What age do you think is too old to become a first time dad?

[Pianodiano]

I know men can biologically be a lot older than women but wondering about ethics/energy levels/time spent with child, plus any increased risks not sure if there are any.

Simply curious because people often talk about women but not men!

My parents had me in their 20s and I never had one full set of grandparents. I did ok!

I would say early to mid 40s. But I have seen some absolutely shite older dads that had their first DC after the age of 45 and are pretty hands off. One of them said to me privately in the past that he shouldn't have had children as he's knackered and was too set in his ways by his mid 40s.

That is of course a massive generalisation but is my personal experience.

In my own mind, I think late 40s/50ish is the cut off point.

I'll give it to my BIL, he met his wife late in life and had his first child at 48, second at 51. He's always been physically fit and a hard worker, and he's showing no signs of slowing down in that regard. He gives his children lots of time taking to football, playing games, homework, on top of his share of housework and all cooking. He's very lucky, has had a well paid job for years, his wife doesn't need to work but choses to, so has a lot of money behind him - if he had to retire early through ill health, he's more than enough money to support his children and see them through (potential) uni.

DS' dad was 56 when ds was born. No medical issues.

He's always been a hands-off dad but that's just him, nothing to do with his age. Sees ds every week. They get on fine.

I taught ds to cycle, swim, ski, so he didn't miss out. Ex would have drilled his own teeth than do things like that, even in his 20s.

I'm strongly of the view that no dad is better than an abusive dad, but a reasonable dad is fine.

My husband was a very healthy 48 when we had our first and 51 when we had our second. He is a fabulous involved dad. He did a lot of living earlier in his life and we met quite late so it is just the way it was for us.

Anything after 45

I'm going to say 40. Some will think that's incredibly young but, given that men tend to be more selfish, set in their ways and grumpier than women, I think that's about right.

In my personal opinion (it may not be popular here) is that no one should be deliberately (note the deliberately) trying to become a first time parent beyond the age of 45. To be 60 before they even leave school? Many will disagree with me and that’s their prerogative.

It depends on how fit and healthy they are. My DH is 44 and we have a one year old but he's fitter than almost all the men I know in their 30's. There are definitely benefits to being an older dad, and vice versa, but I'd judge it on an individual basis.

First time dad 40. Father of a subsequent baby - 50.

My dh was 45 whwn dd ws born, he already had a 16 year old. He was paranoid about that so wouldn't have wanted to be much older

35 is cut of point imo for both men and women.
Everyone is different but i dont think i could have a child when im in my 40s.
Mind you a lot of mums and dads have babies now knocking on 50s.
I was laughed at because i had a child when i was 18.
My sister cracked every joke going and bullied me saying I'll have no life.
Fast forward 20 years she has a 2 year old now shes 48 and wants a free baby sitter every day her dream man babys dad left last year with OW and says he`s not cut out for being a dad at his age.
She has told me straight out she wished she had the baby years ago when she was younger.

My dad was 40 when I was born.
We didn't have much of a relationship, if I'm honest.
Apparently, as a child, my mum had to keep shushing me as he worked shifts.
If other adults came round I had to be quiet ... broke my mum's heart.

He couldn't relate to my play at all and had very little patience.

Why do you believe that was an age thing rather than a result of your Dad's character?

I’m not sure really. I felt, as a child, that I needed to be more grown up.

I have since known a family where dad was more than forty years older. My friend was his wife.
He too was intolerant to his child … be seen but not heard.

I do think age has a bearing but I fully appreciate that people are as old as they feel.
Have also seen too many grumpy youngish grandparents on the school run that confirms my experience.

50

Personally, mid 40s.

I really dislike these threads. They pop up way too regularly and are full of people who've been lucky to meet their partner young who happily chastise anyone who thinks having a baby over 35 is a good idea.

In answer to OPs question: it's really up to the couple having the baby whether they think they're young/old/rich/stable enough to have a baby.

Why would anyone begrudge any couple the joy of having a baby?

My Dad was 43 when I was born (I'm the youngest in the family). I'm in my 50s now. I never noticed as a child that I had an older dad, although I'm sure other people did. He was full of energy and died recently in his 90s having had a very good life. I recognise that I had him for longer than people with younger dads. I also have a friend who recently became a father aged 53. He's wanted to be a dad for years and like my Dad is full of energy. I think it just depends.

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn , I'm not chastising anyone. I know mothers who had their first child in their 40s and a father who didn't become a father until he was in his 50s. The children are healthy, happy and loved, and I'm delighted for the parents.

For men, 30-50. Late 20s is so young for men, I'd think them a bit immature.
For women 25-40/45 depending on health.

I had one grandparent growing up. My other grandparents died young before my parents were in their 20s. Did me no harm and I never felt like I was missing out, and I certainly didn’t feel I should be pitied.