I think I just need a rant to get this off my chest really.
We have a difficult relationship with my DH parents. They have never been very supportive of DH or our family. They live about an hour away as still young enough to drive and travel all over the UK for their hobby but we rarely see them. Only if we go to them, when the kids where little (kids are older now DD16 and DS13), we would invite them to come to us but half the time they would cancel with little notice. Which was a pain as having got everything ready was a pain and did upset the kids. So we just went sort of went low contact and didn't see them much. This seems to have been fine. At lest we sour them some of the time and everyone seemed happy.
I now feel really upset with them as they forgot both DS and my birthday in November. I'll just point out they don't have any other grandchildren so not like a big family. I've spoken to MIL once since as I reminded her about DS birthday, didn't bother about mine. She was all apologies and acted nice and happy. Hadn't actually seen them since June when it was DH birthday. They are always like this when we actually see them and MIL always says we should se you more often but they never do.
I'm just a bit fed-up of putting on a happy front when we do see them. The kids are totally not bothered about seeing them at all as have no real relationship with them. And as teenagers have their own stuff happening a lot.
This would be all fine if it weren't for the fact that DH is talking about wanting to see them more often. They are getting older (although still 6 years younger then my Dad and he is capable of driving 4 hours to come see us). I just don't want to make the effort as they can't be bothered and I just feel more irriated everytime I see them.
I think I'm feeling more upset then normal as we had new years day with them. We had ordered Chinese to share but they where so grabby with the food that they had filled their plates before I even sat down to the table and I didn't get what I ordered. I did point it out at the time but SIL (who lives with inlaws) was determined it was her dish not mine and in the end I couldn't be bothered having a full blown argument over it.
MIL also knows she forgot my birthday has spoken to DH about it but hasn't bothered to apologise to me and I think it's made me over sensitive about the whole thing.
Another issue that concerns me is DH was really ill afew years ago and while they came down for one visit, that was it. They talk about helping but then never actually do and I don't want DH to stress himself trying to see them or help them out when they haven't been there for him. But he still wants to see them.
Thanks for letting me get that out. And well done if you read the whole thing.