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Original poster

Is it rude to ask to change sizes (kids clothing)

18 replies

DidILetHerDown · 28/12/2023 21:12

I have a child who due to serious illness (amongst other factors) is absolutely tiny for his age.

It's not exactly a secret, everyone knows and sees that he is small, has hospital monitoring of his growth, is on prescribed calorie supplements etc.

Relationship with one set of grandparents is quite tense and distant. Grandad sees him a few times a year for a few hours, though it's kept in the loop on life, medical stuff, is active on fb etc. His wife buys the gifts etc but chooses not to be part of step grandchild's life.

Grandad gives Christmas gifts - child is polite, thanks profusely etc. 2 of the gifts are clothing, in age appropriate, but not size appropriate size.

No big deal (and I totally get they probably didn't realise a tiny size was needed) but we ask if they can let us know where they are from (is not obvious) to switch size, as grandson won't be in then for about 4 years based on growth so far in life. Step-grandmother refuses to say, on the basis that 'he can grow into them'.

I'll sell them on and let him pick something that fits with the money, so it's no big deal really really, but I'm a bit sad that someone would rather a child has to wait 4 YEARS to use a present, than simply allow us to change the size.

Or was I rude to ask? I've never asked anyone before because people rarely buy him clothes, or ask the size, or give me the receipt and tell me to change it if necessary.

I probably shouldn't have poked the bear really. It's not a big deal compared to some of the other history in the matter but it irked me

OP posts:

voxnihili · 28/12/2023 21:18

I don’t think it’s rude. My DD often gets bought the wrong size as she’s tall but slim and I’ve had to change stuff. I’ve always needed a bigger size though so it can’t be kept to grow into. Can understand why you wouldn’t want to keep stuff though until he’s grown into it as he might be into different stuff. If it’s likely to cause bad feeling though I’d just sell on and buy the right size with the proceeds.

Talipesmum · 28/12/2023 21:19

Not at all rude, and they’re being weird.

Mylovelygreendress · 28/12/2023 21:20

Could the clothes have been bought out of a charity shop or off Vinted ?

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PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 28/12/2023 21:21

Definitely not rude!

raspberrybeeret · 28/12/2023 21:21

If they don't have labels or any packaging perhaps they've brought second hand and can't be returned? Most standard shops will swap sizes with no receipt if you explain it's a Xmas present I think?

Original poster

DidILetHerDown · 28/12/2023 21:37

They are in original packaging, but pretty illusive as to where they came from.

A pack of pants, which I've now worked out are from B&M because it gives their name in small print by the barcode on the back. The PJs are on a hanger that gives anything away, and the brand doesn't come up on a Google search.

As it is, I doubt he'd be keen on wearing them in 4 years time - they are very much in the style for 4 year olds, but he'd be 8.

I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. But I was simultaneously miffed at their attitude, but also wondering if it was me that's the problem and I was rude.

OP posts:

chompargh · 28/12/2023 21:39

It's probably because they feel embarrassed at where they bought them for some misguided reason. I'd just note not to ask again and sell them on.

Fannysmygranny · 28/12/2023 23:41

Underwear often can't be returned. I personally think a receipt should always be given when buying others clothes, but if you have asked and they have said no they are the ones being rude (or that they have bought non returnable items)

AmazingDayz · 28/12/2023 23:47

I’d have just packed them away till they fit tbh 🤷‍♀️

EvesamtsirhC · 28/12/2023 23:54

My personal experience of asking to change sizes is met with hostility from some of my family members. They seem to take it very personally that they've got something wrong. Perhaps this is a similar thing? I've learnt not to bother asking now, I don't do drama!

Keep the clothing if you think it will be used, if not, sell or donate to charity.

Fannysmygranny · 29/12/2023 08:58

I think they sound mean and unthoughtfull tbh

Onthegrid · 29/12/2023 14:25

Totally odd, I try to buy size appropriate clothes having had a DC that was always at least 1 size up her whole childhood and having a premature niece who is still tiny at 8. I am happy to take back my presents and get alternative sizes, it is part of giving as far as I am concerned, I also will return other gifts if they are a duplicate. I am an auntie to many all much younger than my DC, not a granny maybe that makes me more flexible

Fannysmygranny · 29/12/2023 14:45

I can see how it could seem insensitive to by clothes for a child who is far away from the 'correct age size' too. A 4 year old doesn't want to be seen as wearing toddler sized clothes..same as an 8 year old wouldn't want to grow in to a 4 year old style. Its also a dilemma whether to 'insult an adult' by guessing their size, so if you really need to buy them clothes buy smaller and include the receipt willingly. Hopefully Ops son had some appropriate presents from his gp to open on Christmas day apart from pants that were far too big..poor kid

AyrshireTryer · 29/12/2023 14:47

Can you show us a photo of the label? - we might be able to work it out.

Catsandcuddles · 29/12/2023 15:04

This is very odd, I don't understand why anyone would be offended about getting the size wrong and be cross that you have asked to swap for a smaller size. It isn't like you are asking to change the item for something else as you/your chil doesnt like it, you are just asking to get a smaller size that can use now.

Then there is the issue of storage, as you would have to find somewhere to keep the clothes for a few years and by the time they fit him, they might be too young in style anyway! A waste of money.

I'd just politely ask them, next time if they want to buy him clothes can they check with you first what age they should buy. If they refuse to listen to you and continue to buy stuff that is massive, then just sell them on and don't feel guilty about it

Pineapplewaves · 29/12/2023 15:06

Maybe they bought the items earlier in the year, in the January sales 2023 or in the July sales, in which case they wouldn't be able to be returned. Maybe they are too embarrassed to say that they bought the items a long time ago or in the sale.

Personally I'd just keep them until they will fit, even if it is four years!

BertieBotts · 29/12/2023 15:31

What does the label say? I bet someone on MN will recognise it.

I don't think it's rude, but I think some people say they want to change the size as an excuse to take things back and buy a different style, maybe they think you want to do that.

I would rather get too big than too small, but 4 sizes too small is too much. I don't mind putting stuff away for 6-12 months until it's grown into.

Next time there is a birthday or Christmas I would send a message saying "Just measured DS and he is currently wearing size X" or "DS is just about to move into size X if you were planning to get any clothes for Christmas".

BertieBotts · 29/12/2023 15:35

Personally I'd just keep them until they will fit, even if it is four years!

I guess this is fine unless it is for example Fireman Sam or Paw Patrol themed - in which case DC will probably have lost interest in those things before they get a chance to wear the clothes, which seems a shame.

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