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Original poster

Some men permanently on OLD

11 replies

namesakes · 29/12/2023 23:02

I met this man on one of those apps. Went on a few dates, but it was unclear where it was heading so I let it cool off. On his profile, he said he was looking for a relationship, but on our dates he said he wasn't ready for a relationship but would just flirt for the sake of it.
A few years later, I'm back on the app, and he has saw my profile so decided to send me a text message to welcome me back to the app with lots of laughing emojis. I'm irritated by how an over 40 year old thinks going on an app is a joke (some people are genuinely serious about meeting someone). It's sad that he's maintained a permanent profile on the app like it is LinkedIn or something (I saw it and it's the same as I remember).
He's not the only one.
My last relationship fail from the app is also still on there with same profile from when I met them.
Is this a pattern with most of the men? They're not really looking for a relationship. Are they?

OP posts:
macaronicheezepleeze · 29/12/2023 23:20

namesakes · 29/12/2023 23:02

I met this man on one of those apps. Went on a few dates, but it was unclear where it was heading so I let it cool off. On his profile, he said he was looking for a relationship, but on our dates he said he wasn't ready for a relationship but would just flirt for the sake of it.
A few years later, I'm back on the app, and he has saw my profile so decided to send me a text message to welcome me back to the app with lots of laughing emojis. I'm irritated by how an over 40 year old thinks going on an app is a joke (some people are genuinely serious about meeting someone). It's sad that he's maintained a permanent profile on the app like it is LinkedIn or something (I saw it and it's the same as I remember).
He's not the only one.
My last relationship fail from the app is also still on there with same profile from when I met them.
Is this a pattern with most of the men? They're not really looking for a relationship. Are they?

Maybe they're on OLD to have casual relationships.

But they're back on the app and you're back on the app. What's the difference?

AmazingDayz · 29/12/2023 23:28

Maybe he is bored? Maybe just wants sex? It’s a free country

pastypirate · 29/12/2023 23:35

If I recall correctly from my old period this is a lifestyle choice for sone men though I doubt they start off intending it to be.

I can think of a few of these types. I imagine it's something about the dopamine hit from matches and messaging and initial meeting that isn't surpassed by a meaningful relationship. It's also an inductor of immaturity I think.

It's a strange habit but I imagine the same men just hung around pubs a couple of decades ago.

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General relationships
Original poster
namesakes · 30/12/2023 05:22

But their profile says things like they are new here and giving OLD a try as they lead busy lives, they have been single for a long time because they were building their carers and they are now looking for a relationship/ want to settle down as it feels like right time. They talk about how they've got it all and want to settle down and even say their pictures are recent etc.
But this is what was on their profile 3-4 years ago, including the photos.
It doesn't look to me like they ever got off the app.

OP posts:
Original poster
namesakes · 30/12/2023 05:23

It's a free world I understand

OP posts:
Original poster
namesakes · 30/12/2023 05:31

AmazingDayz · 29/12/2023 23:28

Maybe he is bored? Maybe just wants sex? It’s a free country

Yes, I was with the ex for two months. He ghosted me after sex, literally stopped picking my calls or responding to texts immediately after. That broke me. But I've just back on the app, and he's liked my profile again.

OP posts:
Original poster
namesakes · 30/12/2023 05:33

pastypirate · 29/12/2023 23:35

If I recall correctly from my old period this is a lifestyle choice for sone men though I doubt they start off intending it to be.

I can think of a few of these types. I imagine it's something about the dopamine hit from matches and messaging and initial meeting that isn't surpassed by a meaningful relationship. It's also an inductor of immaturity I think.

It's a strange habit but I imagine the same men just hung around pubs a couple of decades ago.

I think it's a strange habit for men in their late 40s.
The pub analogy puts it into perspective. Thank you.

OP posts:
Tonight1 · 30/12/2023 05:40

I don't think it's right to be misleading and pretend they want a relationship. Well they do, but a short term sex one!

HarlotBeans · 30/12/2023 05:48

I'd be tempted to reply saying at least I'm not still claiming to ve new here, 4 years later!

Original poster
namesakes · 30/12/2023 07:13

HarlotBeans · 30/12/2023 05:48

I'd be tempted to reply saying at least I'm not still claiming to ve new here, 4 years later!

I ignored his text as I was just irritated. Felt like he was making a mockery of me for being single still 😅

OP posts:
Catlord · 30/12/2023 09:19

It's fair enough if some just want to meet people casually indefinitely. I remember a lot of timewasters though who would say they definitely wanted relationships etc etc and date you for a bit only revealing in slower time (after sex) that was never their intention. Transparency is the main thing.

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