Why do hospital consultants/my GP ask if I live alone?

[BrassCandlestick]

I have a few medical conditions and some injuries which combined, mean that I am facing a serious procedure and/or disability.
I realise that I've been asked quite a few times by medical professionals if I live alone.
I'm single; my adult son lives with me at the moment but he won't be with me forever.
Is the question so they can assess whether I'll be able to cope at home on my own? Tbh the whole thing makes me feel like crying because I've been told that the operation I will be having at some point will take up to a year for me to fully recover. I just don't know what I will do.

Because if you live with someone they know you will have support and someone to make sure you are okay, and you may be able to go home quicker. Obviously if you live alone you don't have these things and so may need to stay in hospital longer and / or need a care package on discharge.

Read Henry Marsh's book ( Do no Harm ), in 1st few chapters, where he tells anecdote about telling students in an MDT that the most important info about a patient is that patient lives alone. It has to do with support while managing a chronic or challenging illness.

If they know somebody lives with you, they’ll assume that person can keep an eye on you, check you have enough food/medicine/get groceries etc.

So they can discharge you sooner and not need to arrange so much home support.

So if your son will do all that stuff, happy days! But if you can’t rely on him to do that (for any reason) then you need to tell them that you don’t have help at home.

Plenty of ppl who live alone can organise home deliveries of groceries or stuff from Amazon. A bit intrusive question imo?

I’ve a few hospital visits where they ask this, and they also put it in their report to the GP. It’s to assess how much support you have - will you have help getting in and out of bed, getting to the bathroom, up and downstairs, cooking and cleaning, etc?

Seriously?

you can’t imagine a situation where someone with say, mobility issues after a surgery falls and ends up on the floor for days because no one has popped in to check.

it isn’t about whether Tesco can deliver — the hospital has a duty of care not to send someone home alone if they will need help. Care will have to be organised before they can be discharged.

When the time comes OP, you can ask to be referred to an occupational therapist (or questions such as these might prompt staff to highlight you as someone who may require extra support).
An OT will help work out what tasks may be difficult and advise on alternative ways to do things /rehab/ organise support. The emphasis is in trying to make you as independent as you can be, it's quite a rarity that someone will have a person with them 24/7. This is usually done in hospital if you are having surgery.

If you already have difficulties due to your health/injuries, you can refer yourself to an OT in the local council dept (social services) as maybe you need support before your surgery.

@Mum2jenny bit what if they collapse? Or have trouble moving around the house or can't answer the door to Amazon. It's to assess your needs, and if someone will notice if you have any issues after you're released.

Thank you, that's really interesting. I think I just feel doomy about it as I'm facing a severe loss of earnings (I'm freelance and my work requires me to travel) as well as not being able to get myself to the toilet or shower.

Yes, it's to see if you will have help.

I've had a few surgeries and I'm always asked do I live with anyone? Any children, and how old? And crucially, from one nurse who I thought was very sensible - does the person who lives with me usually do housework and will they actually look after me or will they be expecting me to manage on my own while they bugger off down the pub. (paraphrasing!)

It's not just about getting a shopping delivery or similar - post abdominal surgery it was things like I wasn't allowed to lift anything, including a kettle, for 3 days. I had to have someone help me get from lying to sitting position, I couldn't drive for 6 weeks (and wouldn't have been fit to sit on a bus either), I needed help to step in and out of the bath, I was on oramorph and needed someone physically with me to make sure I didn't get high and do something spectacularly stupid while under the influence.

There are loads of basic procedures you can have done unless you have someone to collect you and stay with you overnight. They should explain all this when they refer you rather than let you get to the top of the list and then tell you you can't have the thing done. Very frustrating.

Not at all intrusive in the context of someone who is waiting for surgery or has multiple health conditions.

I had an operation last year, at a private hospital, and was asked all the same questions that NHS would ask during a pre-op assessment: do you live alone; do you have stairs; what post-op equipment have you got or will be getting; does the person you live with have care needs; will they be able to manage meal prep and cleaning until you are recovered etc.

No it's about safety. If someone has mobility problems after major surgery they may need some help. That's why they ask

I once had a minor injury and because I had disclosed that I live in a first floor flat, a physiotherapist or occupational therapist had to watch me climb and descend a flight of stairs before they would discharge me.

Surely it’s to check the level of care you’ll need post surgery. They need to check if someone will be there to look after you in the early days when you will need support. If not, then they will look to put a care package in place.

The Amazon delivery person is not going to pick you up if you fall, organise your pill regime, run up and down stairs with drinks, cook, clean and wash for you as you convalesce. Or walk your dog! Or 101 other things that people need help with post operatively, or when dealing with long term illness and treatment.

Yes, a lot of these tasks can be outsourced, at cost, if you are clear headed enough to arrange them, and affluent enough to afford them. Age of course, not everyone you live with will do these things, but much of the time, partners, spouses or adult children will be happy and able to help out.

Just my experience of supporting dm for the last 2 years of living between her and my house, fortunately less than a mile apart.

My dp was discharged from 24/7 care and support from the community nurses was meant to be in place. This was more than a week ago. Seen no support so far and not been contacted by anyone.

i work full time and there is no other support. So the question is pointless imo.

I’m a hospital consultant/ surgeon . It’s important to take a social history ( employment , mobility, support at home, lifestyle , stairs to climb etc) It’s also vital to find out who is important in someone’s life -the patient is not the only one affected) . At med school we were taught that ’ Is there anyone at home with you ?’ is a better question than ‘do you have a husband? ’ before the term partner was used so frequently. We often ask if the family / friend wishes to join them in consultations for support/ information and I want to know who to phone after surgery to let them know that their loved one is ok.

This question always made me smile - because I live with someone who (when I had a lot of major surgery) actually spent 6 days a week away working. So the conversation went “do you share living arrangements with someone?” Answer: “yes, but they are away all week for work, so essentially I’m alone.” Reply: “you’ll be fine, you have someone.” Next question: “do you have stairs?” Answer: “yes three steps and a solid 4ftx4ft steel hatch to push up and tilt and back to exit the boat.” Reply - listen to the wind sweep across the dust bowl followed by “only 3 steps will be fine.”
Talk about only hearing what you want to hear!
But it was fine (luckily) - improvisation and making do as it was in the days before internet/email/WhatsApp etc.

Thanks for that- saved me typing exact same thing

What type of support does DP require?

And plenty can’t do that, if you are assertive enough to say you are fine and can sort yourself out then say that, the trouble is lots of people who won’t be alright won’t be assertive enough to ask for help if it’s other way round

Social history is part of taking a thorough medical history.

Sometimes, especially with older people they can embellish what they can actually do for themselves and its the person living with them that can paint a truer picture. My friends dad was asked can he make it up the stairs...yes no bother. His dd interrupted to remind him he had a stair lift!

That involves being able to carry in the food, prepare the food, shower unassisted, walk unassisted, potentially use stairs unassisted, be able to bend to access the freezer, able to do basic cleaning, clear up a dropped/broken glass safely, so on.
There's a lot more to living safely than ordering online.