, although I think I'll allow 14 this year. No Snapchat, TikTok etc.

Both have all games limited to 30 mins a day.
youtube not allowed on phones, only on tv.
ask before installing apps.

Both are happy (except 14 year old wants WhatsApp or Snapchat as he keeps getting asked) for now and understand why we have restrictions on.

tbh neither are particularly interested in the social side of having a phone yet. It's mainly so we can contact them and them us (we have no house phone) when they need to.

My niece comes home crying that none of her friends have any controls of their phone and don't have to leave their phone downstairs overnight and that it's so embarrassing for her.

Her friends are lying. They absolutely do have the same restrictions, my sister is in contact/friends with all their parents. They're just embarrassed to admit it

When they turn 13 they are given the option to turn it off, they get an email from google. Mine were told they either kept it turned on, or the phone was removed. You can add any gmail account back onto monitoring via the Family Link app.