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Original poster

Can anyone else not cope with really busy places?

26 replies

redcar28 · 22/12/2023 23:06

Is this normal or is it me? I absolutely hate busy places, and obviously it's worse at the moment because of Christmas. I absolutely dread going anywhere if I think it might be busy. I try to avoid going but sometimes it's not always possible, then when I'm there I just can't wait to get out.

Anybody else the same or do people generally find it manageable?

OP posts:

IWishThatICouldBeWorryFree · 22/12/2023 23:15

I hate it. It has got worse as I’ve got older. The noise, and just having people so near me, is unbearable. It’s suffocating. I feel tense, agitated and, if I can’t leave or escape, I end up feeling really panicked.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 22/12/2023 23:16

Sensory overload central. AVOID!

Shopgirl1 · 22/12/2023 23:20

I hate it too. Cant move at the pace I want to, people bumping into me, trolley chaos. I’ll be at the supermarket at 7am tomorrow morning to try and avoid it as much as possible.

scoobydoo1971 · 22/12/2023 23:24

I am not a big fan of Christmas, but I hate shopping centres and large retail outlets. The lighting makes me feel sick, and all the noise and people is almost painful to tolerate. I am having treatment for sarcoma so I have an excuse to stay away. One of my children has sensory processing disorder due to autism. She cannot tolerate loud noise and flashing lights at all so we do lots of online shopping now. I bet the couriers hate me with a passion :-). Joking aside, I do feel for them running about trying to meet their targets.

3luckystars · 22/12/2023 23:25

Im kind of ok with concerts and show crowds, entering and exiting (so long as I’m not up against a wall or barrier and so long as I have a seat at the show itself)

I do not like shopping crowds because it makes me a bit sad that everyone is buying more and more and I hate being caught up in that. It feels bad to me to be part of that.

And I get unbelievably stressed if my children are with me in crowds.

So in summary: sometimes yes but for music I will tolerate it!

EmmaEmerald · 22/12/2023 23:26

mostly worked from home from 2016.

if I want to go anywhere, my first question is can I cope with the sensory overload of the travel. I think maybe 20 years of commuting created a sensory overload problem.

I also can’t cope with the visual effects of lots of people

I got in the habit of shopping as late as possible in London. After moving out, I mostly get deliveries.

I prefer a small shop to a bigger one as well.

MuggleMe · 22/12/2023 23:31

Me! Was on the verge of walking out of tesco this afternoon. Had to buy a last minute present so only had a few things. People with trolleys were even queueing for the self check out mini tills.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 22/12/2023 23:33

I can cope with some busy environments like a concert but hate shops or public transport etc, I mostly avoid busy times now but will leave if somewhere is too busy. I have autism but busy crowded places didn’t really bother me when I was younger so not sure if it’s related or whether it’s an age thing.

justanothermummma · 22/12/2023 23:41

Can't stand busy places, the quieter the better, total sensory overload!!

Even when I want to go to a concert, the business aspect almost always prevents me from going but I ultimately power through.

All I can suggest is moving north of Tebay, it's practically silent in comparison to a big city, even on a busy day!

mrsfollowill · 22/12/2023 23:52

My DS has autism- you might not really notice the first time you meet him as he is just seen as 'quirky' by some and and an entirely normal lad by others. He hates crowded places and noise- the loud babble of voices in a busy place makes him feel so bad.
He knows the signs of sensory overload so when he can he will escape and go somewhere quiet and chill. He has got some special earplugs that dull the noise but still allow him to have a conversation- they are very discreet and really help him in crowded places- they were £12 from Amazon so not out of reach for most. Much sympathy to anyone who suffers like this- I'm the total opposite and very extrovert.

heartsinvisiblefury · 22/12/2023 23:55

I'm with you OP, I hate it. It's got worse as I've got older but I go out of my way to avoid people and crowds now.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 22/12/2023 23:57

@mrsfollowill yep agree about the ear plugs, I have the flares. Which massively help, it’s all the added kerfuffle, which I can’t really do anything about.

Fortunately/unfortunately (depending which side of the bank account you are) online shopping helps and it’s only stonkingly horrible a few times a year here.

Crunchingleaf · 23/12/2023 00:04

I don’t mind concerts, matches or other fun activities. I can just be in the moment and enjoy the buzz.

In general I find that I don’t have the patience for packed shops and supermarkets especially since the baby and toddler came along. I don’t have time for people dawdling along getting in the way and the less said about queues in supermarkets the he better. Maybe shopping centres could have a fast lane for those of us who want to get in and get out at a reasonable pace before we get completely enraged by being surrounded by people.

spiderlight · 23/12/2023 00:07

Me! I hate shops in particular - total sensory overload, especially at this time of year. I strongly suspect I'm autistic and I also get severe migraines in brightly lit places.

justanothermummma · 23/12/2023 00:10

There are earplugs designed for busy situations, my best friend has them and it helps loads, they're called Loop Earplugs and they have different 'levels' in terms of what you can hear x

EmmaEmerald · 23/12/2023 00:12

justanothermummma · 23/12/2023 00:10

There are earplugs designed for busy situations, my best friend has them and it helps loads, they're called Loop Earplugs and they have different 'levels' in terms of what you can hear x

Sadly, I found these no help at all. Noise cancelling is way better for things like train stations.

if you want to hear some noises, with Loop, and other brands, any earplugs will do the same, I found.

HarryOHayandBettyOBarley · 23/12/2023 00:15

I dislike it too although I don't have sensory issues. I dislike the crowds, the slow pace of people ambling through aisles when I'm trying to pass them. I dislike the queues at the cashier counter. It makes me feel impatient and physically hot. I can't wait to get out of shopping centres particularly.

justanothermummma · 23/12/2023 00:37

@EmmaEmerald what a shame! I guess it's all down to personal preference.

Although earplugs do naff all for crowds, slow walkers and queues which always make me feel hot, flushed and stressed, ha!

JenniferJupiterVenusandMars · 23/12/2023 06:48

IWishThatICouldBeWorryFree · 22/12/2023 23:15

Me too, my tolerance in such situations is nearly zero.

Ambi · 23/12/2023 06:56

Yes I hate it too and I feel it makes the kids suffer as I don't like taking them somewhere that will be busy, particularly in school holidays. Thankfully my eldest is a people avoider too.

Traffic bugs me, searching for a parking space is a pain, queueing for things, swerving around dawdlers/ people on phones, not finding a table if you are eating out or taking ages to get served. It all just sucks the fun out the day out and I'd rather be at home.

Username5678910 · 23/12/2023 06:58

I don't mind, clubs, concerts or festivals but crowded shops or restaurants just make me feel really uncomfortable.

I zone out if it's too crowded and it takes me a while to get back to normal. I just end up leaving without half of what I went for or not paying attention in restaurants.

Need to get some bread and am dreading going to the shops today.

Ladyj84 · 23/12/2023 07:01

I have mild autism and it's a nightmare. I try very very hard to avoid shops,crowds etc. Usually I get a Tesco shop each week and totally forgot to click the book slot so ended up in Lidl yesterday and I reckon I was the quickest shopped there in all the upheaval it's a nightmare for me

Gowlett · 23/12/2023 07:03

7am is often the busiest time at a supermarket on 23 Dec.

Vettrianofan · 23/12/2023 07:05

Can't stand busy places. Most recently had to attend school events where all parents were packed in like sardines. Horrible.

I avoid shopping at this time of year. DH did food shop yesterday. He said that it was mobbed with people.

Heatherbell1978 · 23/12/2023 07:07

Yes and it's got much worse with age. I'll avoid situations that are crowded as much as possible. I live in a city which is over-run by tourists at certain times of the year and I hate it.

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