Why aren’t Mums in more photos?

[Batnm]

I have made an effort to take photos of my baby boy; especially with people who are significant in his life. I try to take photos when we go places/do things. I enjoy taking candid shots and looking back at the memories.

My husband also takes a lot of photos, just never of me. The few he has taken of me I’ve had to ask. I don’t have many photos of me and my son, the ones I do have are mainly selfies I’ve taken.

We have just had a lovely Christmas and I have zero photos to show I was even there. I know I’m lucky to have such a trivial problem in life but today it really upset me.

I have talked to my husband before about it and I’ll talk to him again. I just feel like a bit of an afterthought. I don’t need lots of photos (and I don’t want to turn everything into a photoshoot) but I’d like my son to have some photos to look back on and know I was there!

Does anyone else feel the same? Are Mums always in the background?

Loads of mums on my social media today!

I’ve had the same thing with every male partner I’ve ever had. I now just hand my DH the phone and say ‘get a few with me and DS’. He’ll still often only get half my face in.

I totally understand this op. It’s always been the same for me. Hardly any photos of myself with my beloved child. It’s because I am a single mother and haven’t had many thoughtful people in my life.
I have always made sure to take beautiful candid photographs of my friends and family with their children. Just no one else has done the same for me. I think if I had my life over i would ask people to take pics. I don’t like myself in photos but it’s important for our sense of self.
months ago my mother sadly died. Prior to this she was critically ill in hospital. I took videos of my sister talking to her and holding her hands etc. loads of photos. My sister did not do the same for me. I finally asked her could she take photos of me and mum and she was affronted that I asked and it took lots of reminding her to get her to do. And no nice natural photos like I did of her.

it comes down to thoughtfulness and kindness. I possess these qualities. A lot of others don’t

Same. Not one photo of me from today. I have to ask but I don’t like asking and also posed photos are just never as nice.

I'm a single parent - you just have to be assertive and ask! Latest phones selfie quality are very good so I do a lot of those too

Same. I have very few photos of me with the kids. I have some when they were babies bit very few now. My husband doesn't think to take them..even with me in them.

I hate pictures of myself because i'm very critical of my appearance, so I'm probably better off not knowing that they've been taken and then someone showing me years later.

I take loads of photos of everyone else, usually when people don't realise so they're quite natural and in the moment .

I always ask now. And really dramatically. Like, ‘they'd have to use a selfie of me at my funeral.’ Theres not even a photo of me and dc1 for the first three days as my dh ‘just didn't think.’ Although there is one of the birth pool that he put up… His camera roll is mainly photos of pieces from his hobby and then whatever ive sent him. He wouldnt naturally take a photo of anyone or anything when out and about. Although he took one of the football pitch at the game last weekend. But photos of people? No.

Ive started using the timer and making them look candid 😂. I follow loads of iphone photography pages on insta for tips

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mom-pictures-with-kids_b_1926073/amp

I ask people to take them since reading this article a few years ago.

I always have to ask for husband to take pictures of me with my son but I take loads of him 🙄 is it weird that I want to buy myself a tripod to capture moments? Haha

DH always asks me to take photos of him and DS but it never occurs to him to take photos of me and DS.

Yes! I stupidly still feel annoyance at all the photos from DC's childhood with horrible, abusive exH. Lovely looking scenes of happiness on the holidays I planned, organised and paid for!!! I always think much of their great memories from that time are encapsulated in those photos and it makes him look like the involved parent. I know it's ridiculous but I'm still holding a lot resentment about it all, pathetic I know. It's just the exH was an abusive narc but I covered up the abuse for years and was blamed by dc for causing much of the upset when I eventually left. My DM was in same situation and forever taking photos of the happy times but never in photos herself. I guess it's common, maybe social media and selfies has improved the situation!

Yes I feel upset about this too. There are no nice photos of me with my 18 month old son as a newborn but lots of everyone else. On Christmas Day my little boy sat on my lap for me to read him his new book, which he hardly ever does, and my husband only started filming just as my son was climbing off me! I feel a bit silly taking selfies and it would be nice if someone else thought to document the memories. I feel like everything I do for my son is invisible and in the background and everyone else gets to do the visible stuff and be in the photos. He’ll look back at his childhood photos one day and it will be like I was hardly there.

My husband does take some unprompted but I'll often just ask him to take a few quick photos if I want one of a particular scene, like feeding the ducks or decorating the Christmas tree. He probably wouldn't think to take them otherwise but I have no problem asking him and he's always happy to oblige.

I take quite a lot of selfies with my children too, particularly at the moment because I have a 4 week old who's changing and growing so fast and I want to capture every moment. My 2 year old loves posing and pulling faces at the front selfie camera on my phone.

For me it's because I hate myself in any photos, I never allow anyone to take any.

Any old family photos of me, I destroy, just hate them.

I even did my XMIL's photography for her second wedding because it ensured there would be none of me.