15 years ago my sister cut me out of her life when I had a baby. I received a Christmas card and present that first year, but no present or acknowledgment that she had a nephew. I invited her to meet him, sent photos and continued to send her birthday cards/presents for the next few years. There was no indication that she had ever wanted children herself. She'd always said that she didn't want any. She cut out other family members and friends and moved to Italy. There was very little contact with my parents for the next 4 years. When she returned to the UK my parents visited her new house and managed to keep in contact. They were the only members of our family or friends that she would have limited contact with. It was always initiated by them. Last year we discovered that she is very unwell. She had been struggling with alcohol addiction and has end stage liver failure. Since then, as a coping mechanism, she has cut off all contact with my parents. She lives in total isolation, in the middle of nowhere, has mobility and mental health issues and is a hermit, never leaving her farmhouse. We don't know if we will ever see her again, especially given her poor health. My father also is terminally ill.
Over the years I have experienced a whole myriad of emotions. Sadness, exasperation, confusion, anger, hurt, and now more sadness and worry. The thought of her spending Christmas alone with no visitors, presents, cards, phone calls from family etc and knowing that she is so vulnerable is really hard. I miss her and want to be able to help her so much, but we are worried that contact would tip her over the edge due to past behaviour/issues. Not a day goes by when we do not think of her. I would be fine with NC if I knew that she was happy, healthy and safe. That's all that we've ever wanted for her.
We often hear about people who chose to go non contact with family members on MN, but rarely do we hear from those on the receiving end and how they cope. Can anyone relate to this? We're you able to find ways to come to terms with it? or did you end up reconciling in the future? I feel so very helpless and saddened by the situation.