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Original poster

Do you know a nasty toxic individual who has nothing nice to say about anything?

32 replies

MrsNandortheRelentless · 27/12/2023 20:43

Because I have a relative who is like this but never in my life have I met any other person like this.
Thank god.

I have had to endure a week of this person and I can feel my blood pressure being through the roof with enduring their nasty toxic personality.

Can you describe the person you know and can you maybe explain why you think they are like this?

OP posts:
WhereTheSpiritMeetsTheBones · 27/12/2023 21:02

My ex
Bitter, insecure narcissist who felt so badly about himself he wanted to project that onto everything else.
Hope you can recover away from this person OP!

LakeTiticaca · 27/12/2023 21:08

Ex husband. Only happy when he was making others lives a misery .
Best days work I ever did getting rid of him

daisychain01 · 27/12/2023 21:13

Can you describe the person you know and can you maybe explain why you think they are like this?

so you want us to bitch about someone, talk about all the horrible things they say and micro-analyse why they act that way. Hmm really? Kinda double standards.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health
Original poster
MrsNandortheRelentless · 27/12/2023 21:26

In conversation chatting about what other family members are up to these days, their exciting plans for the next year and how their kids are getting on. But all of this twisted round to how fat they have got, how they are “thick as fuck” or complete pricks… every single person.

I don’t know why they are like this, I cannot understand how this is ok in their heads to go on and on and on about what they think of the person.

To add, they genuinely do not give a toss if they are offensive or if they upset whoever they are talking to or talking about. Do not care one tiny bit at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsNandortheRelentless · 27/12/2023 21:34

Are you one daisy?

OP posts:
thecrispfiend · 27/12/2023 21:36

Yes, a close family member is like this and there is always a very weird atmosphere when they are around which makes me feel very anxious. She's just left and I can now relax till next year, phew!

bastedyoungturkey · 27/12/2023 21:38

My mother. Just as you describe OP. Very hard work.

Original poster
MrsNandortheRelentless · 27/12/2023 21:42

It’s like poison though isn’t it.
I find it impossible to have a conversation with them because it always circles around to something uncalled for, unkind and just offensive.

Even avoiding talking about people we know, people on the news, a building, a singer or band, just vitriol and nastiness about whatever it is.

OP posts:
Eekmystro · 27/12/2023 21:47

My mum. She doesn’t say outright unkind things like in your example op, but she is very negative and passive aggressive. Never happy, never likes or enjoy anything. She is an absolute joy drain.

I’ve pondered for so long why she is how she is. I think partly it is a result of her being very focused on her self and her own needs and unable to empathise or understand the perspective of others. I don’t think her needs were met as a child, she was the oldest of 11 children and had cold emotionless parents. She also is quite anxious and also has some cognitive issues from a brain injury.

It’s difficult to be around people like this. I just have limited contacted. Visit for an hour or two and very rare contact with them that lasts longer than a couple of hours.

ScreenPrinting · 27/12/2023 21:54

My mum is like this a lot of the time OP

Talks a lot about people being ‘stupid’, ‘thick as planks’, ‘horrible’, ‘vile’ etc… quite often the adult children of her friends, cons to think of it.

No idea why, apart from the obvious answer that she’s fundamentally insecure herself and needs to put others down to feel better?

It makes me cringe. She called a shop worker an ‘idiot’ (to their face, for once) the other day and I was mortified and apologised on her behalf, which she didn’t even seem to notice. If you tell her she can’t say things like that she will just rant on about how ‘he WAS an idiot’ so it’s better to just ignore her tbh.

Mostly it’s just a general stream of consciousness though and it’s awful. I love her but I really don’t like her. She isn’t a very nice person and I wish she wasn’t so negative and ranty.

apapuchi · 27/12/2023 22:32

My oldest sibling is like this. Everything you say is twisted, there's nothing so innocuous or inoffensive you can say that won't produce a sarcastic, mean or rude comment in response. I try to keep everything totally neutral but they still manage it, it's like a particularly toxic talent. My anxiety is through the roof around them and when my parents are no longer here (they feel the same way I do but sibling is also 'their child' so they are as stuck as everyone else) I won't have contact again. It is poisonous and I know it's because my sibling is deeply unhappy but it just seeps into everything and my life is incredibly difficult and stressful already without this absolutely unnecessary negativity added to it. Sending solidarity, it's awful.

JamSandle · 27/12/2023 22:34

I actually know quite a few people love this. Oh dear!

Trickofthetrade · 27/12/2023 22:45

I know someone like this, was friends with them for years, until my gut told me that they were probably saying just as horrible things about me and my family, even though they were happy to use us for all sorts of favours. She used to bitch about all her friends and gossip about everyone in the local area, she worked locally and knew everyone's business and told me everything even though I'd no interest......she pretends not to see me now !

TooningOut · 27/12/2023 22:54

I also know someone like this.
It stems from deep insecurities and unhappiness.
So draining to be around, I've no solutions, just sympathy that you also have to suffer through it.

happychristmas2023 · 27/12/2023 23:02

My mum. Vile things she says. Not just about other people but if you mention ANYYHİNG good. She can't stand it. Prefers to be proven right about all the bad in others and everything which has ever been invented.

happychristmas2023 · 27/12/2023 23:03

İ don't know why she's like it though...none of her siblings are so you can't blame her upbringing.

pilates · 27/12/2023 23:06

Yes my ex boss

She would ask me to shut the door and bitch about other members of staff. It was exhausting.

Genuineweddingone · 27/12/2023 23:06

My mum and I am in therapy because of her. She is a textbook narcissist.

ChristmasEvemaddness · 27/12/2023 23:10

@MrsNandortheRelentless yes mil and sil.

Horrendous.

I can't bear the thought of my precious chicken around them.

Original poster
MrsNandortheRelentless · 27/12/2023 23:17

I don’t know about you all, but I actively avoid all contact and have done for years.
But have been forced into spending time with them over the last week.
Thankfully I can now go back to avoiding them as far as humanly possible.

Reminded of how vicious they are and are not mellowing with time.
Results will be a very lonely existence as they cannot tolerate people of any description.

OP posts:
ArchetypalBusyMum · 27/12/2023 23:18

My mil, sorry to say. When I first met her I thought she was taking me into her confidence by baring all these personal details about people... Until I realised she was just criticising everyone she knew to me, I was just a fresh audience, and far from it being a sharing moment to get to know her future dil, it was just her usual diatribe which hasn't abated in 20+ years and in fact I have no doubt I am similarly the subject of her stinging criticism regularly.

No idea why she is this way. I find it so so so tiresome, she shows no curiosity and expresses no joy in other people whatsoever.

I'm just glad I met DH early-ish in life as the ways in which he sometimes shows the effects of being reared by her have significantly mellowed over the years as he is not like that at heart at all. When he occasionally says something that has shades of her style in the mix, I shiver... It happens a lot less often these days though thankfully. 😬

emmetgirl · 27/12/2023 23:18

My mother was exactly like this

GenXQuestion · 27/12/2023 23:21

My FIL. All he cares about is himself and money. Complains constantly about immigrants, never has a nice word to say about anybody, makes hurtful comments which the family ignore as "it's just Dad".

iantherose · 27/12/2023 23:28

An ex friend. Miserable unless she was tearing someone to shreds. She prided herself on being honest, but unfortunately the honesty was all negative, nothing positive. The weight of people, under or over, their appearance, dress sense, were all favourite topics for her.

headache · 27/12/2023 23:28

My mother - never had a nice thing to say about anyone apart from “golden child” my brother then by extension his girlfriend but occasionally she would slip up.

She would boast about other people as a way of trying to make me feel bad about myself. For example, when we moved house she had a thing about one of the bedrooms being a tiny boxroom so whenever she spoke about anyone else’s house, especially DBro’s, it had three “good sized double bedrooms” (it always makes me smirk that since I’ve gone NC with her that tiny boxroom she was SO embarrassed with has been extended into a large double bedroom)

There’s a few people at work like it too never say anything nice about anyone, one especially is downright nasty but in a jokey way makes you think you’re her friend, she’s always slagging everyone else off, I can see straight through her and know she talks about me behind my back too.