Announcing resignation

FizzyStream · 2023-12-27T18:27:33+00:00

I've got a new job, leaving a toxic team who have made my life hell in the last year to go back to my previous role under a brilliant manager. I'm not sure what the etiquette is regarding letting people know. In the past when I've changed jobs the jungle drums have done the job for me and it's usually been a positive experience but I handed my notice in last Wednesday and it's been radio silence since. I've had an acknowledgment by email from my manager but that's it. There are two people who have made my life bearable and I'll tell them face to face tomorrow as I think that unfortunately they'll bear the brunt of my leaving and end up getting dumped with a load of extra work until they replace me (if indeed they bother) and I feel bad for them. For those who have been nothing but rude and unhelpful I'm tempted just to let them find out naturally but thinking that's a bit unprofessional. Wwyd? And how should I word an email if I should tell them personally? (I'm not going to manage to see them all face to face before word gets out anyway). Just after general advice really.

TheSnowyOwl · 27/12/2023 18:29

I wouldn’t bother to say anything to any of them. They shouldn’t find out in advance without you saying anything anyway, unless they see you being announced in your new role.

Congratulations on the new job and getting away from a toxic team.

SaltyGod · 27/12/2023 18:30

If your manager has acknowledged and you’re telling the important folk tomorrow, I think that’s enough.

You don’t need to tell anyone else. Why waste time talking to such toxic people? It’s your manager’s job to inform the team.

congrats on the new job

RedSnail · 27/12/2023 18:31

I’d not say anything as the manager should manage the messaging. They may not announce it immediately if they want to sort out how your work will be covered, when the post will be advertised, etc, before letting people know

Mumaway · 27/12/2023 18:32

I wouldn't announce it. My husband changed jobs recently and made such a song and dance about arranging meetings to inform people etc. I'm pretty sure the majority weren't bothered either way

OldBeyondMyYears · 27/12/2023 18:35

I'm handing my notice into my employer when we go back to work next week. I won't tell anyone else as I just can't be bothered. If/when they find out, it won't be from me 🤷‍♀️

I'd leave it OP...it's nobody else's business anyway, and it sounds like they don't deserve to know.

Good luck in your new post xx

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 27/12/2023 18:35

Tell the people you've mentioned, and anyone else you happen to see face-to-face. Word will get out.

JazzyJogger · 27/12/2023 18:36

I gave my notice in after ten years . I knew there were a few people who , if they found out I was leaving would ramp up their nastiness, so I put in the resignation letter that I formally requested that my departure was to be kept confidential. I walked out and felt nothing absolutely nothing. Never looked back .

00100001 · 27/12/2023 18:38

Wouldn't waste my time telling anyone tbh

Original poster

FizzyStream · 27/12/2023 18:44

Thanks all, you've pretty unanimously summed up what I thought would be right!! Thanks for the congratulations ☺️ I'm so relieved to be going.

DH has jokingly told me to go in and tell them all to fuck off and grow up. He's seen the state they have had me in over the last year and is my biggest cheerleader (not the best on tactful advice though 😂)

OP posts:

Jandob · 27/12/2023 18:44

Just dm your friends and don't worry about the rest or send polite email to remainder. You may meet them later.

cansu · 27/12/2023 18:45

I think that most people and organisations do not care really when people leave. I have learnt over many years that most people are completely replaceable in most organisations. I don't say this to be mean it is just a fact of life and I now remind myself of this daily in my own work. Tell the people you want to say goodbye to and ignore the others. I work as a teacher and have seen many great colleagues leave. Those I have a personal relationship with I keep in touch with. The people in charge do not give a shiny shit As long as they find someone to cover the class they are literally irrelevant. Those who have made your life difficult won't care. Focus on yourself.

Original poster

FizzyStream · 27/12/2023 18:46

JazzyJogger · 27/12/2023 18:36

I gave my notice in after ten years . I knew there were a few people who , if they found out I was leaving would ramp up their nastiness, so I put in the resignation letter that I formally requested that my departure was to be kept confidential. I walked out and felt nothing absolutely nothing. Never looked back .

I think deep down I'm also a bit concerned about this - the ramping up of nastiness. I've got to work 8 weeks notice (7 now!) and they're not above making things uncomfortable / difficult for me which I could do without tbh. I just want to do my job and go home.

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SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 27/12/2023 19:22

Why do you need to work 7 weeks notice?
If you are going to work for your former manager, what's the worst that could happen? They put on your reference that you didn't work the required notice?
I had a totally toxic job. 3 months notice. I gave them 3 minutes! I explained to my new job. As it was they gave a factual reference.

Original poster

FizzyStream · 27/12/2023 19:31

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 27/12/2023 19:22

Why do you need to work 7 weeks notice?
If you are going to work for your former manager, what's the worst that could happen? They put on your reference that you didn't work the required notice?
I had a totally toxic job. 3 months notice. I gave them 3 minutes! I explained to my new job. As it was they gave a factual reference.

Contractually I'm obliged to but I know my previous / new manager is trying to rush it through with HR.
My current manager has already done my reference 😂 I guess I'm trying to be as professional as possible and give them enough time to replace me. Will have to see how it goes though once word gets out.

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whatisforteamum · 27/12/2023 19:38

Congrats on the new job.
Ive landed a toxic gossipy place and if i can escape i will.

doriangraybutimthepaintingintheattic · 27/12/2023 19:43

Congratulations! I know this feeling well as had the same last year. I told people I liked and didn't mention to anyone else. It's very weird isn't it? Almost the cherry on top of a shit, toxic cake.

LadyLolaRuben · 27/12/2023 19:47

Is your new role with your current employer so transferring within company? Or is it back to a previous employer?

Original poster

FizzyStream · 27/12/2023 21:29

@whatisforteamum good luck! 🤞🏻

@doriangraybutimthepaintingintheattic yes it is really weird I've never been in this situation before.....

@LadyLolaRuben it's within the NHS so I'm going back to a different department / division but at the same hospital trust hence I need to be careful as I may cross paths with people in the future (but not if I can help it!)

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LadyLolaRuben · 27/12/2023 23:33

FizzyStream · 27/12/2023 21:29

@whatisforteamum good luck! 🤞🏻

@doriangraybutimthepaintingintheattic yes it is really weird I've never been in this situation before.....

@LadyLolaRuben it's within the NHS so I'm going back to a different department / division but at the same hospital trust hence I need to be careful as I may cross paths with people in the future (but not if I can help it!)

I'm a NHS director. I'd tell those you get on with that you're leaving. I wouldn't tell anyone else. If the others find out before you leave so be it.

You could speak to HR if you really wanted to leave before the seven weeks. Tell them for the sake of your mental health you need to move on. Between them and your new manager they may get you out quicker. You won't need a reference from current manager in future as you're new one can do it behalf of this employer. So you don't need anything from your current boss in future and can cut ties

coxesorangepippin · 27/12/2023 23:58

Minefield isn't it op

Good luck in new role

JazzyJogger · 28/12/2023 09:44

Surely if the O/P tells the ones she likes that she is leaving it will get back to the ones she doesn’t like ? People talk /gossip?

Princesspollyyy · 28/12/2023 09:52

You've given your notice in, your reference had already been done, I would go off with stress now, until you start your new job.

You'll still be paid and your new manager will completely understand! Stop being such a 'by the book' person, "I'm contractually obliged.. etc etc".

doriangraybutimthepaintingintheattic · 28/12/2023 10:20

JazzyJogger · 28/12/2023 09:44

Surely if the O/P tells the ones she likes that she is leaving it will get back to the ones she doesn’t like ? People talk /gossip?

Yes which is fine. My take of the issue is that it's awkward because people should be told but aren't being by the relevant people in charge. The reason I say to tell people you like, is mostly out of respect for them so they're made aware.

Original poster

FizzyStream · 28/12/2023 18:54

Thanks all. Yeah I guess I am a bit of a by the book person but I would feel bad for the couple of people who I like who'd be dumped in the shit if I went off sick. I feel I owe it to them to stick it out as they've helped me as much as they could. It's only 7 weeks and as pp said I could get it rushed through by HR citing mental health reasons. I've also booked a weeks leave in the middle so it's bearable now at least I know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Yes, people will, and do, gossip and that's fine. I know there will be a lot of strong opinions from some members of the team and am fully prepared for them to be talking about me. The question was really one of whether it's a massive faux pas not to personally let people know. I gather from this thread though that my first instinct was right, tell the people I get on with and who I like and the rest can just find out whenever and by whatever means.

It's a very odd dynamic whereby I am the fourth person who has left this role in three years. Each person who tries to integrate into the team gets treated the same and ends up leaving (unfortunately I only found this out after I started!) I pity the poor person who follows me unless they have rhinoceros skin.

OP posts:

Princesspollyyy · 28/12/2023 19:15

FizzyStream · 28/12/2023 18:54

Thanks all. Yeah I guess I am a bit of a by the book person but I would feel bad for the couple of people who I like who'd be dumped in the shit if I went off sick. I feel I owe it to them to stick it out as they've helped me as much as they could. It's only 7 weeks and as pp said I could get it rushed through by HR citing mental health reasons. I've also booked a weeks leave in the middle so it's bearable now at least I know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Yes, people will, and do, gossip and that's fine. I know there will be a lot of strong opinions from some members of the team and am fully prepared for them to be talking about me. The question was really one of whether it's a massive faux pas not to personally let people know. I gather from this thread though that my first instinct was right, tell the people I get on with and who I like and the rest can just find out whenever and by whatever means.

It's a very odd dynamic whereby I am the fourth person who has left this role in three years. Each person who tries to integrate into the team gets treated the same and ends up leaving (unfortunately I only found this out after I started!) I pity the poor person who follows me unless they have rhinoceros skin.

I do agree with what you're saying about not letting the people in the team down that have helped you, but at what cost? I'd be putting my own mental health first, and not people's feelings. Sometimes you just have to put yourself first in these situations.

My last workplace was so toxic, it was really affecting me mentally and my days off were spent dreading going in to work. Bullying was on another level and it was by women in their 50's and 60's!

I handed in my notice but didn't work the last few shifts and it was such a relief. A massive weight lifted.