Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How on earth do your children still believe in Santa?

153 replies

mauvish · 21/12/2023 22:23

As the title says. I get the impression that people think that their DC still believe in Santa right up to secondary school age.

How? When the answer to every question in the world is a few computer clicks away? When they will hear from other children at school?

I remember asking my mum outright when I was about 7 or 8, (about yr 3 I think) and that was because I was being teased mercilessly at school for being one of the last to still believe in Santa. Part of the reason that I still clung onto the belief is that I'd heard bells one Xmas night when I was awake (actually this was probably tinnitus secondary to my chronic glue ear but I didn't know that at the time! and convinced myself it was Father Xmas!). I also remember my daughter being told the truth by another child in front of me at school drop off when she was about 5 or 6.

So how on earth are children supposed to still believe in FC (etc) until a much later age nowadays, when in so many other respects they are far more wordly wise at a younger age?

OP posts:
howaboutchocolate · 22/12/2023 02:57

margotrose · 22/12/2023 00:28

I think it is quite sad when children of 7/8 have no ability for imaginative play.

There's a huge difference between imaginative play (that they know isn't real) and genuinely believing in Father Christmas.

Exactly. My DD is 4 and she has huge capacity for imaginative play. But she knows it's all make believe.

She doesn't "believe" in santa because we haven't forced the issue, she knows the story and wants to leave out milk and a mince pie for him but she knows it's not real she just likes to pretend. This way the magic can go on forever as there'll be no moment where she suddenly stops believing. We can always pretend.

RoseGoldEagle · 22/12/2023 04:03

I remember knowing (or being fairly sure!) but not telling my parents I knew because I thought they might be upset! I was about 8. Never had the ‘is he real?’ conversation and don’t think anyone told me. I always thought kids just worked it out as they got to an age where it was pretty obviously impossible- but then I hear of kids being told before starting secondary so obviously it doesn’t always happen.

notahappybunny7 · 22/12/2023 04:09

DappledThings · 21/12/2023 22:33

Apparently the year 6 children have been telling our year 3 children he isn't real and most of the class are concerned about this as they still believe.

Mine didn't believe by last year. Just off his own bat I think. About the same time he declared he didn't believe in God. He's of a scientific bent.

My daughter is year 3 and she is half and half but most of her classmates definitely believe!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations Primary education
PuttingDownRoots · 22/12/2023 05:03

I don't know when DDs actually stopped believing. DD1 played along for DD2 for a bit.

But having declared a couple of months ago that it wasn't actually real... I've found DD2 (now 10) looking about a bit wistful that it isn't as magical now. Deep down... I think she wanted one last year.

The desire to want the magic to be real even when logically you know it isn't can be very strong.

Bournetilly · 22/12/2023 05:21

I probably stopped believing around age 9/ year 5 but when I was that age we didn’t have free access to the internet or devices so it probably was a lot easier to keep it a secret.

I didn’t tell my mum I knew and must of kept up a good act, she still thought I believed at age 12 as I remember her telling my aunty. It wasn’t until my younger sister found the hidden present pile on Christmas Eve and showed me that my mum found out.

decionsdecisions62 · 22/12/2023 05:34

Out two are 18 and 24 and we still creep around after midnight filling their stocking. Yep it's quite crazy but they just love the Christmas myth so much.

stayathomer · 22/12/2023 06:26

ThickPinkSocks
Ours always knew he wasn’t, that people just give him a hand before Christmas 😅 All sounds fun! Happy Christmas!

JessicaBrassica · 22/12/2023 06:39

12yo asked yesterday. I think he knew. I think he's known for a couple of years but liked the idea that it might be possible.

He has access to the Internet. He's bright.

JustACountryMusicGirlInCowboyBoots · 22/12/2023 06:41

I've never understood the mumsnet thing of telling them before they go to high school that FC isn't real. Surely if they still believe but none of their friends do then they'd just pretend not to believe too? It's ok to believe in the virgin birth, Jesus walking on water and coming back from the dead but the jolly fat guy in a big red (or green) suit is ridiculous? I'm Roman Catholic (in theory) and believe the people existed and that the Christmas story is in part true. Just like St Nicolas was a real person and the Christmas traditions have grown around his story.

BingoMarieHeeler · 22/12/2023 06:48

I believe in Father Christmas because my kids get stockings every year 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I mean how does that happen…. FC is a concept and their stockings wouldn’t be filled if that concept didn’t exist 😄

MsJuniper · 22/12/2023 06:52

Goldbar · 21/12/2023 23:42

I think many adults forget what it is like being a child... the world is wonderful, nonsensical and bewildering on so many different levels. Have you seen the way children react to vending-machines or ice-cream machines as if they're something absolutely amazing?

Or maybe the adults who are amazed kids still believe just weren't those sorts of kids. But alongside the coolly logical ones who "twig" in early primary exist many children who spend years drifting in and out of magical fantasy worlds and for whom it really isn't that difficult to believe in Santa Claus.

I love this post. Beautifully put.

My DS is just 11 and when he was in Reception a friend said Santa wasn't real so we made an effort to keep things going; since then he's doubled down on his belief to the point where we might have to have a chat before secondary school. He is is very bright and definitely a child that marvels at the world around him. Imagination is a powerful force.

Finishingoff · 22/12/2023 06:53

OldChinaJug · 21/12/2023 22:55

Well I'm a primary school teacher.

I was astonished today when I realised that most of my year class still believe. And those who might have doubts/know otherwise, kept very quiet.

It was lovely tbh.

But which year do you teach?

Readyforrespite · 22/12/2023 07:08

MsJuniper · 22/12/2023 06:52

I love this post. Beautifully put.

My DS is just 11 and when he was in Reception a friend said Santa wasn't real so we made an effort to keep things going; since then he's doubled down on his belief to the point where we might have to have a chat before secondary school. He is is very bright and definitely a child that marvels at the world around him. Imagination is a powerful force.

Show quote history

Yes I love this. I wasn't ever 'told' I just eventually realised and said nothing as I had a younger sister. I certainly believed all the way through primary. To my knowledge all of my DS' year 2 friends still believe. We also have Elves that move around. Not the creepy type but lovely little Maileg Pixies. My DS is fully invested in them. Does anyone follow polar post on Instagram? She talks about Christmas in such a magical way, I think it's lovely. Adult life is long and boring, no need to subject a child to that before their time.

Girasoli · 22/12/2023 07:14

I think it's lovely how so many adults/official things go in on making Santa for DC.

I showed DS1 (7) a clip of the Irish government giving permission for Santa to enter their air space the other day as it popped up on my Instagram. He thought that was very sensible of them - you wouldn't want Santa go get shot down by accident.

Goldbar · 22/12/2023 07:21

Girasoli · 22/12/2023 07:14

I think it's lovely how so many adults/official things go in on making Santa for DC.

I showed DS1 (7) a clip of the Irish government giving permission for Santa to enter their air space the other day as it popped up on my Instagram. He thought that was very sensible of them - you wouldn't want Santa go get shot down by accident.

Your DS sounds very sweet and sensible - it would indeed be a disaster if Santa or the reindeers were taken out by anti-ballistic missiles 😂.

ConnieCroydon · 22/12/2023 07:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

sashh · 22/12/2023 07:53

I remember having a conversation with my brother one Xmas morning. Neither of us believed but decided we would pretend so our parents were not disappointed.

footiemum3 · 22/12/2023 07:57

I have twins one stopped believing at 3 the other believed at 11 when we told them he wasn’t real. The one who stopped believing young didn’t tell because they could see how excited their sibling was about Santa and didn’t want to spoil it, also think he liked us having our own little secret. If a child wants to believe I think they just do. My twins know that not all you read on the internet is true.

margotrose · 22/12/2023 08:00

Yet children believing in Father Christmas is somehow more worthy of challenge than adults devoutly believing in their specific religion.

I would challenge both. The existence of religion is crazy to me and the fact that so many grown adults blindly believe in it is even crazier.

popandchoc · 22/12/2023 08:01

My 8 year old is definitely suspicious this year . She told the dentist all the father christmases she’s seen have been different . I don’t think he knew what to say 😂

eldest daughter stopped believing around this age or slightly older I think .

I think it’s nice for them to believe but does shock me that some go to secondary still believing .

margotrose · 22/12/2023 08:03

Pozz · 22/12/2023 01:22

Maybe if you have fond memories yourself of the excitement of Santa you want to share that with your own kids for as long as you can.

Those saying their children know at age 6 to me it seems like the parents aren't that fussed about keeping the magic alive.

I have all those memories but I never believed in Santa.

Christmas was magical because my parents made it that way. And it stayed magical right through my teenage years because there was never some random year where I stopped "believing" and it all got ruined.

SingaporeSlinky · 22/12/2023 08:05

We’ve always kept it quite simple as I’ve heard lots of stories from friends and relatives about their children finding out accidentally and being devastated, and it’s usually because the parents have gone overboard. So telling their kids that the alarm sensor in the corner of the room is a ‘Santa Cam’ spying on them - the kids eventually were old enough to say that can’t be true as they know it’s for the burglar alarm. Or using apps that photoshop Santa into their sitting room, but their kids then find the app on the parents phone. Taking kids to multiple meet and greet events and it being a terrible version, causing lots of questions. Or Elf on the Shelf and getting caught in the act / forgetting one day / introducing too much detail etc.

We’ve always said the Santas in grottos are just pretending for fun, because the real Santa couldn’t possibly spend all that time sitting in shopping centres, and we don’t visit them. Any questions about him, I always say “I don’t know” rather than trying to make up more lies or elaborating. We have never done Elf on the Shelf. Santa fills a stocking only (and the tissue paper wrap is completely different to any paper we use), but all other presents are from us and relatives. Any questions about how he gets in the house without a chimney etc just get met with “I’ve got no idea”.

A friend had to break it to her 11 year old this year as she’s at secondary now and she was apparently in tears.

I think it’s lovely if a child can keep that innocence as long as possible.

Amana · 22/12/2023 08:18

Ejismyf · 21/12/2023 22:35

Mine have all admitted to me they knew before they told me. My 10 year old admitted he knew when he was 7. I'm glad he only just told me as it doesn't feel as magical this year with no believers, no visit to santa, no reindeer dust or plate left for santa, the presents are all already under the tree, no elfs. So, I'd of been gutted to have known when he was 7 he didn't believe.

I think mine thought I believed and didn’t want to spoil it for me!

They are young adults now and we play out all of the traditions as if we all believe. Great fun, stockings and all. Simple here, ‘if you don’t believe, you don’t get’ 😂

When mine began to doubt at around age 11, as a single parent, the fact that Santa suddenly left me a present ( and rather nice expensive one at that….😍🤣😊) a couple of years running, kept the belief going longer.

I questioned them, in their doubt - with ‘so did you buy me the GHD’s then?’ - they said they didn’t.

‘So who did?…..’ 😂( they honestly couldn’t fathom that)

cunningartificer · 22/12/2023 08:21

I really don't get the whole "I had to tell my child as they're in secondary". Children, like adults, are well able to keep operating with different levels of belief. We never told ours and they're in their teens and twenties, still hugely enjoying ideas around Santa perhaps because we've never pushed the whole "he's watching you" idea, but just have the magical appearance of stockings with little treats (no big presents from Santa ever). Best of all, I now get a stocking somehow--must be magic!

MsJuniper · 22/12/2023 08:21

SingaporeSlinky · 22/12/2023 08:05

We’ve always kept it quite simple as I’ve heard lots of stories from friends and relatives about their children finding out accidentally and being devastated, and it’s usually because the parents have gone overboard. So telling their kids that the alarm sensor in the corner of the room is a ‘Santa Cam’ spying on them - the kids eventually were old enough to say that can’t be true as they know it’s for the burglar alarm. Or using apps that photoshop Santa into their sitting room, but their kids then find the app on the parents phone. Taking kids to multiple meet and greet events and it being a terrible version, causing lots of questions. Or Elf on the Shelf and getting caught in the act / forgetting one day / introducing too much detail etc.

We’ve always said the Santas in grottos are just pretending for fun, because the real Santa couldn’t possibly spend all that time sitting in shopping centres, and we don’t visit them. Any questions about him, I always say “I don’t know” rather than trying to make up more lies or elaborating. We have never done Elf on the Shelf. Santa fills a stocking only (and the tissue paper wrap is completely different to any paper we use), but all other presents are from us and relatives. Any questions about how he gets in the house without a chimney etc just get met with “I’ve got no idea”.

A friend had to break it to her 11 year old this year as she’s at secondary now and she was apparently in tears.

I think it’s lovely if a child can keep that innocence as long as possible.

I agree keeping it simple is the best. No secret cameras or elfs on shelfs here. No complex explanations. Santa brings stocking gifts - a mix of low-medium value toys and novelties, always including something that they know I would never buy them in a million years...