What absolutely ridiculous and inconsequential things have put you off a partner?

[InstrumentsofTorture]

I don't mean completely acceptable reasons like poor hygiene, lying, flakiness etc. I mean things that the poor other person could not possibly have anticipated would mean the end of their relationship.

For me it was many years ago when I finally finally got together with a lad I'd had a crush on for about 3 years. About 2 months after we started seeing each other he invited me to his house. Which is where he committed the unforgivable sin of picking up a broom and sweeping the kitchen floor.

That was it. 3 years of obsessing over him and, just like that, a bloody sweeping brush came between us.

I also had a problem with the name Jason, I hope it wasn't the same one and the poor bloke kept being dumped for his name.

A pink jumper

I wouldn’t date anyone who walked with their feet turned out, like a duck.

One night we jumped into bed, he was pretty drunk and struggled to pull off his pants so being the woman that I am said I'd help him.
His words....
' oh don't look in them Iv had them on days there's probably shit stains all in them '
Didn't know my vag was capable of closing up so quick.

Another one from my teen years. Was running local youth clubby disco and this guy turned up, older (by only a couple of years) brother of a school mate. He a bit trendy in a Saturday night fever way,short hair, smartish dress, but cute. I had the takings so he gave me a lift home. Asked if I wanted to go “for a drive”, but was ok when I said mum expected me home (because I had the money) polite, saw me in. Asked if I’d like to go for a drink, but I was underage (16 to his almost 18). Why didn’t I go out with him? Checked crimpeline slacks. Which ALL my mates had checked out and gleefully pointed out that our chemistry teacher wore. Yes I did check when sm arrived, let’s say he matured very well.

His idea of foreplay was, 'it is in yet, love?'
Can't decide if this is worse than the Dad's Army one, but both are bloody funny!😂

I've probably written these on here before:

• called an umbrella a 'brolly'
• was perfectly ok until he suddenly produced a checked double breasted suit jacket which he casually slipped into
• was 6 foot 6. I know he couldn't help it but it was like going on a date with lurch.

I told friend later, why did you choose a man for me so small I could have used him for a tampon? 😂😂😂

Nope. He doesn’t have that excuse.

Oh this made me roar with laughter!

These are all different men!

Dotted his i’s with little circles (he was 40!!)

When he sang he did little grunts/grrs like Matt Goss did in Bros

Tied his trainers tight with big bows that hung down

Answered his door wearing little black underpants (nothing else) when I first went to his for dinner. In between cooking he would do reps with a big dumbbell he had in the living room, all whilst still in the little black pants. His physique was more Mr Sheen than Mr Universe.

I call the fridge, the refrigerated bin, for that reason. Things saved that you just know will not be eaten and you'll end up binning it yourself in a few days time.

Any man with an unhealthy interest in guns/weapons/knives. Any man who goes shooting wildlife as a 'hobby' (a farmer is different I guess). They all suggest a deeply dodgy geezer to me.

@barbarahunter what's wrong with called an umbrella a brolly?
😍🤣😂

First time we had sex, he asked if he "should slip one on". Mercifully the sex was very short and I finished with him next day!

I know! I say brolly ☂️ 🙈

And I’m being serious … 🤫

I was wrong in my earlier post about DP.
He doesn't say "pop to the loo".

He says "Nip to the loo".
Nip.

I'm packing my bags as I type.

Pudmyboy, he was an absolute CAVE MAN!
We have mutual friends and apparently he's still the same, in his 70s now
and married to a sex therapist.. they are the perfect match, she's even worse
than him! He was also so well endowed I had to wait two weeks before seeing him each time.. I could not cope!! sorry TMI. I had to end it within months...

Second drummer (he of the overworked brain) is a millionaire, he didn't make his fortune from drumming. But, he wore Primark burgundy pants. Proper briefs, not boxers. I don't do briefs. Wonderfully well endowed (but didn't he know it) but enclosed in burgundy briefs. Uggggg.

Once went out with a man, we were talking and I asked him if he liked football. He said no, and added, 'it's all relative really, isn't it?' When I asked him what he meant, he replied, 'well, my dad never liked it either.'

I went to a new boyfriend's flat and things became smoochy on the sofa. He took my hand and led me into his bedroom. He switched on the light and that was when I discovered that all he had was a ceiling light with a bulb and no lamp shade around it plus it was the brightest possible bulb you could buy.

He had no other form of lighting in his bedroom which meant we would have to do the deed either incomplete pitch black darkness or under that horrible 100 watt light bulb.

It put me off him completely. How could he possibly think that any woman would like to make love under those lighting conditions?

Yes, this was the leading reason I dumped an otherwise lovely man (that and being 21 and not wishing to get married yet). I never knew what he ACTUALLY wanted to do because he deferred to me in all things. Sent me quietly round the bend.