Do you think phone use has spoiled special occasions?

[ReTrainTheBrain]

Just that really. Everyone is on their phone too much in my extended family. I'm a bit lax with the rules during holidays so even my dc get hooked on them.
Several times I've asked teens and their cousins to put phones away but they seemed to have lost any skills on how to entertain themselves without them.
Not sure what we can do about it.

All phones to be handed over to you on arrival.
😉😁😁😁🎄🎄

Other than a 'no phones at the dining table' rule there is nothing you can do about it I'm afraid!

It's just a way of life now for teens and adults alike.

Seriously, I'd love to do it but think it would lead to everyone hating me and never visiting again. This goes deep.

I agree with you OP. Everyone is only half present. My teen never notices anything, the house could burn around him and he would be too engaged in his phone. But then I saw his grandad had a phone on the table during Christmas dinner yesterday and caught him glancing at it a few times. I wish it was socially acceptable to ask for everyone to leave their phones at the door, maybe some day that will be the norm.

I also hate when people take photos or recordings of fun moments, they want to 'keep memories' but have no problem ruining the moment for others.

Yep. We stopped going to visit DHs family at Christmas when a few years ago everyone except us, who had travelled for hours to be there, was sat in the living room faces in their phones.
The whole lot had gone on about how excited they were to see us but hardly looked up the entire time they were there.

It seems to be an addiction of sorts.

Hate to mention politics on Boxing Day but watching the news recently about voting in Parliament I couldn't help but notice how barely anyone is actually listening to the minister talking, or can even sit still. I was transfixed recently at a few people sitting behind the PM who constantly checked their phone, fiddled with clothing, checked the phone, fidgeted, slumped back, sat up, checked phone, and on it went!

It's not just teenagers who can't seem to concentrate and resist looking at their phone every few seconds. As a pp has said, people are only half in the moment.

Most people I know have a "no phones at the table" rule, and everyone sticks to it. But I agree that phones can become ubiquitous and it's very annoying!

No phones at the table.
Get crackers which have puzzles or a game in to keep everyone together
Get a fun game for afterwards

And accept once you have squeezed 3 hours of time together out of the teens/kids it will be back to phones.

Would you feel the same if everyone was reading? Or sat in silence watching TV?

@frozendaisy I would feel the same if everyone was reading as the whole point of get togethers is to spend time with people and interact.
Watching tv together is different. I don't mind that as it's a shared experience and people will interact too.

They get on fine. Well they used to but now it seems they want to watch TikTok more.

We do have a no phones at the table rule but have always been ok with them wanting to leave the table. It used to be that they'd go off and do stuff together but now it's so they can rush back to their phones.

No way would I or any of my kids comply with that nonsense.

We are visiting relatives and it hasn’t been too bad. Yes, people have looked at phones but not constantly and it hasn’t stopped the banter. There are no set rules but nobody has a phone at the table.

My husband forgot to bring his with him so he has no choice.

Yes I've noticed this too, phones seem to have wrecked our attention and ability to sit still, I include myself in this. Meanwhile we're having a massive explosion in the diagnosis of ADHD. I know genetic, fixed, biological definitions are prefered for these types of diagnosis, but I can't help but think the huge rapid shift in our social environment to include these devices has also had a huge impact on how we experience the world and ourselves.
I've had similar experiences of PP of travelling for miles to see in laws only to find they mostly sit on the phone ignoring us.
I have a young son, and it does make me think carefully around screen use and phones, but of course as they get to teenagers it must be a difficult balance as they rely so much on phones for social interaction.

This doesn't really happen in my family - we had two 'young people' with us yesterday (in their 20s) and they glanced at their phones a couple of times but weren't picking them up, and no one else looked at phones at all. We kept the conversation flowing and made a point of including everyone.

Our Christmas Day was pretty good for this tbf. 6 kids ages 9-16, one 22-year old. No phones at the table. Afterwards 2 nieces (15 & 22) sat on their phones a lot, but even they came off to play games. The rest, including 2 ND DC, played 3-4 board games together & had an absolutely fantastic time, so much laughing & chatting, from littlest up to 93-year old Granny.

However, I did notice at the family carol service on Christmas Eve, with the very engaging vicar, who welcomes DC wandering about & joining in, that some were given phones the minute they sat down. Also at the half hour Scout group Carol service earlier in the month. And at the 2-hour outdoor s'mores & hot chocolate evening in a beautiful country pub. Such a shame.