Just that.
I'm alone today. No family or close friends to spend time with.
One acquaintance texted to know whether I'm with family. I said no; I decided to spend Christmas alone recharging 😅. White lie darling. I'm sure you've noticed this lady has no ties? Don't play with me!
Yesterday, I went to a Church service. I haven't been in 5 years or so and I'm not Christian/ religious. The pastor went on and on about Jesus being God and why we should not try to make sense of everything as mystery is part of it all. Sir, I'm a scientist you see. I have question. I find myself scoffing at the vagueness, but then I kick myself for being snobbish and get back into the act of worship.
Not sure whether to return to church today as they have a special Christmas service this morning. Don't want the sight of excited families to trigger me, but my mind is telling me to go back as I really need a sign from God 😊.
If I went, I must choose a better seat though as I didn't appreciate how the two women who sandwiched me yesterday invaded my personal space with their dancing and then smiling at me. Ladies calm down; I'm ND. I don't like being touched and you're now annoying me 😂
I'll be making a roast for the first time today. I mixed my stuffing last night. Poor chicken. I actually wanted turkey, but went to Aldi and the turkey cost a fortune, so I said bloody hell, I'll have me the cheapest chicken! Also bought some drinks. This is a change from past Christmases where I ate noodles or didn't even get out of bed. This lady is finally becoming a wholesome human being. Shame to my enstranged family 😈
My home feels warm this morning. I know the energy bill in January won't be but hey I'm not going to think about that right now.
Music is currently playing. Gospel music. I haven't listened to my playlist in years, but the date I met on Bumble asked whether I loved music. Sir, forgive me I don't right now, but thanks for reminding me I once survived on music so off I go to reawaken my playlist.
I wanted to buy Christmas lights to hang on my front door, but didn't know where to find them and I'm not bloody going to IKEA for it. I'm sorry I just won't. I got lost in that place the last time! Besides I dont have a Christmas tree that and lights on the door would have given me away to my neighbours from whom I'm hiding anyway 😅 so it's not the end of the world.
Called mum and dad yesterday, separately. One of my new year resolutions is to just be kinder to these two. Haven't seen them in years. I don't know what the future holds. Let's just be kind, shall we? 😀 But dad went on and on about sociopolitical issues. Sir, please stop. If I needed to be worn down by societal downturns, I have the news channels for that!
I text my best cousin a lovely Christmas message. I haven't seen her in over a decade and we are a million miles apart. I tell her I love her. She replies saying I'm her dearest cousin (and of course I am😀). I really do have fond memories of us.
I have quite a few new year resolutions/ goals which I spent a few hours journaling two nights ago. I feel optimistic about next year but my bank account keeps telling me to feel otherwise. So, I call a male friend (known him for a decade) and we both moan about adulting and then he tells me to go make more money. Sir, I'll need more than 24 hours in a day to do any more than I'm doing 😂. Oh, he may mean I should get a better paying job??? But I just got this one not long ago... Please don't make me financially insatiable. He says he has to go as he's spending Christmas with his parents. I've known him for 10 years, yet he asks where I'm spending Christmas. In my house sir. It's either that or in the office and we all know the offices are closed. Please don't trigger me 😀
I value his friendship. I don't see him often but he's stuck with me through my hard times and vice-versa, over the phone of course.
Anyway, back to Christmas today, Hillsong Worship currently playing 🎻