Who chooses family holiday with older DC?

[AboutYesterday]

We have 2 DC, who this summer will be 16 and 20. The oldest is in his 2nd year at University.

If we can’t all agree on where to go for a family holiday, should we just shelve the idea of a holiday completely? I can’t find anything in budget that we are all happy with. We had a great week away last summer and it was in budget as long as we were careful. We all enjoyed it but they don’t want to go back to the same place and I can’t find anywhere else as good for the price. We would be paying for the holiday. We can only afford one week away per year and that’s by saving hard and lots of research on prices/locations/offers.

Should we choose or should it be their choice? Or, if we can’t agree, is it best to save the money and just make the most of summer at home? It’s no longer feeling like much of a joy yet I’d love a week in the sun.

This sounds miserable. You are not obligated to take your 20 year old and I would tell the 16 year old that next year you will be having a holiday that is child free!

The people paying chose.

We gave 4 options of places and let them choose between them.
If they didn't want any then they went to Granny's house

When my DC were the same age and had different 'wants' for a holiday we did what someone upthread suggested We went to Salou. Had a bus trip day out to Tarragona which was a lovely historical site, and DC1's kind of thing. Then a day and an evening in the theme park which was DD2's favourite bit. And the rest of the time we chilled by the pool and walked along the prom enjoying the rest and the sun my choice).

I like your holiday choices @ZenNudist . We did a few similar when DS was tweens/early teens .

I don't think that's fair or reasonable.

Well of course you should tailor your holiday to under 10s! Because if they're happy and not whingeing then it makes your holiday more relaxing. But it's a bit more of a grey area when your kids are Inbetweeeners. 😆

DC and I like sun and a pool so we've done that in a variety of places over the years, always discussed and agreed beforehand - Portugal, France, Greece, Italy, Florida, Mexico. DH moaned last year that it was too hot so we let him choose unilaterally for 2024 and now we are going to Scotland 😂

DC are 20 and 18 and so far have always been grateful for the free holiday. They do other trips with friends which they pay for.

Yeah, I think we will pay for our kids until they are completely independent and in FT jobs and they are grateful. We are fortunate that we can afford to offer to pay for them to come with us. And young adults often bring an enthusiasm and zest for life for some things that might be a bit out your comfort zone. eg we let our DC pick nearly all the restaurants when we went to the US and they picked some places I really wouldn't have thought of/wanted and they ended up being some of the most memorable places. They'd also nudge me to have a go at some things I may normally be a bit unsure of. I find young adults to be good travelling companions. But once they start getting too annoying or being ungrateful or taking advantage of your generosity or whatever then that would be it - no holiday invitation next year!

Away right now with 20 & 17 and it's 100% our choice they come!

For budget have you thought about south of France like a camping, driving trip along the coast? Nice, Antibes and Monaco are beautiful and you'll have lots of accommodation choices, lovely weather and great food. And cheap flights if anyone wants to fly home.

Totally diff dynamic.
All our hols were child led when they were under 10.
It's v different when they teens.
Needs change. Teens can be fantastic company on hols but they need managing somewhat. Even if they don't know it.
Taking them somewhere they will be moaning is a waste of time and money.
But a holiday that works, well it can be so much more. Time spent with them at that stage can be invaluable I found.
It's worth it if u can make it work.

Where did you go?

Me?