Breaking up with a friend

[ReadyForSeason]

We have been friends for over 10 years, though we do not have much in common. She always takes initiative organising our meet ups and I just go along, couple of times a year. Over the last few years, these dates have turned into a very negative experience - my friend simply moans about her husband, family, work, state of the world in general. I feel like a sick bowl for her word vomit. She has complained to me about several other mates who have been avoiding her and then the penny dropped for me, I need to do the same.

I have never deliberately broken up a friendship - do I just ghost her or actually say something? Also I have sent her Save the Date card for my wedding over a year ago, it’s a long engagement and the wedding is next Autumn. She has already booked the room for the wedding, even without a proper invitation, so I feel like I am stuck in this relationship for almost another year. I actually do not mind her presence at the wedding as I will not really have to spend much time with her. Just a bit messy really.

Have you raised the issue with her. Clearly you had enough in common to invite her to your wedding? Is she going through difficult times. Maybe something along the lines of “is everything ok because the last time we spoke you seemed to be in a very negative place.”

or tried changing the subject “hey that’s awful but how about we focus on something happier”

I'd wait until after the wedding before you dump her

Have a chat with her that your meet up was her being incredibly negative, is she planning to change something to improve things or does she just want to moan?

If she has a tantrum and ends the friendship then the problem is solved that way.

She sounds depressed.

Everyone’s being a bit harsh.

She’s obviously feeling down and wants to talk to someone.

Maybe you could listen and try to help her, like an actual friend, rather than deciding that she’s not for you just because she isn’t being fun at the moment.

Obviously you are within your rights to end a friendship for any reason, but let’s not make out this one is on her.

So she’s not done anything to hurt you and she does actually make the effort to meet up with you and want to see you? And she’s clearly not very happy at the moment as she’s being negative. And instead of being a supportive friend, you wait for her to initiate meet ups, and now you want to dump her. Charming.

If you literally only see this person a couple of times a year anyway, can you not just put up with the meet ups?

Next time she suggests meeting go and see a film or something more positive - less time for talking too