How did you forgive yourself for losing something of sentimental value?

[Cannaa89]

I've lost a bracelet that DH gave me for my first mother's day. I am devastated. Pretty sure it was lost on a country walk, have retraced steps but no sign of it.

I put it on and take it off in the same place every day and when I went to take it off yesterday it wasn't there. It may have broken off. Have posted photos on Facebook group and have reported to police.

There is a small chance our toddler has taken it out of its storage and put it somewhere, but I am pretty certain I had it on for that walk. Going to go through the house thoroughly when I get a chance.

It is the most money my DH has ever spent on a gift (£500) and it is a beautiful bracelet from an independent jeweler which he put a lot of thought into. He is very annoyed with me. I barely slept last night and have been tearful on and off today. I just need to hear other people's experiences so I know I will be able to move on and forgive myself.

Tia

Metal detector and a long walk retracing your steps again without dc.. Thoroughly look through your coat /jumper /gloves... Once lost a necklace and found it down the leg of my jeans days later... Did you drive there initially? Look in the car. In dc's buggy and clothes. Laundry basket...

Ask on Facebook for a local metal detector. They're more common then you think. They'll search the area you walked.

These things happen. Can you find one the same and replace it?

Lost my dead granny's ring but consoled myself that it is just a thing. Hasn't erased any of my memories of her. Hope you find it op.

You've worn it and enjoyed it. You could have left it in a box and still have it, but you wouldn't have got nearly the same pleasure from it. I do hope you find it though.

Would it be covered by your home insurance so you can replace it?

The only thing that really helps me is time... it passes and you'll still be angry with yourself but it won't hurt as much. I hope you find it!

If it was just sentimental value I'd get over it because I'm not much of a 'stuff' person.

But this is actual financial value! I don't know what else you can do except try very very hard to find it.

Jewellery is supposed to be worn, and with that comes the risk it could be lost.

Your dh needs to get over himself. It's not like you threw it away. Is it insured? Have you checked your clothes/shoes thoroughly? My necklace broke the other day on a walk, when i got undressed the same night the pendant dropped out from my clothes.

I think it's incredibly unfair that he is 'very annoyed' with you. You weren't careless with it? It's clearly fallen from your wrist for whatever reason. These things happen.

I'm sorry you lost your precious bracelet though.

I lost my engagement ring. It's just one of those things. I felt bad for a bit but it wasn't my fault. I ended up just buying myself a replacement.

My great grandmas ring went down the linen chute when I was a student nurse and I never saw it again. I shouldn't have been wearing it at work anyway.
Still think about thirty years on but never told my GM who gave it me.

Having had two primary cancers in four years, my reaction is nobody died.

Your DH needs to take a long hard look at himself.

Even at our most broke DH or I would never have carried on like that.

Honestly I would be questioning my relationship with him.

That is devastating. Your husband shouldn't be a mean jackass about it, though. I hope you find it.

I had a book called "Santa Mouse" that my mother gave me as a child, and had written a nice inscription in it. Probably 1969 or 1970. A few years ago I saw reproductions of the book and bought several.

A neighbor did me a favour and on impulse I grabbed one of the reproductions and gave it to him, as it was Christmastime, for his two little boys.

A week or so later I realized the mistake and my blood literally ran cold. I called the neighbor, sounding unhinged no doubt, and asked if I could trade them a reproduction for the original. To my horror he had a look around and couldn't find it. I think the wife, who hates clutter (and secondhand stuff) probably offloaded it right away to a charity shop. I still can't think about it without feeling sick. My sister felt bad too; she has since adopted the mindset that "it's out in the universe somewhere making people smile..." but that is cold comfort.

A friend invited some distant cousins to her home to try to generate closer relationships in their family; she had a big BBQ and really hosted them nicely. The next day she saw that her grandmother's diamond ring, which she (stupidly) left on a ring holder on a shelf in the bathroom, was gone. She's very organized so it definitely was on that holder. Her grandma was long dead and that was one of her only mementos of a very close bond. She was so upset and one feels so helpless; there's not much to do in that case.

I try to be less attached to my things these days. It's difficult. Good luck re your bracelet.

@LaurieStrode oh no so sorry that you lost your precious book.

Thank you, @SpringSparrow

Yes, I am 60 now and you wouldn't think it would sting but that book was part of our family Christmas Eve ritual and losing it is grim. I still have a reproduction but it's not the same.

I hope OP gets her bracelet back.

Lost my mother's wedding ring, that I've worn since she died. Still really upset about it a couple of years later.

Just to reinforce the idea to ask for a metal detector. We have one in the garage we'd loan out and I know at least a dozen others in the village with one.

Anyone with one is just dying to use it for any reason (), so offer teas and coffees and biscuits and invite people to come and search?

If you have photos and home insurance you should be able to get it replaced. I'm not sure why you called the police.

Thank you so much everyone for the solidarity and for sharing your painful experiences. I can't imagine how devastating it would be to lose something of someone who passed away. I am so sorry about your book @LaurieStrode.

I really like what you said @Girlsjustwannahavefundamentalrights about how jewelry is made to be worn though. So true.

I will look into the metal detector idea, so clever!

Good point re. Home insurance, though would my premium not go up? I'm quite young so have a few years yet of paying insurance and wonder if I'd break even just spending the money on a replacement myself? I have found a few that are very similar for slightly less than he paid.

@quarrelmerchant I reported it as missing property to the police so that they can contact me if it is handed in.

Yes DH has been a pain about it and his reaction made me feel so much worse, but he is a catastrophiser (like me) and takes things very personally. He's still a bit disappointed but much better about it now. @ComfortableAtLastTookLongEnough I hope you have recovered from your cancers, sounds really scary and definitely puts it into perspective.

I had an horrendous first birth with my ds - I nearly died. I decided I wanted to buy something for myself to remember it/reward me/whatever.

So when he was about 3 months old I left him with his young uncles (a big first for me) and went with my lovely mother in law and she haggled for me to buy a piece of beautiful Victorian jewelery - a gold and amethyst brooch that was so lovely - and expensive. I wore it all the time to work and had such lovely memories of buying it with MIL/having coffee and chatting with her after/coming home to see lovely teen uncles minding my baby. It was a most precious piece.

And then one day my third child, then a baby, managed to unhook it from my sweater without me noticing (because I was wrangling 3 small children out of daycare into the car) and that was it ... gone.

Nothing in my life has changed as a result. I still have all the memories and the way I look at it now is I hope someone found it and it brought them joy.

The same third child managed to also lose a bracelet my FIL gave me unexpectedly after a trip to the middle east. She has a gift that one.

I know the cost of it matters and it is a loss. But these are only things. The memories of how they were given and how they make you feel still endure.

Bit woo but years ago a relative bought me some hand painted earrings. Little black and white dcat sat down . Black enamelled background. 1 got knocked off the bench and sadly swept up whilst cleaning the litter tray.. Had no ideas about delving into the bin bag..
Few months later both earrings were there in my jewellery box.. Don't give up hope on it turning up op.

I lost a £££ sentimental necklace years ago. Since watching Detectorists, I like to think I’m like the people from hundreds of years ago portrayed in the show, whose jewels and treasures ended up in the earth in various circumstances, never to be seen again by them BUT to be discovered centuries later by strangers and bring immense joy to them and connect the two worlds. Might not be your thing but it helps me feel slightly better about it.

Can you claim on house insurance? If so maybe you could get a similar replacement one. Metal detectors are a good idea. Put lost notice on local FB group and offer a reward for safe return. Does your DH know you are tearful about losing it? He should be comforting you not getting angry with you. I know a man who lost his wedding ring on honeymoon. He was in the cold water and it fell off in the water whilst he was swimming. He was in the sea ages trying to find it. His wife just said well get an identical one and ask vicar to bless it before you wear it.

We were burgled in the early 90's I still grieve for a ring and bracelet my grandmother gave me as well as other pieces. So now I wear stuff and have a safe for the rest.