Hi all, I have three children. With my eldest I had a very bad delivery and ended up being diagnosed with PTSD and had counselling which helped. I did not think I had PND as I loved her so much and was a bit crazy - always worried that a mild cold was sepsis etc. when my second was born it was a different experience and all good. When my third was born, delivery was good - nice experience and I was comfortable being a mother. I did however find that I did not really feel very much and almost went through the motions. I would never have let any harm come to DC so I just felt really guilty. I have never discussed this with anyone as I was ashamed but I did eventually find that complete love when DC was over 1 year old. My older DC complain that I favour this youngest DC, however it’s because I am trying to make up and compensate for my failure to feel at the beginning. I have never been able to talk to anyone about this but recently read an article on PND and wondered if anyone felt that this could have been the issue? I always thought PND was when you did not love your baby and wanted to harm them, as mentioned earlier I would never have harmed DC, I was more ambivalent and disengaged- very different to eldest two. Sorry if rambled on, I’m just keen to know as in hindsight maybe I did have mild PND.