I fucked up

[Goldiex]

I broke up with my ex in july due to him cheating on me. I tried hard to reconcile until november. I couldnt do it.

December 1st my mum became unwell suddenly and she just passed away.

I am drowning in grief, loss, heartache and pain. I drank tonight and I fucking texted him saying 'love you forever'

Im embarassed already for the non reply cos he's out with another woman / rude reply because i couldnt forgive.

Why did i do it 😞

dont overthink it. honestly i’d send another one saying oops wrong person then block his number so you cant do it again 😅 so sorry about your mum by the way x

I’m sorry about your mum. Don’t worry about the other thing, you had a weak moment and did something daft.

I agree with PP, say oops wrong number and block!

I agree with the above - brush it off with “oops sorry wrong person 🤣”

Forget about it, it's a drunken text. Put the phone away tonight. Anyone with a shred of decency would get the score.

I feel so stupid. He doesnt know she passed away so probably thinks im trying to get him back which makes me feel more stupid as he is probably literally balls deep in another lady 😞

I'm so sorry about your mum, that's no age & so sudden xx

if that's the worst thing you've done, forgive yourself!

you did it because you're human & grieving for your mum. You wanted some comfort & some love.

you wanted him to prove he still loves you, that you're still loveable.

almost all of us will have done similar things.

do whatever makes this easier/better for you. Ignore or send another text. Sorry I was drunk. I would have loved you forever if you hadn't been a wanker & cheated on me. But no chance now, sorry.

i wouldn't be mean for the sake of it by saying it was meant for someone else.

maybe he hasn't read your text yet.

try not to worry about having sent it or his so far no reply.

is there a family member or friend you can go and get some hugs from??

try not to leave yourself too vulnerable to him at the moment. Remember what a cheating bastard he was!! You don't owe him forgiveness.

Oh bless you OP. So sorry for your loss. It's the grief, it's so recent and you will still be in shock. it's natural to reach out to the familiar or feel overwhelmed with emotions at this time. These types of losses rock your entire foundation of safety. It really doesn't matter what he's doing or what he thinks of it, he's a dick.

I'd probably send a quick message apologising, explain that your DM has passed and it stems from that but ultimately isn't true and you regret having sent it; then block. Equally I think it's fine to just block and forget it. Most crucially, forget him entirely for now and focus on yourself and getting through this.

Reach out to friends IRL if you can and keep family close if you have them. Cruse bereavement are very good for a chat on the telephone if you need one. Years ago my partner died suddenly in my twenties and they really got me through the lowest points of that, the things that only those who have grieved a life changing loss themselves can really help with.

Ive never suffered loss before. I still have all 4 grandparents, never lost a friend or s distant cousin and she got ill a matter of days after we finished for good.

I have blocked out of sheer embarassement and i can humour myself he replied saying the same and begged for me back.

I dont know why i did it, ive been in hospital for 3.5 weeks watching her deteriorate, buried her, took care of my child and my dad, 3 brothers, all while going throught a break up i didnt want. I feel mortified i gave him safisfaction 😔

Sorry about losing your mum OP. Understandably you are going through a tough time so give yourself a break hun. You can just text him later explaining your situation (and the drink induced post) and that he not to pay any heed to it.

Take care of yourself.

Can you not delete the text… or unsend it?

You could say the message was intended for your sister/brother as they were sad because your mum has passed. You’ve had an awful time - you’ll get there but it’ll take time. Sorry for your loss.x. Take his number off your phone x

He's a cheating wanker - it matters not one jot what he thinks of you or your text. Put it out of your mind.

I'm sorry for your loss

I’m so sorry about your mum. Grief brings up a plethora of emotions and, for me, it through into relief that life is finite and made me crave connection.

I did the same as you. Told my ex I loved and missed him. Was met with silence. This was three months ago and I promise the embarrassment fades.

you haven’t fucked up. You did something very human. I hope you’re able to be kind to yourself and have a peaceful Christmas.

Wait until tomorrow then text him saying something like ...

"My mum sadly passed away and I got drunk last night and sent everyone emotional messages, you included. Sorry and please ignore. Enjoy your Christmas."

This message is great.

Who cares what he thinks, OP. It's not even about him, it's about your grief. He's insignificant.

Don't beat yourself up about one little message. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.

This is perfect.

So sorry about your mum.

This is perfect, do this. And give the drinking a miss over Christmas it's just way too emotional when you're grieving(I found this out the hard way too)

I just woke up and remembered 😭

Thank you all for being kind about it. I had an emotional, long day and i do still love him. I just feel really weak and embarassed as he was probably in bed or out with someone else. I keep picturing him seeing it and being smug/laughing at me.

I dont think im going to follow up with another message. Ive given him enough satisfaction as it is.

Brilliant 🤩