Choosing to spend Christmas by yourself

[Soupofthemonth]

I know a couple of people who prefer to spend Christmas alone, enjoying the peace.

Have you ever chosen to do this?

I have happily worked on Christmas Day and Boxing Day, but never been home on my own.

I did one year. I had just come off night shift that morning, and I was about 9 weeks pregnant with our first baby (we weren't living together but had been together years and the pregnancy was great news). I knew (hoped) that it would be my last Christmas for many years when I could be 100% selfish, and not consider anyone else's needs. So I turned down all invites (my own family being too far to travel to) and had a very self indulgent, peaceful day by myself. It was really lovely, and in the chaos of all the lovely child-centred, family Christmas's that I have helped facilitate since then, it is a nice, private memory that I cherish. I guess the main thing is, it was my choice to be on my own, and I am lucky that I find my own company pleasurable.

I rented a lighthouse one year and spent Christmas walking on the beach in between storms and staring mesmerised out of the window at the horizon and the waves below. Lit a fire, brought excellent wine, novels, delicious things to eat — I had homemade mushroom soup and stollen for dinner. I was (and still am) happily married at the time, but it had been a tiring year, and I fancied some solitude. We had DS since, so we’re doing more conventional Christmases, but I will definitely do it again.

I’m seriously considering it for next year!! Or I’d happily spend it with a close friend again. One of the nicest Xmas days I’ve had was 2020 when we couldn’t mix households for more than a day so I couldn’t get to family and spent it with a friend. We just chilled out and ate when we wanted, drank what we wanted and just had a really nice calm day.

I could have happily done it this year. I am totally burnt out and broken.

I actually think what I need to do is just go away for a few days and walk and read and play the piano and sleep

Yes when I was in my 20s. Lived too far from family to go home ( only had 1 day off) and didn't want to spend it with friends' families.
I loved it. Went out Xmas Eve for a meal with friends.
Probably was on my own 6 or 7 years.

That sounds amazing!! Well done for looking after yourself and taking time out, how many people struggle or seethe over Christmas and pwould love to do tjis?

Yes definitely, I love it! I don't really care what anyone thinks of it.

For some context I do have a lovely DP and a typical christmas would just be us and the dog having a chilled day of lovely food, games, TV and reading our books so it isn't as though I ever need to escape in laws or giant parties and so on. I don't have much living family despite being mid thirties, none that live locally and don't have contact with most of them anyway. Dp's family are at the opposite end of the country so we rarely, if ever see them and never at christmas.

Anyway, DP is in a job that often require working at Christmas, sometimes long hours and for all of it so I'm often alone at home, which I thoroughly enjoy, but equally have on more than one occasion booked myself a cottage in Cornwall and spent it there by myself (something I do throughout the year) and love it - DP will sometimes join a few days later once he has a break in work patterns. Total bliss and so restoring, I thoroughly enjoy time spent with myself.

This year its just been me, DH and our 3 cats. Everything we wanted.

Not completely alone as I have a DS, but I never usually spend it with wider family. I usually see them over the festive period but not actually on Christmas day. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Yes it’s just another day like any other, only much quieter outside. Do whatever you want to do. Treat it like a bonus holiday day off work.

I view it just like any other religious or consumer orientated holiday - join in if you wish or not if don’t. No law saying you have to spend that particular day doing specific things.

I spent this and last Christmas alone. I enjoyed it. It was a choice though, I can imagine it's not so nice if you don't want to be alone. I've spent a few birthdays alone and find that a lot harder.