Advice from poor sleepers / insomniacs

[Curlewwoohoo]

I'm finding my daughters body clock really difficult. She's 9yo. She currently gets taken up to bed 8:50 but can't drop off until gone 11. I'm then waking her at 7:30.

I don't want her staying up later than this, mainly because I get an hour with dh to watch telly or chat before going to bed myself. But she's fighting against her body clock I think. She's never been much of a sleeper. She was prescribed melatonin at one point.

Should I wake her earlier to help her get to sleep at night? Then she's tired in the day though and difficult. Should I let her sleep in, so she's getting what she needs?

When she can't sleep, I've fallen into letting her have her tablet to listen to audio books. Is that OK? I'm trying to instil some self sufficiency where if she can't sleep, she's not disturbing others. What do other people do if they can't sleep?

Before I did this she would just call me, which was keeping me up. We are a sleep mismatch, I can't do late! I know this is going to get worse as she gets to be a teenager. I'll go up to bed before her then, but wondering what age is OK to do that!

Thinking there's a point where I might give her a telly in her room so dh and I can still watch our own TV for that hour. Would that be a bad idea? What age is appropriate?

Help please...

I don’t think a tv in her room is the best solution, it could stimulate her rather than help her sleep.
Does she read? Does she have a good, relaxing sleep routine? Is she getting enough exercise in the day? What is her diet like?

I’ve got one of these (actually I have one early waker and one night owl… win win 😬). My night owl is 8.

Do you still have the melatonin? We use it for a few days every now and then when she’s really gotten into a late pattern and it does seem to help reset her. We also have to wake her by 7 on school days so that helps. And no screens for 1 hr before bedtime.

But the main thing that definitely helps is lots and lots of sports and exercise. I notice the days she hasn’t had much exercise are much worse for getting to sleep.

We are quite strict and won’t let her have tablet or audiobooks past bedtime, I think she needs to learn to be bored enough to drop off… if she has something interesting there is no incentive to sleep. I am a night owl myself (often stay up till gone 12) and know I would never fall asleep if I had something to do.

Pay attention to lighting, too. Keep evening lights soft and dim (softer & dimmer nearer bedtime) and consider a sunrise clock for mornings. She should be exposed to daylight as soon as she's awake. You can get twilight bulbs for lamps in the evening.

I don't think audio books are too much of an issue, I use them, but I always choose ones that aren't as interesting so I don't get too into them when I need to sleep.

Milk can help you get to sleep so a cup of warm or cold milk at bedtime.

Thanks for the thoughts! Thank you thank you

I have a younger ds who is an early bird too @minipie

TV in room I was thinking more about preserving some child free TV time for dh and I, but not yet, when she's a bit older and genuinely needs to be up until 10pm.

She is better when she's been busier and does lots of clubs, but most have finished for Xmas now.

We still have some melatonin but not much and I don't know if I will get any again so treat it like precious ... Is it still prescription only?

An obvious one, but does she drink anything caffeinated or eat dark chocolate which is quite high in caffeine? Cutting out all caffeine helped my sleep immensely.

No, it's me necking black coffee to get through!

Melatonin is prescription only in the UK I believe but you can buy it online from the US where it is much less regulated.

Might a gentle relaxation audio help?
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