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Original poster

How to stop intrusive / catastrophic thoughts

41 replies

BrainMog · 02/01/2024 11:59

Without medication? I have suffered from these very badly since having children. Most of it is about risk to them. But to give an example: I saw a tv clip yesterday about a child that died young of an illness. Now I can't get it out of my head and I worry that this will happen to my children. And then I worry that I might make it happen by thinking about it. It sounds silly, but I'm sat here now and my day is given over to this. I can't concentrate on anything else without it coming back in. It's hard to be happy when all you see and feel is danger or harm coming to people that you love :-(

I just wonder if anybody has any idea how to handle these feelings or stop them in their tracks. Thank you

OP posts:
coffeeisthebest · 02/01/2024 12:06

Without medication and through therapy and meditation I am learning to stop fearing and being tortured by the thoughts. They don't impact me in the same way. It's a different approach but I am not trying to stop them, just allow them less weight.

Original poster
BrainMog · 02/01/2024 12:17

Good to know it's possible. Do you use any guided meditations?

OP posts:
Original poster
BrainMog · 02/01/2024 19:21

I have tried meditation this afternoon but I'm not calm enough to get into the zone unfortunately!

OP posts:
Marilla1966 · 02/01/2024 19:24

For me, I take Sertraline and had therapy. Both these together have helped so much. I did a CBT course over the phone (it was during Covid) but I don’t think it was intense enough. They don’t run my life anymore. Wishing you all the best as intrusive thoughts can be soul destroying x

Original poster
BrainMog · 02/01/2024 19:37

I'm so glad you've got on top of it. Sertraline has been suggested in the past. To be honest, I don't know why I'm so against taking them. I think I don't want to feel worse. And I have an FT job and am worried I'd be slowed down mentally, at least initially. And I just can't afford that period of adjusting. Sometimes I think life is just a bit too frightening for me, even though (ironically) I'm somebody who loves life really and can truly see joy. I just can't let myself feel it

OP posts:
SippingSipsmith · 02/01/2024 19:53

No advice as such but I'm exactly where you are except maybe living with it for longer. I really want to sort it out this year.

I find it gets so much worse in the winter months. I think as I'm 40 this year I'm slightly peri perhaps as this winter it's been out of control.

I've had 4 rounds of therapy. I know what I need to do but never strong enough to do it.

I don't want to take meds and risk feeling even worse and having to rely on tablets really.

I'm going to pop down to Holland and Barratt this week and get CBD everything and some saffron to try. I need to up my exercise as that's slipped lately and get outside even more.

I'm with you though. It's absolutely miserable.

HottestEverRecordedTemperature · 02/01/2024 20:03

I have had this also for years and recently things have become worse with the Middle east conflict where I feel on high alert at all times. I drive to school each day to pick up the Dcs absolutely sure that they have been killed or have been pushed off roofs etc. Dcs are 14 and 12.

I do alot of self talk. I have been on medication in the past but not for a few years. I do an internal running narrative 'This is not real. This is you being worried. There is nothing to worry about otherwise you would have heard'.

It waxes and wanes. But I now manage to be slightly objective and view myself from the outside when I succumb. I believe that it is a way of the inner self running through catastrophes so we can somehow plan for them. But it is exhausting.

Original poster
BrainMog · 02/01/2024 20:15

Yes you're so right - it's a mechanism of protection isn't it? Yet, simultaneously, the knowledge that we have no control. It's awful

OP posts:
x2boys · 02/01/2024 20:17

I know you said without medication but sertraline really helped me
I was the same every time I read or saw something tragic about a child I would dwell.on it it really impacted my life and it got worse after we had a sudden death of a ( not a child);close family member, about 8 years ago .

Newchat · 02/01/2024 20:18

Honestly I think sertraline would really help with this type of thought rut. Along with some CBT but it sounds like it is very bad from your description and I think you shouldn’t have to live your life like this. Ask your GP for support and a discussion about medication and CBT x

DorisDoesDoncaster · 02/01/2024 20:18

Try the Thrive Programme by Rob Kelly - it has changed my life. I won’t go into details of my thought patterns prior to doing this course with one of his coaches, but all I can say is my head was not a nice place to be before…

HippoStraw · 02/01/2024 20:21

Honestly, sertraline and no alcohol have been an effective combination for me. I didn’t find that sertraline slowed me down at all, or hard to adjust to. I may have been lucky but they usually start a low dose and increase if needed.

Notsandwiches · 02/01/2024 20:22

Self talk following a CBT course and meds from a medical herbalist. When I found myself in catastrophe mode I'd contradict my thinking with "yes but they're/it's ok now". Over time (weeks) it gradually stopped. Whilst these thoughts were running the show it was a very frightening time.

upwardsonwards · 02/01/2024 20:22

Due to childhood trauma I have them a lot. I have learned not to jump on board with them. My therapist taught me to treat them like clouds/helium balloons passing and if I catch myself getting on board with an intrusive thought to call it out to myself immediately to let it go again. So I say to myself

“This is an intrusive thought, it is not helpful to me, I’m not going to get on board with it.”

With practice now, they just pass by.

It helps to remember that they are not real, they are just thoughts. Just like emotions are not necessarily real, they are just emotions. It is by analysis of our thoughts and our emotions that we figure out how we need to react to them but the very first part of that analysis is to sieve out the intrusive thoughts/emotions.

stargirl1701 · 02/01/2024 20:37

I had ACT therapy which eliminated the intrusive thoughts.

TheseLegsDefinitelyUsedToBeLonger · 02/01/2024 20:37

@upwardsonwards thank you for sharing the tip about the balloons… I’m going to try this. I also have intrusive thoughts stemming from childhood trauma… it’s tough.

Delassalle · 02/01/2024 20:56

In this video, Shaan will breakdown the exact steps on how to stop intrusive thoughts once and for all. Shaan will give you the tools and knowledge of how the mind works and how to have your thoughts works for you, not against you.

This way, scary-intrusive thoughts won't affect you and you'll go back to living freely and carefree.

BakedBeeeen · 02/01/2024 21:02

Listen to the Parenting Hell podcast, a recent episode with Kimberley Nixon, she struggled with OCD and intrusive thoughts as a new parent and has come through it, might be worth a listen?

Atethehalloweenchocs · 02/01/2024 21:19

CBT for OCD. You can do self help programs online. Or get a referral from the GP.

Gilead · 02/01/2024 21:47

This is a very common form of cbt. A combination of therapy and medication will help. I had this after my first and needed medication, it takes a while. You’ll suddenly realise you haven’t had one of ‘those’ thoughts for a couple of hours, you’ll fish around, like a tongue playing with a loose tooth, to see if they’re still there, they will be, But that couple of hours becomes days and weeks. It does go but helping yourself with therapy and meds also helps.

Original poster
BrainMog · 02/01/2024 21:48

Thank you all, I'm going to work my way through all these resources

Just doing a trigger warning here - this is a bit of graphic imagining so please don't read if this stuff upsets you too..

It also works backwards. I'll look at my daughter's shoe and an image of a shoe relating to eg a concentration camp will come into my mind.And then I'll go into a spiral thinking about those children and their mothers and imagining what they felt. And then worrying about a future where history happens again. I don't know if anybody else does this - if it's normal empathy or something really wrong. All I know is it makes the world seem very hard to bear. Gosh I do sound like a bit of a state don't I?

OP posts:
ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 02/01/2024 22:21

Following, also same for me in winter months.. I think the weather makes it worse, rain... And storms and being trapped places etc.

I try and keep busy but I think every Jan I get worse feelings of dread and health anxiety and worry.

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 02/01/2024 22:22

Op I don't do that but yes something innocuous will trigger a dreadful thought pattern leading to unhappy events...

TheBoarRushedDownhill · 02/01/2024 22:28

“What if it all works out?”

I learn this phrase from a podcast a while ago. Instead of focusing on the catastrophic thoughts you just keep asking yourself “what if it all works out?” instead.

You’d think such a tiny thing would be absurd but it has worked wonders when I’m spiralling into dark thoughts. My family prompt me with it too when they see the dark clouds forming.

Mindovermatter247 · 02/01/2024 22:30

I’m of a very similar mindset. Dd11 has been Ill for the last 6 weeks, she recently had stomach problems but I suspect it’s all because of the same virus, I got it into my head she might have celiac disease, which I don’t want for her. She’s a massive foodie and it will floor her if she can’t eat the things she loves. So then it kept me up thinking about it and I only got about 3 hours sleep thinking about it, I was thinking about for the first 3 hours at work. Stuff like that alway consumes me, I try to not let it. But it always wins. I’m okay now because I realised if it was celiac disease she would have had stomach pains throughout the whole illness as we have gluten in most things.
id love to know remedies to help.