Kids - Christmas and Birthday Cash

[northernlasses]

We aren't wealthy but equally aren't hard up for money.

I've a 16 and 18 year old in full time education. The 18 year old has a Saturday job. I've also got a 23 and 27 year old. The 23 year old works hard but doesn't earn a lot. The 27 year old works and is married with a wife and a baby.

They all prefer cash instead of presents for birthdays and Christmas, as they can put it together with other money and buy something bigger if they decide to. Obviously I'd still buy some small gifts.

My questions are:

1. do you give the younger kids less than the older ones now that the older ones are working?

2. do you give more on birthdays than Christmas?

3. what seems an appropriate amount of cash?

Each of my DC and Foster son gets the same amount whether on gifts or having cash. Why would younger ones get less? You are talking about teens not tots. I give each DC £200 budget. They choose gifts to that value. If they choose less I make up difference in cash. Each DC also gets a stocking of about £60.

I give £100 for their birthdays.

Oops. I worded it wrong. I meant do the OLDER ones get less as they are working?

They all get the same

I kept it the same. Younger ones would end up getting new clothes separately as that was still my responsibility and haircuts and night out etc. But when it came to actual presents on the day they got the same. Usually a surprise present and then hard cash or a voucher they had asked for from a favourite store. And it was about 200.
Same for birthdays. Same cash but for those still in school/ college we paid for a treat out with friends so like their parties when they were younger.

I would give the sixteen year old a birthday and Christmas gift as though still a child... changing nothing from before.

The 18 year old would have received a significant gift for coming of age (or perhaps at 21 in your culture). At 19, 20, 22 and above I'd be giving a single Christmas present and birthday present or cash at the equivalent rate, in the same way I wouldn't think about my siblings' earnings when factoring in whether to buy that scarf or perfume or voucher for a specific activity etc. I would consider them my adult children and buy something I thought they'd genuinely like, want and need or enjoy (whatever your own style of gift giving).

It doesn't have to be of equal monetary value but I wouldn't get the 27 year old tickets to a theatre show and dinner and offer to babysit then just a box of chocolates for the 23 year old.

There's no appropriate amount. It's totally subjective to your circumstances.

Yes I'd give less to children in work and earning. If it's a low paying job I'll probably have helped them out during the year here and there anyway. But teens are totally reliant on you for things - a minimum wage Saturday job is hardly going to be much.

All the same amount of money
Same amount for Both
And what you can afford.