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Original poster

Bloke changed seat and decided to sit next to me on the half empty last bus from town.

18 replies

cakeorwine · 22/12/2023 23:52

Just had a fun night out and got the last bus home. Sat at the back of the bus on the back seat by the window. I saw a bloke looking at me as I got on. He then got up, and deliberately sat next to me. There was just on other person on the back row.

I wondered if I knew him. He said hello. I said "Do you know me?". He said "No". He then asked me my name. He then said nothing but just sat next to me for about 4 stops.

I then moved seats to be nearer the front. I was thinking what stop do I get off at? If I got off, was he going to follow me? Do I suddenly make a move to get off or decide not to?

Whilst I was thinking this, the bloke did get off. He looked a bit drunk.

It was unnerving until he got off.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 22/12/2023 23:58

Ugh. I had a bloke decide to sit next to me on a nearly empty bus when I was about 14. That's when I learned to choose aisle seats rather than window.

KissTheRains · 23/12/2023 00:04

I pick the little seats behind the driver if I can.

Sometimes if there's a woman on the bus I'll sit near to her and say hello as I sit down.

Never sit at the back near a window at night, you're basically trapped there. Aisle seat, bag on window seat, headphones in.

StarlightLady · 23/12/2023 05:55

I’ve had similar, a man got on and sat next to me on a double seat immediately on boarding, when the bus was quite empty; it’s horrible.

On this occasion l just sad excuse me and got up and sat behind the driver. Fortunately he got off first. With hindsight another tactic could be to make a fake call and say, you’ll be at your usual stop in 15 minutes perhaps?

Rayna37 · 23/12/2023 07:08

I can't imagine a scenario where I wouldn't just say "Seriously?! An empty bus and you sit there?!".

As I think so often on Mumsnet, people behave badly if you let them.

BippityBopper · 23/12/2023 07:25

Rayna37 · 23/12/2023 07:08

I can't imagine a scenario where I wouldn't just say "Seriously?! An empty bus and you sit there?!".

As I think so often on Mumsnet, people behave badly if you let them.

🙄
I don't think that ideology successfully applies to every situation.

Confronting a strange man on a near empty bus as a lone female could be a recipe for disaster.

autienotnaughty · 23/12/2023 07:26

It's crap we have to think about stuff like this but on a quiet bus I would sit near the driver. I'd also if I felt concerned ring partner/mum/friend and have a "just on the bus be home in ten" conversation regardless of wether I was going home to them. If I was really worried I'd ask someone to meet me.

Scarletttulips · 23/12/2023 07:29

I told my daughter to pick the aisle seat on the left side to be visible to the driver. Like PP said bag on the window seat - if someone looks like they want you to move over - refuse and stay seated.

Shame we have to do this.

DustyLee123 · 23/12/2023 07:30

I agree, you need to sit near the driver, preferably where he can see you in the mirror.

ofestivetree · 23/12/2023 07:33

Rayna37 · 23/12/2023 07:08

I can't imagine a scenario where I wouldn't just say "Seriously?! An empty bus and you sit there?!".

As I think so often on Mumsnet, people behave badly if you let them.

In my head I'd want to say it but no I just can't. It's the fear of starting confrontation. Of having to deal with an insult or an angry drunk man.

What I've found works well is to pretend you're getting off at the next stop and say excuse me as if you would if you were getting off. If you need more space as they are too close ask for it say a bit more room please. And then go and sit in another seat nearer the front.

Mischance · 23/12/2023 07:41

This happened to my DD on a crowded bus and he groped her ... same man stalked her. Police were useless ... they eventually caught him ... we all heaved a big sigh of relief. Next day they released him as it was a first offence.

MurielThrockmorton · 23/12/2023 07:46

Rayna37 · 23/12/2023 07:08

I can't imagine a scenario where I wouldn't just say "Seriously?! An empty bus and you sit there?!".

As I think so often on Mumsnet, people behave badly if you let them.

I used to challenge men until one attacked me as a result, there are many reasons why women stay quiet.

Original poster
cakeorwine · 23/12/2023 07:54

It was just such a surprise. I saw him look at me when I got on and I wondered if I knew him. He then blatantly got up and moved seats.

OP posts:
ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 23/12/2023 08:05

Rayna37 · 23/12/2023 07:08

I can't imagine a scenario where I wouldn't just say "Seriously?! An empty bus and you sit there?!".

As I think so often on Mumsnet, people behave badly if you let them.

During the day maybe but on a night bus, that would be unwise. I have met a number of nasty blokes on night buses over the years. Personally I would have moved.

palmtreesoliveleaves · 23/12/2023 08:06

Bloody men. This reminds me of a time when I was in McDonalds before work at 7.30am. It was busy with all the tables taken by 1 person at each. A man came up to mine and said is anyone sitting here. I said yes and he buggered off. He looked homeless and drunk. I was not going to "be kind" and let him sit next to me when there was a lot of men sitting on their own that he could have asked. I felt threatened and uncomfortable. So much so I still think of it years later.

This is 100% a man thing. They can fuck right off as far as I'm concerned. Agree with PPs for next time. Don't give them the opportunity, sit on the aisle seat etc. Yes we can rage that we shouldn't have to think about these things but we do so we should.

IcouldbutIdontwantto · 23/12/2023 08:06

A similar thing happened to me a few years ago. In my case, it was just a guy who'd had a good night out with mates and fancied a chat with someone on the way home. After a few minutes, he realised that perhaps sitting next to a lone woman on an empty bus might come across the wrong way and moved 😆

sweetgingercat · 23/12/2023 08:35

Sorry that happened to you. It’s horrible. I had a man do this to me in a half empty night tube on the way home. He also reached a long spidery hand round the back of the seat and tried to feel my arse. Why didn’t I shout at him? I was scared he’d get angry with me and other people wouldn’t help. At my stop he got off after me so I jumped back on and got off at the next stop, having to walk a hour home. I still remember the fear…

Merrypoomassaytheelves · 23/12/2023 08:50

This happened to me when I was around 18, in the late afternoon when I was sat fairly near the front. He sat right next to me first, then right behind me and put his hand under my bum, it was awful. A lovely lady came down and loudly said for me to sit further down the front. It was very scary and I thought he was going to get off at the same stop and follow me, luckily he didn’t.

Maray1967 · 08/05/2024 18:34

Scarletttulips · 23/12/2023 07:29

I told my daughter to pick the aisle seat on the left side to be visible to the driver. Like PP said bag on the window seat - if someone looks like they want you to move over - refuse and stay seated.

Shame we have to do this.

Yes - if no seats are left, you can stand up and give the window seat to someone and keep yourself in the aisle seat.

Always sit near the front where the driver can see you, if possible.

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