How affectionate are your dc?

[bigyellowTpot]

Was with a friend today who has 2 dc the same ages as my 2 dc's ages 15 and 11. what I noticed was how much more affection her dc were towards her than what my 2 are with me and I actually found it quite upsetting to be honest when I saw the difference. my 2 recoil at hugs and kisses and have always been that way apart from dc 1 as a tiny baby she now goes rigid when hugged and definitely will not put her arms around us to hug back. they are both NT but just hate my hugs and kisses but they will hug their grandmother. friends dc had arms around their mum planting kisses on her cheeks just for the sake of it. Anyone else with dc that hate hugs & kisses and any affection?

No, but they are primary age so probably not the same thing. We have always been a cuddly family though- the babies napped on our shoulders, we co-sleeped so they were just used to it I think.

Teenagers being cuddly is unusual though! It's a natural time for children to move away from cuddles as they become independent and start dating etc. I wouldn't expect they will change now, but you'll likely get a few once they have their first heartbreaks.

Everyone is different. Some people like affection and some don't, and it's okay that we're not all the same.
My three children are all different. I love hugs, but my eldest hates them and I respect that.

It does sound very unusual for dc if that age to be so affectionate, especially in public.

I have a 9yo who has always been mega affectionate and I dread but fully expect this to gradually reduce as she approaches teenage years, especially in public.

I'm the non hugger in our family.
I have tried very hard not to pass it on.
DC1 is okay with a quick goodbye hug.
DC2 needs hugs. And gets them from me whenever needed
DC3 is in-between. Sometimes needs sometimes hates.

I think it's personalised.

DC1 would be horrified if hugged all the time and would step back from the occasional contact.
DC2 would be hugged all day!
DC3 is just fickle.
Everything on their own terms!

DTwins are 4.

Boy twin, unprompted tells me about ten times a day, "I luff yooooo mama" and kisses my knees if I'm sitting down. Cuddles constantly.

Girl twin tells me about once every three months and only wants cuddles if she's fallen over.

Teen DS doesn't even like me most days

Fucking velcro, (love it really!) 6 yo hugs constantly, baby is basically a koala

I hate hugging - find it awkward and cringey but have tried not to pass this onto dd 12 - she can take or leave hugs

12 & 9 DSs are super affectionate - always asking for hugs, cuddles and say I love you a lot.
I'm aware it may not last much longer with 12 as he approaches puberty so making the most of it!

DS 10 will come and cuddle up on the sofa with a blanket on an evening with me or his mam.

At bedtime he'll insist on "a kiss", which is basically him bowing his head and getting a kiss on top. I'll tell him I love him as I tuck him in, and he'll say it back.

And that's about it. Outside of this evening/night time routine it's very rare he'll offer as much as a hug.