He just walked into my room?

[Primecut]

I celebrated Christmas with a friend and her DC, and another friend of hers also joined and we both stayed over in my friend's place. We had a really nice evening and a fair amount of drinks, but I don't think anyone was really drunk. Anyway. We went to bed and all slept in different bedrooms, but I stayed up a bit because I couldn't fall asleep right away so was just browsing stuff on my phone. I am not sure how much time passed but I reckon 30 mins or so and my friend's friend came into my room and pretty much asked me if I wanted to hook up. It did freak me out a bit because he had literally just walked into my room, and I really don't think I had given any indication all evening that I was interested him in this way. To be fair he accepted this and pretty quickly and left again, but it was seriously weird? I don't have the best boundaries but have worked very hard on improving them, so sometimes I'm unsure if I give out the wrong signals. Is this something that people do/ find normal? To me it isn't but I guess it doesn't mean that I'm right.

No I would not consider this normal. Presumptuous at best, and certainly lacking boundaries and respect. This would have made me very uneasy too. I hope you told your friend about this.

That is completely and utterly unacceptable.

Totally crap behaviour

How old are you all?

Yep - in my long and 'interesting' life, only three men have done this to me. One was off his face at a party, one was supposed to be spending the night with my flatmate (!) and one was a burglar. All three, actually, have the mindset of a thief: they sneak in where they fancy, they get kicks out of transgression, and they want to take something that has not been freely offered.

It's nothing to do with any signals you may or may not have given. The only signal that could POSSIBLY have led him to think this was all right would have been your inviting him, explicitly, into your room for sex. And you didn't do that.

He's a wrong 'un. He probably won't try this again with you, but I'd be watchful around him. It's also fine to tell your friend about it - do it lightly, in a "haha, you won't believe what Fred did" tone, if you think it best. But it is okay to tell.

Thank you. I keep wondering what I might have said that gave him the impression that I wanted this but I can't think oof anything which is why I got so confused. They are ealry 40s, I'm about 10 years younger. Not sure if this matters but somebody asked.

That's awful. Some women would have relented under that social pressure so that coercive tactic may have worked for him in the past

Sorry @Primecut, some guys are very opportunistic and very good at interpreting things their way. You probably have no indication at all so don’t waste another second doubting yourself.

Some blokes want to have a shag every day with someone different and think nothing of asking. It's nothing to do with you or anything you've done.

Years ago a mate of my male flatmate asked him at the end of the evening round ours whether he (mate) should knock on my bedroom door, my flatmate told him to fuck off home. I've known that guy for 30 years now and he has had sex with so many women. Never misses an opportunity.

I recently got asked out on a date by a guy I'd known through work 20 years ago, we exchanged numbers and within a couple of days he was asking for sex 🤦‍♀️

Some men just can't help themselves and have no boundaries.

Wow. And what the hell was he going to do if he walked in and you were asleep? Sneak into the bed with you or something? Fucking weird

Creepy. With a DC in the house as well.