My DD just doesn’t listen and it is driving me crazy. Any tips?

[Fantina]

15 year old DD is lovely in so many ways but as thread title says, she just doesn’t listen.

I’ll ask her to go and get dressed for an appointment and half an hour later when it is time to leave she’s still in bed pyjamas. I’ll ask her to let the dog out, and when I come in she hasn’t done it etc. she isn’t doing it to be difficult, she just doesn’t listen. She also claims I haven’t asked her to do such and such a thing when I definitely have.

She gets mad if I micromanage her ‘are you getting dressed?’ ‘Have you let the dog out?’ But I also don’t have the headspace to keep checking she’s doing as I ask as life is so busy I need things to get done when I ask.

it’s driving me mad and I don’t want to be grumpy with her several times a day!

Any tips?

Have you tried texting her? Even if she's right in front of you? That way she can't say you haven't told her and all teens are glued to their phones 24/7.

Teenagers go through a second period of selective deafness, the first is as toddlers, but they eventually grow out of it (or move out!).

Stop telling her what to do. Nobody tells you what to do. If she doesn’t get dressed she can’t go for her appointment.

one instruction at a time

get up
get dressed
coat on

adding you have an appointment so hurry up muddles things

I have to do this with ds (16) and it’s like having a six year old but it does help

@NeverTrustAPoliceman Yes I do that but not usually when she is in the same room! I could try to use that more, although I’m sure she’d just claim she hadn’t seen it!

I was in the middle of doing the dishes when I told her to get ready for her appointment and she wandered off upstairs, I thought to get dressed, and then didn’t actually do it. The same would have happened if I’d stopped what I was doing and texted her. I hate the (I think) completely unnecessary stress it adds into the day.

@HRTQueen That does sound like the toddler years again and I’m not sure I can bear it again! I assumed that reminding her that she had an appointment would make her understand there was impetus to actually do it.