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Husband’s SIL is a weapon!

25 replies

Pollywoddles · 24/12/2023 12:11

We’re hosting DH’s family for Christmas. Among them is his brother’s wife and I’m about ready to smack her.

Since arriving she has:

  • Told me my 21 month old has autistic tendencies (she doesn’t).
  • Let her 2.5 year old child who is not toilet trained run around my kitchen and living room with no nappy on and his bare arse on my rug and on my daughters little table where she sits to eat her snack.
  • Her child broke a chair by falling off it after she insisted on him not using any of the high chair options we had provided. Then wanted to put him on one of our new dining chairs with no nappy on. Was miffed when I insisted he sit on one of the wipeable chairs which he then nearly tipped over again except I caught him this time.
  • My daughter had the sniffles at the start of the week. I now have her cold. This morning (after I’ve gotten up early to go to 3 shops to finish the Christmas shopping and bought her her favourite chocolates) asks me if I have a cold. When I say I have she says ‘oh so we can take it home with us’. This coming from the woman who arrived barking and after fever.

It’s not even Christmas Day yet. I wonder what other little delights she can squeeze in before she leaves on Boxing Day.

Tell me your tales of family hosting woe.

OP posts:
SaladFingerz · 24/12/2023 12:13

Why don't you pull her into line? Are you scared of rocking the boat?

ConnieCroydon · 24/12/2023 12:15

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Pollywoddles · 24/12/2023 12:16

Did you mean to be so rude?

OP posts:

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Rocksonabeach · 24/12/2023 12:16

what is her husband doing?

nappy on here / my rules

my lovely ex (not!) has not decorated his house - has DS by court order 23-26 this year. Two years ago he had the same and didn’t turn up.

yesterday, He has refused to let ds aged 10 phone his sister aged 16 tonight to talk about Santa - saying it wasn’t in the court order. Yet I allow him to ring on Father’s Day, sons birthday etc despite none of those being in the court order. Deep breath 😮‍💨 what a wanker.

at least we have a life long restraining order / the man is a bloody teacher at a secondary school and can’t see the damage he does.

dd is no contact and has a restraining order to protect her and we are instead going to a lovely new knitting club tonight and then watching Madame blanc etc and having a cuddle!!

Flymetothetoon · 24/12/2023 12:16

Just for starters tell her to put a nappy or pull ups on the bare arsed kid. Why haven't you??

tchotchke · 24/12/2023 12:17

Well tbf to other posters, what is your DH doing? Why are you doing all the running around?

Ifancythegrinch · 24/12/2023 12:17

Honestly, as I’ve got older, I’ve got no time for this sort of bullshit. I would have immediately pulled her up on it and told her she was being rude and hurtful for making comets about your child. You don’t have to be confrontational, just factual.

Although, those sort of people usually play he victim really well and start balling their eyes out.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 24/12/2023 12:18

Toddler or not I wouldn't be having a bare arse running around...

ChaToilLeam · 24/12/2023 12:19

If your DH won’t get her telt, you’ll have to. No bare arses in this house, please! Look after your kid at the table, we’ve already had one chair broken. If she gets the hump, so be it. Hopefully they aren’t staying too long?

ConnieCroydon · 24/12/2023 12:20

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Pollywoddles · 24/12/2023 12:21

My DH wasn’t here for the nappy incident and he’s doing plenty. There are also more of his family here and it’s busy so we’re not all together all of the time.

I should have said something about the nappy to be fair but she’s a strong character and I’m a people pleaser. I told DH about it and he couldn’t believe it, he would definitely have did something if he’d been here.

OP posts:
tescocreditcard · 24/12/2023 12:21

You need to talk to her about it and explain why it's inappropriate thats all.

Or are you worried that she won't think you're "nice"?

ofestivetree · 24/12/2023 12:22

Pollywoddles · 24/12/2023 12:21

My DH wasn’t here for the nappy incident and he’s doing plenty. There are also more of his family here and it’s busy so we’re not all together all of the time.

I should have said something about the nappy to be fair but she’s a strong character and I’m a people pleaser. I told DH about it and he couldn’t believe it, he would definitely have did something if he’d been here.

That's on you. Teach your child by example and speak up when you aren't happy

Namenamchange · 24/12/2023 12:23

Stop pandering to your dh!

OhpoorMe · 24/12/2023 12:23

Honestly none of this is a big deal -2.5yo can sit on a chair and accidents happen. Nappy on just tell them. You've got colds and didn't warn them which is bad.

ConnieCroydon · 24/12/2023 12:23

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whatsitcalledwhen · 24/12/2023 12:24

Pollywoddles · 24/12/2023 12:21

My DH wasn’t here for the nappy incident and he’s doing plenty. There are also more of his family here and it’s busy so we’re not all together all of the time.

I should have said something about the nappy to be fair but she’s a strong character and I’m a people pleaser. I told DH about it and he couldn’t believe it, he would definitely have did something if he’d been here.

He could still say something now. Just because it isn't happening 'live' doesn't mean he gets a free pass for not standing up for you or not addressing his sister's shitty behaviour.

Namenamchange · 24/12/2023 12:24

Pollywoddles · 24/12/2023 12:21

My DH wasn’t here for the nappy incident and he’s doing plenty. There are also more of his family here and it’s busy so we’re not all together all of the time.

I should have said something about the nappy to be fair but she’s a strong character and I’m a people pleaser. I told DH about it and he couldn’t believe it, he would definitely have did something if he’d been here.

How long was the nappy of for

Pollywoddles · 24/12/2023 12:25

As all my husbands family live overseas he doesn’t see them as often as he’d like so I just want it to be nice for him. But we’ve had a very frank conversation this morning about her so I feel confident that I can call her out on it next time she does something.

OP posts:
TerrysChocolateBorangejuice · 24/12/2023 12:25

........but she’s a strong character and I’m a people pleaser

No you aren't. You are a "people" too. Are you pleased?

Pollywoddles · 24/12/2023 12:26

It’s his sister in law.

OP posts:
BlueDayBritishIdiot · 24/12/2023 12:28

If the nappy incident happens again, grab the child and put a nappy on it. If she asks you what you're doing tell her nappy on in your home.

As for her rude remarks rise above them and ask for a call to arms to help round the house, give her the shitty jobs.

Pollywoddles · 24/12/2023 12:28

OhpoorMe · 24/12/2023 12:23

Honestly none of this is a big deal -2.5yo can sit on a chair and accidents happen. Nappy on just tell them. You've got colds and didn't warn them which is bad.

That’s a bit of a leap. I didn’t have a cold when they arrived on Thursday and my daughter was getting over hers which they were told about.

OP posts:
ofestivetree · 24/12/2023 12:29

I get you want it to be nice but if she's not being nice you can stand up for youself

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 24/12/2023 12:37

I’m just aghast that your SIL/BIL are toilet training their child (1) over Christmas (2) in someone else’s house!!

I’m not a nice person when it comes to one of my SILs. I would assume (and is he right) that she’d done this deliberately to save her own home from accidents.

Who does this??!

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