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Original poster

Anyone up - handhold?

45 replies

Cleanuponaisle1 · 23/12/2023 01:26

Just had to end my relationship. Only a few days before Christmas. I’m heartbroken. No kids and don’t live together but had planned to get engaged next year. He’s out drinking and I’m home alone with my cat trying not to cry.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cleanuponaisle1 · 23/12/2023 04:29

He’s just messaged he’s in another woman’s

OP posts:
MinnieMountain · 23/12/2023 04:33

Block him.

Browniesandcustard · 23/12/2023 04:36

Another vote for blocking him. Both on your phone and on all social media.

Original poster
Cleanuponaisle1 · 23/12/2023 04:38

I was just about to sleep too now I feel sick I’m crying I’m a mess. I hate men. Why do they do this?

OP posts:
SausageCasseroles · 23/12/2023 04:44

He's obviously an absolute idiot and shown you his true colours.

You've given yourself the best Christmas present ever and you are FREE!!! Well done 🥳🥳.

It will only get better from here.

Tell us what is happening over christmas- did you say you are going to family?

Then some time to recover at home? What a relief he isn't living with you - you pribably knew on some level he wasn't right?

Give yourself time to just sleep/rest/binge watch maybe get some exercise and fresh air.

Is there anything you fancy planning?any box sets to watch? Anywhere to visit that makes you feel good.

Tall to us ... xxx

SausageCasseroles · 23/12/2023 04:44

Oh just seen about sleep. Sleep is also very good!

scoobysnaxx · 23/12/2023 04:45

Message well good luck to you and her then 👌🏽

Then BLOCK.

This idiot who you are dumping for valid reasons and is NOT good enough for you does not get to upset you anymore!

Hearmenow23 · 23/12/2023 04:45

Of course this is a generalisation, but men in their 20s are still very young and immature. Especially if this going out malarkey is all new to him. Leave him to it, you've dodged a bullet. He's being a drunken mess and trying to provoke you, then in the morning he'll be sorry, then the apologising will turn to anger when you don't respond as he wishes.

I had quite a few relationships in my 20s and was also engaged to one of them. I shudder at the thought of being with any of them now. It will be ok.

FrogSplash · 23/12/2023 04:49

There are two options:

  • either he's lying and he's an immature game playing idiot
  • or he's not and he's a disloyal, immature game playing arsehole.
Either way you deserve better and while I know it doesn't feel like it now it's good you found it out before wasting a second more on the man he's become.

I'm so sorry this has happened now though OP. The timing is hard but it sounds like you've done the right thing. Just try and cut yourself some slack this Christmas - self care and be gentle on yourself.

Original poster
Cleanuponaisle1 · 23/12/2023 04:50

I don’t think he will apologise. I broke up with him so it’s not cheating is it. And as I said he’s very avoidant and defeatist, he’ll see not messaging as doing his bit to ‘not bother me’. He’ll sleep all day too.

Im trying to sleep but I feel sick knowing he’s probably sleeping with another woman right now. Especially since it’s like a woman that was a point of contention.

OP posts:
Karmaisagod · 23/12/2023 05:14

Stay strong, OP. Heartbreak is the worst, but it does pass.

I would be tempted to message back "Thank you for confirming I made the right decision" (because he has, whether he's lying or trying to goad you) and THEN block him. And really mean it.

dijonketchup · 23/12/2023 05:24

OP, thank your lucky stars he’s not your problem any more. If he’d go out and sleep with someone else the same night his partner ended things instead of coming home and apologising he’s got serious issues and you are better off out of it.

He’s just shown you you’ve made the absolute right decision.

Thinking practically, can you make yourself a little plan for the days until you go back to work so you have some distractions? A mixture of nice things - take yourself to the cinema, out for coffee with old friends, go shopping for something you really wanted for Christmas - and achieving some goals like decluttering, deep cleaning or exercising that you can do on autopilot?

Good luck, you are only 27 but you sound so much wiser than that, knowing what you want and what you won’t put up with by that age is priceless.

autienotnaughty · 23/12/2023 06:08

Block him. Regardless of the fact the relationship ended to say something like that is cruel.

AcrossthePond55 · 23/12/2023 15:20

Cleanuponaisle1 · 23/12/2023 04:50

I don’t think he will apologise. I broke up with him so it’s not cheating is it. And as I said he’s very avoidant and defeatist, he’ll see not messaging as doing his bit to ‘not bother me’. He’ll sleep all day too.

Im trying to sleep but I feel sick knowing he’s probably sleeping with another woman right now. Especially since it’s like a woman that was a point of contention.

Please block him on every SM platform you can. Further communication with him serves no purpose.

He's being vindictive and nasty because he knows that everything you said to him was the truth. And his fragile little ego can't handle being the one who got dumped. Hell, he could easily be lying for all you know. But if he isn't, whoever she is deserves your sympathy as she's brought in the trash you just threw out.

MILTOBE · 23/12/2023 15:23

What a narrow escape you've had. You could have been stuck with him through marriage and children.

I really feel for you, but you know 27 is a brilliant age - you're so young, far too young to saddle yourself with a twat like that.

Original poster
Cleanuponaisle1 · 23/12/2023 16:16

I’ve just had a big cry. But I will say you lovely posters have really made me feel better. I’ve made threads under a different username before but never one that’s asked for support. I’ve never experienced support like you women have given me and it’s a truly appreciated and magical thing to feel the love of other women.

OP posts:
MILTOBE · 23/12/2023 16:20

I think what you have here is a huge group of women who wish they'd made different decisions at the point you are in your life, or who have seen friends and children make similar bad decisions and they are all rooting for you to do what's best for you.

AcrossthePond55 · 23/12/2023 21:54

MILTOBE · 23/12/2023 16:20

I think what you have here is a huge group of women who wish they'd made different decisions at the point you are in your life, or who have seen friends and children make similar bad decisions and they are all rooting for you to do what's best for you.

I think this is very true. I doubt very much if there are many women alive who have not either been in or seen someone go through a bad relationship. Some have been lucky enough to get out and rebuild, others are still 'stuck' in that relationship, or in denial. And we don't want to see others suffer what we or our loved ones have suffered.

MN is a place where women come to vent or cry. And where other women (and yes, sometimes men) want to offer words of wisdom or comfort. For a 'nest of vipers', it's a great 'soft place to land'.

scoobysnaxx · 23/12/2023 22:08

Cleanuponaisle1 · 23/12/2023 16:16

I’ve just had a big cry. But I will say you lovely posters have really made me feel better. I’ve made threads under a different username before but never one that’s asked for support. I’ve never experienced support like you women have given me and it’s a truly appreciated and magical thing to feel the love of other women.

Pain is temporary, pride is forever.

Don't let this chump take anything joy away from you this Christmas.

Start a brand new fresh year with a new attitude and new focus like the boss bitch you are.

Cheesey but true 🤣

Bunnie007 · 23/12/2023 22:39

Well done for doing the right thing and ending this relationship. The very fact he has chosen to message you that he is with another woman, tells me you have made the right decision. You can start 2024 with a clean slate and although Christmas will be hard you will get through it. It is so much better to be single that with the wrong person! Block him etc so he can’t contact you. Stay off Instagram etc You will never regret a dignified silence. Stay strong

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