BF became Grandma estranged?

[Jinglebellrocked]

My best friend of 20 years has just became a grandma, she is estranged from daughter currently. Daughter is in a controlling relationship and contact with BF has dwindled and dwindled with allegations been thrown from daughters husband towards her.

any idea how I can support her through this? I’m just hopeless in this sort of situation and feel I don’t have the words and do I get her a card and a gift with conglomerate becoming a grandma or will this upset more. Anyone been in this situation with any wise words? 😭😭

Anyone?

I’d go give her a hug and let her talk.

You can’t walk the road of estrangement for another. But it is a horribly lonely path. Somebody who shows up and plods along with you from time to time can be a welcome relief from the thoughts swirling around inside your head.

It’s absolutely heartbreaking and she only knows that she is a granny via social media. No one has officially told her.

If you want to get her something, I’d go with a bunch of flowers and a generic card (nothing related to babies or grandparents) telling her you love her and you’ll always be there for her. She’s probably going to have all sorts of emotions going on and any sort of ‘congratulations’ seems a bit inappropriate.

I'm not sure congratulations is really appropriate.

Just be there for her tk chat to or not.....

I’m so glad I asked you guys I would have got a card. I’m seeing her tonight and will do that. I guess there are no words but I can be there for her

I agree, some flowers and the offer of a listening ear. Maybe one day her daughter may be able to break away and have a life with her child, and mum/granny xx

I don’t think getting grandparents anything is ever really the done thing, is it? Just be a friend and give her space to talk about it. I’d also from time to time actually ask her about it to open up a conversation if she wants to talk.

My situation is the opposite. I am estranged from my mum because of her controlling relationship with a twisted man. Most of my closest friends do know the history and know we are no contact. But it’s old news now. No one ever asks me about it anymore. So on days when it would be totally normal to have your mum there, my mum is absent and it’s like the elephant in the room. No one mentions it anymore and it’s such a complicated situation (involving sexual abuse) that it feels inappropriate to blurt out anything about it, as feels like people would rather not discuss it.

I actually really appreciate it when people ask me how I’m doing or just say something to affirm that I’ve done the right thing. Most people don’t want to talk about sad stuff and it’s not that I want to talk about it constantly either, but it’s really nice to have my situation acknowledged and to feel like people care about how I’m doing or to feel seen when everyone else is having a lovely time with their happy families.