What absolutely ridiculous and inconsequential things have put you off a partner?

[InstrumentsofTorture]

I don't mean completely acceptable reasons like poor hygiene, lying, flakiness etc. I mean things that the poor other person could not possibly have anticipated would mean the end of their relationship.

For me it was many years ago when I finally finally got together with a lad I'd had a crush on for about 3 years. About 2 months after we started seeing each other he invited me to his house. Which is where he committed the unforgivable sin of picking up a broom and sweeping the kitchen floor.

That was it. 3 years of obsessing over him and, just like that, a bloody sweeping brush came between us.

My friend went on a date with a guy she met through OLD. It was going well until at the end of the night he said to her ‘let’s go to my car so I can let you unleash my trouser beast’

This man was pushing 60 🤦‍♀️

Is anyone else hoping this goes into part 2? Thanks to all contributors for making us laugh 🤣

I've just remembered one: guy I adored in 6th form, I just fell in love with his physical presence one day when I saw him in my town.l, in the holidays before the year started. He wasn't into me at all (it was obvious I liked him and that it wasn't reciprocated) but at the big Halloween bash we had, he got very drunk, designed to come speak to me and told me he was a devout Christian, and that wine was the blood of Christ so it was ok. I've never had the capacity to believe in any kind of god and just realised he was the opposite of someone I could have anything in common with (he was also put into my tutor group which was full of weird art kids, myself included - he was exceedingly straight laced and normie, and asked to be moved - he was physically uncomfortable sat with us all. Strangely that wasn't enough to make me realise). Chronic waste of a beautiful form, that lad. Just nothing about him.

This has been the best read - what a tonic! 😂

This has actually reminded me of the days before mobile phones and SM that you would meet someone in a club or pub and agree to meet them again then realise you had no clue what they looked like 😂or maybe that was just me!

Another, an ex of mine from my early 20s who I hope has grown up now: lost his job as a security guard after just waving someone through without checking their ID (he never did) and the place was burgled. It was the kind of place with a barrier and a little cabin, he told me he would wank in there and nap. I bet it stank. He was also obsessed with Soccer AM, his daft lad friends and all their in-jokes, wanted me to be super stepford normie (I really wasn't) and had a premature ejac issue. The thing that did it in the end was him and his mate asking if me and mate's girlfriend would be up for a threesome, and told us both the other had already said yes.

God I wish I could edit my posts. DEIGNED.

Bless 😂
Did he have his mittens on a long string & threaded through his coat sleeves too?

Just remembered another one.

We were getting down to it and he called me a 'horny wench'. Immediate ick. I had to make my excuses and leave.

lol 🤣🤣🤣

This is making me howl 😂. I’m sure I’ll think of a few of my own , but my friend once stood a date up because she saw him waiting and didn’t like his shoes 😂 she said they were ‘hooky’ which I think meant they fastened with hooks rather than laces . She was ruthless.

@alltoomuchrightnow stop it 😂 I’m crying

I'm going to add , Mr BPants man is also in his 60s...not some immature young lad.
Ok this is the best bit...not like ick just still makes me laugh. I said his dick was mature (what I meant was, in age...but it was actually a compliment..that it erm went the distance, it actually worked..I had had like two decades of , shall we say, premature guys... but his dick really was the ONLY decent thing about this guy...) He thought I said 'your dick is Midge Ure'...
We split a week later, this was recent. He tried to win me back by sending me Midge Ure and Ultravox's Greatest Hits. Which went in my charity donations bag.

Probably shouldn’t post this but this thread is like a confessional 🤣

Started having sex with a new partner and we were doing it doggie style. After literally 3 pumps he started screaming and I thought ‘is that it’

No he pulled out and started rolling on floor shouting about his arthritic knees locking and I’d have to go on top now. Because obviously a mad rolling in floor screaming and grabbing his arthritic knees obviously kept me at the height of passion

Agree I would love this!

Oh, another one.

He was very handsome and I couldn't work out why he was making such a big effort to date me. I was a bit of an emotional mess at the time and on the verge of being out of control. He was a bit older and had his life in order. I liked him a lot. He was really kind, took me on a date to somewhere I'd mentioned in passing that i always wanted to go. He was just lovely and I was pretty sure this could be a really special relationship.

Until the first time we went to bed. And he undressed. And I saw that he had been wearing a pair of bright yellow cycling shorts as underwear.

Poor guy. Instant turn off.

If we're over sharing I had a guy take absolutely forever because he "pinched a nerve backpacking in the Czech republic"

This means nothing to me.

@MasterBeth just spat my tea out when I finally got that one 😂this thread is brightening up a boring day 😂😂

@alltoomuchrightnow
"YOUR DICK IS MIDGE URE" 😂😂😂😂😂

12 years ago. Been dating seriously for some months. Both in our 30’s. He had his own business running a food trailer on a shopping park (which was not the issue). It gradually unfolded that his mum would help out and look after the financial/stock/preparation side of the business for him and would give him £100 cash per week to ‘live on’. When that ran out there would be no more. He had his own house (some such set up but house was ultimately owned by mummy and daddy). Unsure how or who paid his utility bills. Would consult mummy re every decision and things about our relationship too. I felt parents knew too much personal stuff. We’d just sit down to watch a film and mummy would ring to ask him about his day at the trailer. Very insular and claustrophobic. I ended it quick-sharp!

Make a noise when he eats, not just with his mouth, kind of a contented grunting as well. I had to leave the room.

@alltoomuchrightnow and @MasterBeth Best things so far this year!

LOL, I'm dying

I was once at a singles dance for over 30s. I never went again because it was basically loads of old men not dancing and watching younger women dance, including me.

Luckily I went with a group of other women. It was winter and I really feel the cold, so over my cocktail dress I was wearing a cardigan (potentially that should be on the reverse ick thread!). I didn't care, I was mostly there just to dance anyway.

On my way to the bar (so first time alone that night), one of these older "gents" stopped me and said: "Cor! I like you! I reckon you should ditch the cardi though". Then at the bar (all men hanging there), I got a "will you marry me" as a hello from one of them, in front of everyone.

Reported back to my group of women at the table, all of whom were disgusted and pissed.

I thought it was really funny and made my night. Went back to dancing.