Awkward neighbours

Jen1991 · 2023-12-24T20:32:12+00:00

My neighbours are being really off hand with me. I bumped in to them today on Sainsbury's car park I waved they did see me and my daughter who was in her pram. They just walked straight past me and ignored me. I don't know what the problem is or what I have done but this is making me feel uneasy and anxious. I feel like asking what I have done but don't want to have any issues.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 24/12/2023 20:37

Probably very busy/stressed/had a row/short on time and/or just didn’t recognise you out of context or register that it was you until way too late.

Mum2jenny · 24/12/2023 20:37

They may not have recognised you. You may be being a little sensitive. Why did you want to be acknowledged?

Eekmystro · 24/12/2023 20:39

I have an issue recognising people out of place.

I think your really over thinking it

Original poster

Jen1991 · 24/12/2023 20:41

They definitely seen it was me also I had my daughter in the pram so they knew it was me. I always say hi to them when I see them but about 3 times recently I feel they have been off hand. I thought nothing of it until today. I don't like these sort of situation it makes me feel very uneasy as I have anxiety and stuff like this just plays on my mind.

OP posts:

coldcallerbaiter · 24/12/2023 20:48

People tend to seethe about stuff, but do not tell you directly, so maybe they are pissed about something minor like a car block or something weird.

SaucepanRattle · 24/12/2023 20:56

My friend had this issue with a previous neighbour who just wouldn't say hello and kept blanking her. She just continued to say hello even though they ignored her. Literally for years. Just acted oblivious to the fact she was being blanked.

I've actually picked up the tip for someone else who has taken to ignoring me for no reason (I can think of). I break out into a broad smile and say hello. It now doesn't feel awkward to me because it's an automatic reaction to smile when I see them. They still blank me but it doesn't stop me. But it does stop me from feeling awkward.

OnionOnionH · 24/12/2023 21:00

If you’ve done nothing you can think of to offend them in someway, I’d just try your best to ignore, just keep being polite and saying hello and then disengage.
I have something similar with my neighbours at the moment and being conflict averse, it makes me feel uncomfortable, but the truth is some people are just like that and it’s not my problem.

Original poster

Jen1991 · 24/12/2023 21:04

Thanks I appreciate your responses. I just hate feeling like people are off with me. They used to be fine with me chatty and saying hello asking how I am. It's just really strange. I think my anxiety with people is making this worse as well I just keep thinking this over as I feel uneasy and awkward and feel like I'm being spoken about now.

OP posts:

britneyisfree · 24/12/2023 21:25

Had this very recently however it was a neighbour I had been borderline emesheed with for an intense and short period.

She started blanking me and it was so awkward and stressful until I began to feel as though she doesn't exist and now you'd never know we'd ever spoken to each other before. Just push through

OnionOnionH · 24/12/2023 21:30

I know what you mean, any kind of conflict makes me feel anxious, but we can’t control other people’s behaviour. There could be any number of reasons they’re being off with you, that are completely unrelated to you. If you’re also stuck in an anxiety loop it might become self fulfilling and they’re wondering why you’re acting off with them unbeknown to you.
I honestly find what works for me is trying to focus on my positive qualities and liking myself, so that I’m not looking for approval from other people.

ejhug · 24/12/2023 21:33

SaucepanRattle · 24/12/2023 20:56

My friend had this issue with a previous neighbour who just wouldn't say hello and kept blanking her. She just continued to say hello even though they ignored her. Literally for years. Just acted oblivious to the fact she was being blanked.

I've actually picked up the tip for someone else who has taken to ignoring me for no reason (I can think of). I break out into a broad smile and say hello. It now doesn't feel awkward to me because it's an automatic reaction to smile when I see them. They still blank me but it doesn't stop me. But it does stop me from feeling awkward.

I'd leave them alone, frankly. They probably think you're a nightmare by persisting, as for whatever reason they don't wish to speak to you.

I'm sure you're very nice, but hope you see what I mean.

coldcallerbaiter · 24/12/2023 23:08

They are harmless, no need for anxiety, they are not hostile.

It will be something they think you’ve done.

I had this with a neighbour, I had to rack my brains to think back but she stopped speaking to me after
I casually said I would not hire someone she recommended and who had contracted for her, as not keen on the job he did……but then again it’s my opinion and she should a life…….no need to take it personally

glossylippsthickhips · 25/12/2023 00:21

I'm a bit like that with my neighbours - 1 thing they are not your friends and don't owe you conversation. I personally hate small talk and it makes things very awkward and I find it easy to just avoid eye contact and ignore. I may be in the minority but again I don't care.

WandaWonder · 25/12/2023 00:29

Maybe they feel you are being too pushy

LumiB · 25/12/2023 00:31

My neighbour once said to me she felt I was blanking her or her partner ever since a year ago I had to knock on their and ask them to stop drilling at 6am on a Sunday

She thought I was being deliberately petty. I just laughed I couldn't help it I was like do you seriously think I'm gonna waste my time and energy holding onto that. Half the time I'm stepping out my house I have headphones on so I obviously didn't hear her. As for seeing her I'm always someone who forgets at least one thing when i leave my house so it might look like I saw you but I haven't cos I'm running through my head to make sure I got everything

I've said hi to the neighbour across the road a few times and she hasn't heard me even though she has looked eight at me I never thought oh why is she being off with me instead im like cringe she clearly didn't register it was me

Just brush it off its not a big deal