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Original poster

Boxing day last yr ruined, how would you feel?

16 replies

Snowdays23 · 22/12/2023 21:40

Hi everyone
Last year I wanted to host Boxing day at mine for my Mum, SD and half sisters. They dont really come over together, only my mum on her own. My SD is like a food expert and criticisms cooking.
I was excited to host. Cooked 3 HM curries from scratch, spent a lot of time planning and making sure everything would be perfect.
Boxing day, my mum and 1 sister turns up. Then she tells me SD is hung over and probably wont come, Other sister will make an appearance for an hour.....
I was so upset that SD didnt make the effort to come over. All the effort I put into cooking. I have only seen him twice this year I think.
I am on my own with my 3 DDs and are going there for Boxing day and am dreading it.
I still feel so hurt by this even a year later but need to move on!

OP posts:
TigerOnTour · 22/12/2023 21:50

How old is SD? At 18 I could overlook this but less so at 38.

You do probably need to move on though! Just go and enjoy your mum's company.

CharmedCult · 22/12/2023 21:52

TigerOnTour · 22/12/2023 21:50

How old is SD? At 18 I could overlook this but less so at 38.

You do probably need to move on though! Just go and enjoy your mum's company.

I think SD is step-dad.

Original poster
Snowdays23 · 22/12/2023 21:53

Sorry Step dad, hmm 63 maybe x

OP posts:

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Janieforever · 22/12/2023 21:54

Did he maybe not realise how key it was to you? Lots of people don’t for Boxing Day. He sounds like a twat though, why are you trying to impress him, and why is it relevant you’re single?

Original poster
Snowdays23 · 22/12/2023 22:08

Its not relevant im single, nearly didnt mention it, sorry. Just spent so much time making sure everything was right for the day. I always feel I have to impress him, not that I see him much but when we go to theirs hes so arrogant and patronising and I hate it

OP posts:
TigerOnTour · 22/12/2023 22:09

Sorry, I thought it was mum's step daughter being a miserable teenager!

Janieforever · 22/12/2023 22:12

Snowdays23 · 22/12/2023 22:08

Its not relevant im single, nearly didnt mention it, sorry. Just spent so much time making sure everything was right for the day. I always feel I have to impress him, not that I see him much but when we go to theirs hes so arrogant and patronising and I hate it

It did come across odd, like he was the guest of honour and you were trying to impress him and then saying you’re single, that you made all the effort for him and you can’t forgive that he didn’t come and visit you,

I don’t know but something not right there,

Original poster
Snowdays23 · 22/12/2023 22:21

he is my step dad. I put all the effort in to host boxing day at home so my children and I could stay at home and not travel for once.
Cooked some lovely curries (Step dad puts everyone down and its a competiton in his eyes)
Then he decides not to come because hes too hung over and doesnt want to spend the day with his loads of women (his wife, 2 daughters, 1 step daughter me, his granchildren).....

OP posts:
Janieforever · 22/12/2023 22:23

His women? Maybe you just have a different way of expressing yourself. None of you are his women, other than his wife.

Tonight1 · 22/12/2023 22:25

HM means homemade? I'd put last year and the grumpy hungover git behind you and go this year and enjoy yourself

Original poster
Snowdays23 · 22/12/2023 22:26

homemade!!!

OP posts:
thistimelastweek · 22/12/2023 22:31

You are giving this man way too much power.

Ask yourself why and how you can change it.

OnlyCorrect · 22/12/2023 22:37

Am I missing something, why do you want to see more of this toxic individual??

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 22/12/2023 22:46

Just go if you want to go to see your mum, are you children excited about seeing their nana. If not then just stay home and relax in your own home and chill out and don't let stepdad have any more control over you. I take it from your explanation that things have never been easy with him and he is over critical and a bit of a pain in the arse. I would just stay home and enjoy some games with children and watch a movie and eat your lovely home made cooking. Can you not meet up with your mum on your own for a coffee, chat etc without him there as you will be relaxed then.

Diggerdriverless · 22/12/2023 23:06

He's a rude, grumpy man who drinks more than he can handle. Don't feel that he's superior to you in any way. If you go to visit them on Boxing Day try to relax and enjoy being with your mum. Next time they are scheduled to visit you don't go to so much trouble (I would maybe get in frozen pizzas) unless you really like cooking and will eat any leftovers.

UsingChangeofName · 22/12/2023 23:16

I can't see how it was ruined.
You still had the people you loved there and were probably more relaxed without feeling he was judging your cooking.
He is the one who ought to have been embarrassed - but that was a year ago. Really not something to be giving headspace to 52 weeks later Confused

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