PIL dog vs holiday plans

[JazzFourth]

I love my parents in law so I hesitated to start a moaning thread, but we've spent a lot of time together since Christmas and I could really do with a vent..!!

They have a dog who they certainly love more than they love me, possibly more than their son too 🙄😆. They booked a rare holiday abroad a couple of months ago and then asked us if we'd look after their dog. We said yes, as long as it wasn't x-y dates as we have our own holiday plans. Actually, they didn't ask us outright, they assumed with lots of daft jokey comments about alternatives, and then beat around the bush with details as they needed to check dates etc. Next time it was mentioned we discussed dates, and it emerged that there is indeed a clash of 4 out of the 8 days in question. Conversation moved on and I thought that was it.

A couple of months have passed, and now they have asked again if we are going to be ok to have the dog. I had momentarily forgotten their dates and replied that we were happy to have her whenever we could, as long as it wasn't x week. Discussion ensued between them whether they would get booked in to the preferred kennels now/would they have to cancel etc 🙄 It's not for months yet, so I'm sure there won't be a problem! Then they asked us where we were going. The thing is, although we are firm on which week and a rough plan, nothing is actually booked yet, we were going to sort it in the New Year. We have told them this before. I know they think I am we are being unreasonable... But are we?

I do feel a bit guilty about now booking something, but I don't think I should really? There was a slightly miffed trailing off of 'let us know' 'we'll work it out' etc. I think they are being unreasonable in not accepting our answer the first time and making this feel like my problem. I love dogs. I don't have a dog, and the lack of freedom (on top of that caused by having children!) is the reason why. I've got a feeling this will be brought up again and I don't want to upset them but ARRrrgh! I wish they wouldn't do this!

AHH, that's better, thanks for the rant!😄

we have a similar situation to you and honestly for the ease of dog sitting for eachother and because you haven’t got anything booked yet I would just do it for them. I do think it’s cheeky of them though! We were in a situation last year where my mother in law couldn’t have our dogs complete over sight on my part was only a day thing not a holiday so got them sorted but I realised then how lucky we were to have eachother to look after each others dogs so don’t do anything to disrupt that! Cheeky feckers though!

Tell them to join Rover. They'll be able to find a dog sitter in their area who will look after the dog In their home rather than kennels.

Give her plenty of notice Fido needs a kennel booking so jabs etc can be done....

They shouldn't have booked without confirming first so this their mistake. You told them you couldn't do those dates and they have done nothing to sort it out. Just book your holiday. It's not your problem. Tell them you are happy to look after the dog next time if you are free if they want to move their holiday dates.

I have a dog and would never assume that my plans trump someone else's. Book your holiday and tell them to find paid doggy care. Kennels are awful though, home boarders much better.

Stick to your plans. If you haven't booked something yet it doesn't matter. Just say "We booked off those days because that's what works for our jobs", you then book where you're going later.

I predict mil won't get the vaccinations done in time and go crying to dh But Ddog Is Faaaamily... And thoroughly expect you to cancel your trip..... And dh will be torn between his dm and dw. Typical mn sap dh...
Or will he support his dw and family and go on holiday??
Keep us updated op!

We have a dog (DHs choice ) , if I am asking anyone to look after rookiedog I give them the dates and a lot of notice.

I'd send them a link to rover.com if the holiday is a few weeks away they have plenty of time to get a sitter sorted.

@JazzFourth

DH just gets a bit irritable with them but then moves on, but I don't want to play into the awkward dil role by getting arsey with them.

Is he absolutely clear though, that you/he can't be responsible for his parents pets/plans because you're already committed? Or just gets irritated and leaves it to you for the final answer to his parents? 🌹

YANBU. They are!! The dog is obviously their responsibility to look after. I am same as you, I love dogs but love of freedom is why I don't have one too. I'd book your holiday for the whole time and they can sort it out.

I think you need to spell it out to them as they clearly don’t understand that you have to go away that week and that’s why they are being wishy washy.

Tell them you told them originally those dates wouldn’t work and that is the only week you are going to be able to take that trip - you can’t move the dates and they’ll have to sort something else out. Agree your DH should be dealing but if he’s going to be unclear/not firm enough then you need to be.

They need to have options for dog care that don’t include you.

@Christmastreestillinonepiece I'm afraid we are all a little less soap opera than that sorry to disappoint. There is no conflict between me and dh, and he is not the sap you so charmingly imagine so I think you'll be disappointed if I do update the thread.

(Edit for spelling)

They are like those people who ask 'what percentage are you on?' when you ask for your OWN phone charger back 😂 Book your holiday and let it be a lesson to them!

It’s irrelevant if it’s a pet or “family”, how much you or they love the dog etc.

I love my nephews but I wouldn’t not go on a planned holiday so their parents could go away and leave them with me. My parents adore their Grandchildren but wouldn’t take kindly to me booking a holiday without even asking first and then faffing around half asking for them to have my children at a time they intended to be away themselves. I’d be told no, and expect to be.

”But it’s family” applies to things like cancelling a holiday because someone is seriously ill in hospital. Not someone’s dog might have to go in kennels - or of course they could always change their plans to take account of their dog/family member…