Is it evil to suggest 11 year old pays half new trainers from Christmas money?

[tooneedyme]

DS got some gift vouchers and money for Christmas. He never knows what to spend his money on other than Robux or soft toys . He already got Robux at Christmas as a gift and spent his vouchers on soft toys. He goes through alot of trainers and with his age is starting to want the more expensive versions. I say a pair in the Nike sale and showed him them. He liked them until I said I would pay half and he could pay half then he looked at me in horror! Earlier we had been in the Nike outlet and I had bought him a new pair of football boots in the sale so it isn't like I never buy anything for him but now wonder if it's cruel to ask him to pay half. My reasoning was that we wouldn't normally spend so much on a pair of trainers so it was a compromise getting cool ones and paying a bit to them.

That's a terrible idea @tooneedyme Don't make him use his own money!

So, he needs a new pair of trainers.

Have a look online, pick a pair at a price you’re willing to pay for (in full) and show them to him. Tell him he can have these for £X or he can pick a more trendy pair in the sale and you’ll pay £X towards them and he can use his Christmas money to cover the rest.

Understandable if he was pestering you for trainers outwith your budget. Not if you pick them, you lunatic!

Off to Decathlon.

You need to provide shoes. You also have a budget. Older children and teens start caring more about style.

You can offer him concrete choices. Shoe X fits your budget, is good quality, and fits well. Shoe Y does not fit your budget, but you have signed off on it being decent quality and fit. If he wants shoe Y that is outside of the family budget, he needs to pay the extra amount. shoe z does not fit the budget and/or is poor quality. If he wants shoe z, he has to buy it himself.

Are people completely missing that the OP found the trainers and showed him, he didn't go to his parent and ask for them.

No.

Many people have mentioned it

Depends if he actually wants the trainers. If he wants to spend his Christmas money on something else, that's that. You can get him some cheaper trainers that are within your budget.

I would encourage him to pay something towards the boots as they are a luxury and he may not resent it as much as putting shoes on his feet.

I wouldn't expect DS to buy his own trainers if he needs trainers and they are reasonably priced, which as they're in the sale it's likely.
If he wanted limited edition, fancy ones just because he liked them they'd likely be a present or he could pay towards them from Christmas money, but not at eleven and not for sale trainers in guessing he needs or you wouldn't be looking

My mother made me do this as a child. It's not a nice memory

When ds was younger I would tell him he could choose trainers for up to £xxx, but any more than that he would need to put money towards (not always the entire difference if he was a little short, but most of it)

£xxx would be enough for a decent reasonably priced branded pair at the time, but not the ridiculously high priced ones.

i have an 11& 13 Yr old. My budget is around 50 for trainers - if they want dearer ones then they use vouchers or birthday money etc.
I don’t think it’s that unusual (am obvs in the minority tho looking at responses). kids are happy and they value them more when they contribute.

If my child needed new trainers I would pay for them within my budget but if he already had some perfectly suitable ones and asked for a new pair then he would have to pay. If he had money and no idea what to spend it on I would encourage to save until there is something he really wants and is appropriate.

Now show him trainers for half the price and say you'll pay for all of them. You might find he doesn't give a shit about labels after all!

Does he want those trainers?

When I was a teen and I needed new trainers or jeans etc my mum would pick a pair and if the ones I wanted were dearer I had to pay the difference. I don't think there was anything wrong with that.

This

Hmm. I think if they're a necessity you say, well this is what I'm happy and able to spend, that'll buy a pair of x/y/z but if you want air jordans, or something else that's that bit more expensive, you need to see that's out of my budget and you can top it up or have what I'm able to afford.

But otherwise, no children shouldn't be paying for their necessities.

Yabu