Advice please for a shy 14 yr old

[Lifecanbehard]

My daughter is 14, 15 in a few months. She's quiet and quite shy, especially around boys. She has a small friendship group but finds making friends quite hard. She's petite and pretty but cannot see this herself. She has had her fair share of interest from boys but is always under the impression that it is a wind up and that they are taking the mick. There are a few very confident 'boy mad' girls who have been quite nasty when boys have shown interest and this hasn't helped. She has been friends with a few boys for nearly 3 years but after being constantly knocked back and having invitations to join them turned down they've backed off. How can I help her with her confidence and make her believe in herself.

Her confidence and self-belief doesn't need to come from boys. I would back off from the boy side of things.

at 14, she doesn't need to be thinking about boys at all. better to ignore them and let them approach her.

what is she good at? sport or art or music or academic subjects? what ever it is, support her in developing some expertise and in finding something that she can enjoy regardless of what other people are getting up to.

Oooh yes, definitely encourage some confidence in what she does before thinking about her managing relationships with boys.

OP kindly making her centre life around boys and male validation isn't going to help her.

I clearly didn't come across very clearly, I'm just trying to make her confident around boys and girls equally. Not looking for validation from boys or relationships. That is not what I meant to portray.

Ok, but maybe it is ok to be shy? I've been shy all my life and it hasn't done me much harm.

If you make her feel there is something wrong with being shy and quiet, that will knock her confidence. So just tell her she is doing fine with whatever she is doing and that is better.

Back off and let her be herself.

Acting/drama classes. She can act like she is confident and that in turn brings confidence.