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Original poster

Anyone by themselves tonight and fancy a chat?

54 replies

Amithatbad1 · 22/12/2023 19:34

As the title suggests.
I'm by myself tonight, 2 adult children are out and I'm feeling a bit low. Got tons of things to do but it's all feeling a bit over-whelming so I'm procrastinating - a skill brought on by the menopause!
Anyway, I just wondered if anyone else was feeling lonely and fancied a chat?

OP posts:
Original poster
Amithatbad1 · 22/12/2023 21:48

I can't find Gilded Age, is it on Netflix?
What happened at the Click and Collect christmaspawpaws?

OP posts:
Sprig1 · 22/12/2023 21:50

Do you like puzzles? I have recently got in to them and can spend hours st a time on one while I am home alone. I pick them up at charity shops so it barely costs me anything.

christmaspawpaws · 22/12/2023 21:54

Amithatbad1 · 22/12/2023 21:48

I can't find Gilded Age, is it on Netflix?
What happened at the Click and Collect christmaspawpaws?

So everything was going fine then they couldn't find my fridge stuff
Turns out another customer had taken it. They rang the customer to bring it back, and they brought back half of it
By this time I was pretty annoyed so they went and picked my shopping from the store

45 mins later I had my shop, they gave me the stuff the customer brought back as well as my original order and a £20 gift card

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YorkshireIndie · 22/12/2023 21:56

If you ever feel like you want someone to talk to give the silver line a call. There is someone on the end of the line 24/7

Original poster
Amithatbad1 · 22/12/2023 22:16

Thank you Yorkshire Indie but that's for people over 55, I'm only early 40's.
Waa the faff worth it for the gift card christmaspawpaws?
I'm heading into my local city tomorrow for last bits and pieces and to do food shopping - I've a feeling I'm going to come back in a terrible mood! I hate crowds but unfortunately needs must!

OP posts:
christmaspawpaws · 22/12/2023 22:21

I'm not too sure Grin
Home, full fridge and have started watching Bones from the start again

Ratfinkstinkypink · 22/12/2023 22:26

Hello from another widow, this is my second Christmas of widowhood and it's hit me like a train these last few days. I gave up pretending I could do this at 8pm and am now in bed. I am allowing myself to wallow tonight as tomorrow I am going to slap my game face on for Christmas and see the (adult) kids.

We are going to Luminate tomorrow night which I am quite looking forward to. I hope you shopping spree isn't too anger inducing.

catlovingdoctor · 22/12/2023 22:33

Checking in with you all and also to say I feel similar. I feel everyone except me has had a December full of parties, social stuff and fun plans with friends and family. Made worse by having a milestone birthday which was a bit rubbish a couple of weeks back. I am ruminating over the friends who have left me/ drifted apart over the past couple of years. I hope 2024 brings me more peace in myself and to you all too. ✨️

Original poster
Amithatbad1 · 22/12/2023 22:38

Hi Ratfinkstinkypink,
Sorry for your loss.
It's so exhausting keeping the game face on though, isn't it?
Want of me wants to lay in tomorrow and enjoy the start of the weekend but the other part knows the earlier I go to town the less queues I'll have to battle!

OP posts:
Boredatthemoment · 22/12/2023 22:48

Sorry for your losses. @Amithatbad1 @Ratfinkstinkypink
my partner of 20 years died in 2020 I hit a big low on Christmas Day 2021.
So now I hate Christmas.
2023 has been so awful. I was very ill at Easter and haven’t completely recovered.
I have a significant birthday at the end of 2024 so hope things will get better. Off to bed now. Will try and get motivated tomorrow - I don’t even have a Christmas tree this year.

Coffeesnob11 · 22/12/2023 22:51

So I finished world's strongest man and am watching Jack Ryan on prime wholst scrubbing the second hand bike I bought ds5 for Christmas. I just opened some rum and raisin ice cream but it's very disappointing.
I am sorry for your losses. I can't begin to understand your emotions but virtual hugs. I left mine as he is an alcoholic. He is alive (but not well) but we don't see him.
I like reacher on prime. The next 2 are out today I think. Its one of the only shows where I have read the books and don't mind the tv series. Usually I hate it as I have fixed ideas of how people should look/act.

StockholmHearts · 22/12/2023 23:02

Sorry so many others aren’t feeling the joys of the season. Sending hugs to you all.

First Christmas by myself. Made the mistake a checking emails and had messages from the arsehole I’m mid divorce with. Meant to be starting mediation but he’s really not demonstrating good faith. Was dreading it before (he’s sly, manipulative and a liar) but not I’m even more worried.

Hating the holidays. Work is closed won’t see or talk to anyone until 4th January. Can imagine where my head will be until then. Don’t want to spend the whole time doing mediation paperwork with nothing/no one to distract me but it needs to be done.

I was looking forward to Reacher too @Coffeesnob11 but hadn’t realised all the episodes weren’t on all at once so I’m waiting. I re-watched the first series though.

StockholmHearts · 22/12/2023 23:05

@christmaspawpaws Bones is on my watch to distract list too.

SchrodingersKitty · 22/12/2023 23:35

So sorry for your losses, @Amithatbad1, @Boredatthemoment, @Ratfinkstinkypink. I'm another member of the widow club: my DH died in 2020. I was basically in shock for two years I think, and still not over it. This year has been mostly about me caring for my elderly parents, both of whom spent a lot of time in hospital (5 months in my dad's case). It just never seems to stop. I'm back at home with my young adult DS at the moment, but gearing myself up for post-Christmas caring slog. It's hard to feel very festive.

Original poster
Amithatbad1 · 22/12/2023 23:40

So sorry that there are so many people suffering from a loss/separation /divorce.
But I'm not sure my low mood is purely down to grief, I thinks it's that I don't really like the person I have become.
I used to love Christmas, I'd be farting glitter for the whole of December!
The children loved the magical aspect. I only worked part-time and would have presents bought by beginning of Dec, would spend the first week blitzing the house, scrubbing skirting boards, painting walls then the weekend decorating tree and covering the house in fairy lights and decorations. Now I've a mountain of washing, the bathroom needs a good scrub, I only put the tree up last weekend and actually I didn't, I got the kids to do it and haven't even bothered rearranging the baubles! There are no other decorations up because I don't have the energy and I've still got presents to buy!
The fun loving, organised person I was has disappeared and I'm just a sad, tired, procrastinator whose constantly chasing her tail because I've left everything to the last minute and Christmas just emphasises this.
I couldn't find Gilded Cage and so watched the Wham documentary instead.
Now I'm going to bed and will hopefully get some sleep and feel better in the morning.
Thank you to all who kept me company tonight! It's comforting to know I'm not the only one alone.

OP posts:
IVFlife · 22/12/2023 23:45

Hello. Hope you sleep well. If you aren't on hrt then I do recommend it

kimf1963 · 22/12/2023 23:46

Oh Op you have every reason to cry, it’s Christmas and it’s so bloody unfair that your husband isn’t here, life is so cruel, I hope you get through Christmas, I put a brave face on for my girls but I just wanted to lie in bed and cry all day ,wish I could give you a hug, I’ve been through the same, it’s bloody awful. Sending you much love.

WowOK · 22/12/2023 23:47

Amithatbad1 · 22/12/2023 22:16

Thank you Yorkshire Indie but that's for people over 55, I'm only early 40's.
Waa the faff worth it for the gift card christmaspawpaws?
I'm heading into my local city tomorrow for last bits and pieces and to do food shopping - I've a feeling I'm going to come back in a terrible mood! I hate crowds but unfortunately needs must!

My husband did the food shop tonight. He spent £150 on nothing. There's not one thing special or out of the ordinary that he got. Apparently, of the 3 supermarket not one had a Yule log or crackers. I'm not even doing a roast. I was doing party foods but he didn't get anything I wanted. I asked for finest or marks party food. Anyhow, I don't want to eat the shit he's got. I certainly don't want to bother my arse cooking it.

babbi · 22/12/2023 23:51

Take care OP x
Its tough and I’m so sorry for your loss xx

StockholmHearts · 22/12/2023 23:52

@SchrodingersKitty sorry to hear about your parents. I had that this year with one of my parents. It’s draining.

@WowOK Understand the not bothering to cook. I certainly can’t. It’s cheese and crackers for me. Now feeling like a curry so might go shopping tomorrow.

WowOK · 23/12/2023 00:19

StockholmHearts · 22/12/2023 23:52

@SchrodingersKitty sorry to hear about your parents. I had that this year with one of my parents. It’s draining.

@WowOK Understand the not bothering to cook. I certainly can’t. It’s cheese and crackers for me. Now feeling like a curry so might go shopping tomorrow.

It's not the cooking. It's cooking shit I didn't ask for and don't want to eat. I wrote a list. I even told him where to get different things and their position in the shop. As usual he did what he wanted. The budget has been spent and now I'm expected to either rustle up an amazing spead out of fuck all or pull more money out of my arse to shop again. I can't do it. Its not a Christmas thing it's constant. I'm sick of it. I just wish I did everything on my own. At least it would be what I want.

StockholmHearts · 23/12/2023 00:47

Apologies @WowOK I misunderstood. That’s worse. As much as I get lonely I don’t miss shovelling other people’s crap and feeling I have to capitulate to keep the peace.

WowOK · 23/12/2023 00:53

StockholmHearts · 23/12/2023 00:47

Apologies @WowOK I misunderstood. That’s worse. As much as I get lonely I don’t miss shovelling other people’s crap and feeling I have to capitulate to keep the peace.

I don't know I often wonder if the grass is greener. My single friends are so desperately looking for relationships. They want marriage and living together. I wouldn't go anywhere near another man if I divorced H. Honestly, I might shag them but I wouldn't live with one ever again.

ETA: is it lonelier to be with someone who doesn't listen or care what you want. Someone who doesn't see you or to actually be alone?

StockholmHearts · 23/12/2023 01:21

@WowOK divorce isn’t pleasant. It’s starting again and every single thing you’ve worked for is gone.

I was with someone who care or see me - it just became normal. It’s a different kind of lonely now. In someways it’s better in others it’s not.

Still trying to work out if the grass is greener.

Browniesandcustard · 23/12/2023 03:55

@StockholmHearts I’ve just started divorce proceedings and it’s shattered me. He’s off having a lovely time with his new girlfriend and I’m left sorting everything. I’m late 40’s and tonight I don’t have the mental strength for it all.