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Original poster

How can I start to actually enjoy Christmas?

34 replies

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 24/12/2023 21:18

Every year just feels flat. I try my hardest for my children but I have a husband who only goes along with it begrudgingly, I don't see my mum or brother anymore.

It all just feels like such a fucking faff. I'm so glad my eldest has worked out the santa thing and am looking forward to youngest doing the same so we can dispense with all the nonsense that I wish i'd never bothered starting.

I'd love it to just be a normal day.

I know, I'm clearly scrooge. I don't even go overboard rally just a regular basic Christmas.

OP posts:
Baldieheid · 24/12/2023 21:30

I'm flat about it too. Honestly, just do the day that suits you and adapt it to a calmer, less over the top day as your kids get older. I have always, and will always, refused to do any of the stuff modern life insists we ought to do. We hate turkey, so that can sod off. I hate the waste, the overindulgence, the noise and mess, OMFG the noise and the mess...

Original poster
MyLadyTheKingsMother · 24/12/2023 21:49

I do, do the day I feel I should do. My boys love it 😔 I feel so guilty.

To top it off the ridiculous hunk of meat my dad bough for four adults and two children for dinner STILL wasn't defrosted fully after four days in the fridge and stunk when I opened the package.

Bloody good job I bought a chicken for the kids

OP posts:
Baldieheid · 24/12/2023 21:58

Oh, it's ridiculous isn't it? Can you gradually change your traditions to suit you, each year going a little more off-piste? I find keeping breakfast and lunch very normal is best. We like our cooked meal in the evening, so that's what we do. Yes, it's a roast, but it's just a standard, unfussy, roast with no special bits. Just roast beef and gravy, yorkies, roast spuds and root veg and a couple of greens. The idea of preparing for days in advance makes me want to cry.

My sil makes a curry for their Christmas meal as that's what they want.

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willowstar · 24/12/2023 22:21

Same here. I go through with it for everyone else but I just find it all a bit sad and lonely and a lot of work. I struggle at this time of the year anyway so it all feels like such an effort on top of work and everything. I spend lots of money and even though I budget for it, it just feels all a bit much. My guard it slipping a bit now the children are early teens. It doesn't help that I do absolutely everything towards it on my own. Anyway, not much help to you but you are not alone.

tescocreditcard · 24/12/2023 22:24

The only time i started to enjoy xmas was when i started following the organised mums christmas plan which you can aim to finish on 1 december. then you at least get to enjoy yourself for the whole of december.

Obviously though, it was still me doing all the work.

Original poster
MyLadyTheKingsMother · 24/12/2023 22:34

Just asked DH what would make Christmas better. He said "someone else doing it all so we can relax"

I said holiday somewhere warm lol

OP posts:
Baldieheid · 25/12/2023 08:19

Sounds like you're going away next Christmas OP!!! Get booking.

My friend and her DH have gone to India. Another couple i know are spending the week in Miami, and my neighbours are in Dubai for a month with their son.

Financially out of my league but you may be able to stretch to it?

TootsyPants · 25/12/2023 08:22

We go out for lunch with my Mum. I hate the prep and cooking for what is really just a posher version of Sunday lunch.
My husband is a grinch and sucks the joy out of any occasion so I don't bother trying to make it a special time any more.

Original poster
MyLadyTheKingsMother · 25/12/2023 09:12

Baldieheid · 25/12/2023 08:19

Sounds like you're going away next Christmas OP!!! Get booking.

My friend and her DH have gone to India. Another couple i know are spending the week in Miami, and my neighbours are in Dubai for a month with their son.

Financially out of my league but you may be able to stretch to it?

No chance 😂 it's more likely to be a skeggy bnb for 2 nights

OP posts:
Londonlass819 · 25/12/2023 09:18

Your DC sound young, it does get infinitely easier once they hit their teens. Really it just becomes a roast dinner, presents and crap TV. Then it really does fall flat but it's far less stressful.

Whatapickle23 · 25/12/2023 09:21

Is it mainly the cooking that you hate? Can you go out for Christmas lunch next year? Or if that would be too expensive (I know places put their prices up) could you sack it off and get a takeaway?

menopausalmare · 25/12/2023 09:30

Lower your expectations. It's a day off work (not for everyone, I know) with nice food and drink and TV time. Anything else is a bonus.
I prefer the run- up to Christmas rather than the actual day which has become a cooking and washing up marathon.

Sunshineandrainbow · 25/12/2023 09:30

willowstar · 24/12/2023 22:21

Same here. I go through with it for everyone else but I just find it all a bit sad and lonely and a lot of work. I struggle at this time of the year anyway so it all feels like such an effort on top of work and everything. I spend lots of money and even though I budget for it, it just feels all a bit much. My guard it slipping a bit now the children are early teens. It doesn't help that I do absolutely everything towards it on my own. Anyway, not much help to you but you are not alone.

Sums it up perfectly to me.

Definitely feels different as the kids get older and not as rushed juggling school events/excitment etc.

Definitely look into lunch out next year. Maybe you can pay a deposit and save the rest.

Meal is pretty simple here.
Pigs I blankets.
Roast pots.
Chesnut stuffing.
A few veg.. That's what dd enjoys so that's all I do now.

Username5678910 · 25/12/2023 09:34

I find the whole thing a faff, the tree taking up space in the sitting room(I have a slot booked at the tip on Wednesday to get rid of it), the decorations cluttering up the sides, the present buying, the excess food, the shite tv. It's also unseasonably mild so feels more like October than Christmas.

Original poster
MyLadyTheKingsMother · 25/12/2023 09:37

Whatapickle23 · 25/12/2023 09:21

Is it mainly the cooking that you hate? Can you go out for Christmas lunch next year? Or if that would be too expensive (I know places put their prices up) could you sack it off and get a takeaway?

I don't really HATE any of it as such. It's just all the stress and organisation of having to have everything you need ready for a specific day.

I quite enjoy cooking a roast, not bad at it either. But when my grandparents are coming I feel the need to clear and dress the dining table (currently wfh on it the other 363 days of the year) and the other bits of faff that come with having guests like being tidy and cleaning bathrooms.

If it were just us we'd eat off our laps in front of the telly like every other Sunday.....

OP posts:
Original poster
MyLadyTheKingsMother · 25/12/2023 09:42

And the dicking about moving everything to fit the Dec's every year.

Wrapping bloody presents and having to hide the fuckers so santa can take the credit (too late to change that now)

Kids that won't go to bloody sleep

Having to sneak gifts downstairs when they've finally dropped off.

The bloody bathroom being downstairs so if I need a wee in the night (which I sometimes do these days with having pushed out two large watermelon headed children) being as quiet as possible so as not to wake the children who are sleeping fitfully on a hair trigger.

Sleeping badly myself as I'm always on alert for them getting up as silly AM.

Its all just dumb.

My mum never understood why I didn't like it. My dad made a great point once that she never had to do all this stuff whilst having a full time job on top.

OP posts:
Baldieheid · 25/12/2023 09:57

I don't like it either, OP. I'm contemplating hauling the fucking decorations down tomorrow. I HATE the whole crap about "peace on earth" whilst we watch bombs go off in multiple places on the news, the "we love our neighbours" shite when on a normal day we time our run to the car to avoid them. The gifting of crap that nobody wants. The soapstone fucking elephant that my mother in law will give me for the 10th year in a row, that can sit beside the previous 9.

Truly, December is a month I bloody well hate.

Yours truly,

The Grinch.

Wintery · 25/12/2023 11:20

@Baldieheid what's with the soapstone elephants???

ilovesooty · 25/12/2023 11:22

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 24/12/2023 22:34

Just asked DH what would make Christmas better. He said "someone else doing it all so we can relax"

I said holiday somewhere warm lol

In that case stop trying to force yourself to enjoy it and go away next year.

ilovesooty · 25/12/2023 11:29

Or if you stay at home sack off anything extra. Don't have decorations that get in the way. Don't go with the convoluted Santa crap. Don't invite people. Eat your dinner on your lap in front of the TV. Tell people now you're not doing all the rubbish next year.

Baldieheid · 25/12/2023 11:29

Wintery · 25/12/2023 11:20

@Baldieheid what's with the soapstone elephants???

No idea.

I didn't get one this year. I did get a tiny metal box (2cm tall, tops) with little cats on it. She's no idea what it is, but she thought I'd like it. I do. It's better than another elephant. I like elephants but I don't need a whole herd....

TonTonMacoute · 25/12/2023 12:05

What worked for me is changing the way I think about it, and accepting that Christmas Day is not a holiday, it's the hardest and most stressful day of the year pretty much, and most of the hard work is done by me. Others aren't going to help, and it's no point feeling resentful and cross about it. Just do as much prep beforehand as you can.

Boxing Day is my holiday, I make it clear that I will not do anything on that day, that is my reward.

mrswhiplington · 25/12/2023 12:13

Baldieheid · 25/12/2023 09:57

I don't like it either, OP. I'm contemplating hauling the fucking decorations down tomorrow. I HATE the whole crap about "peace on earth" whilst we watch bombs go off in multiple places on the news, the "we love our neighbours" shite when on a normal day we time our run to the car to avoid them. The gifting of crap that nobody wants. The soapstone fucking elephant that my mother in law will give me for the 10th year in a row, that can sit beside the previous 9.

Truly, December is a month I bloody well hate.

Yours truly,

The Grinch.

😂

FindingMeno · 25/12/2023 12:49

I enjoy everyone else having fun.
But tbh I'm knackered from work being full on and the extra stuff that needs doing for Christmas.
I really am not a fan, but I see it as a chance to give to others, and be grateful for what I have, which helps.

FindingMeno · 25/12/2023 12:53

I also hate changing everything for the Christmas Dec's.
It makes me feel displaced and unsettled!

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