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Original poster

Some young child is going to be disappointed this Christmas

54 replies

Nudgethatjudge · 20/12/2023 17:00

Name changed for this as could be identifying.
(long term quiet resident TDWR, PomBears etc.)

DS3's school has been collecting toys/books etc. for a local charity initiative who ensure children who are not in permanent housing will get a gift for Christmas. Some new, some great condition used goods.
Note: there's some affluent people donating to this cause.

Today his year group participated in the wrapping of gifts, putting on a tag with age and gender (that's another argument).

DS3 is autistic. He's come home and said "I don't know if to laugh or cry"

One of items he was given to wrap was a book on "How to play your Cello".

DS3 informed the member of staff "if they don't have their own home are they likely to have a cello?"

Staff member took the book off him, gave it to some one else to wrap.

A child will be given that on Xmas Day.
DS3 is so sad.

I don't know what to say to him. I can't make that better.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 20/12/2023 18:03

Surely the donations are vetted?
That’s a really crushingly inappropriate book for a child in need of donated presents.

Whatever next? “ Caring for your Pony?”
The Highway Code?
Advanced Algebra?

Being poor absolutely sucks.

I hope the children can one day rise above it.
They are victims of circumstances out of their control.

oakleaffy · 20/12/2023 18:10

velvetoptions · 20/12/2023 17:13

it’s crap of the charity that this book has got through to be wrapped

This!
It really is a failing on their behalf.
Items should be assessed for suitability and cleanliness ( no names written in fly leaves /endpapers &c)

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 20/12/2023 18:10

We unwrap them, check them and books like that we would either not gift(most likely) or add to another better present.

Eh? Why would you still give the inappropriate book alongside the decent present? Some kid from a poor family gets a Barbie, a bag of chocolate buttons AND a book on how to play her cello?!

I'm sure it's a great book for somebody wanting to learn the cello, but it's extremely niche - not to mention likely of more use to somebody from a more privileged family.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Christmas
uclpp · 20/12/2023 18:14

as a child, I would have read a book like that and enjoyed it, despite never having owned or played a cello. It probably teaches a bit of music reading as well. It isn’t ideal, but I wouldn’t despair.

on the other hand, if a child has nothing at all, a toy would be better than a any book. The child will be at school and therefore have access to books. And might not enjoy reading anyway. Lots of kids don’t.

also, some people who get donated gifts are actually not in need of them - I remember seeing a thread on here where a mner was given a shoe box type gift for her kid containing items that were cheaper than similar ones she already had in her home.

id tell your ds this and then forget about it. Nothing you can actually do to prevent the recipient getting it.

LouLou789 · 20/12/2023 18:38

I used to work for a small charity and we collected donated gifts for local kids who didn’t have much. We received annual donations from a nearby school amongst others. I always insisted on opening all presents before passing them on, even if gift wrapped. Plenty were broken and very tatty, but worst of all was a completely empty box. Imagine a child receiving that.

Hubblebubble · 20/12/2023 18:43

Some state schools offer free access to musical instruments and lessons. But yes, completely odd choice of Christmas present. Unless accompanied by a cello.

uclpp · 20/12/2023 18:49

LouLou789 · 20/12/2023 18:38

I used to work for a small charity and we collected donated gifts for local kids who didn’t have much. We received annual donations from a nearby school amongst others. I always insisted on opening all presents before passing them on, even if gift wrapped. Plenty were broken and very tatty, but worst of all was a completely empty box. Imagine a child receiving that.

I mean there’s possibly an explanation for this - do you think the school was applying pressure for all kids to donate, but the donor of the empty box had no money and wrapped the box to stop the school demanding the donation?

or perhaps one parent thought the other had put stuff in the box already, didn’t look, and wrapped it?

LouLou789 · 20/12/2023 18:53

uclpp · 20/12/2023 18:49

I mean there’s possibly an explanation for this - do you think the school was applying pressure for all kids to donate, but the donor of the empty box had no money and wrapped the box to stop the school demanding the donation?

or perhaps one parent thought the other had put stuff in the box already, didn’t look, and wrapped it?

Show quote history

Yes, I agree, I think the parent felt pressurised into their child appearing to “bring in a present” and maybe they had very little themselves. Glad I opened it though.

MargaretThursday · 20/12/2023 20:07

I can't find a book with that title on any of Amazon, abebooks, ebay or google search with the title and "book". There are plenty of learning to play cello books but not that one.

So I'm wondering if he misread it and it was something which will be fine. Hence the teacher giving it to someone else to wrap.

Cubbysnowdog · 21/12/2023 20:18

It’s like the scene in Clueless where Cher donates her skis to the people who lost their home in some natural disaster.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 22/12/2023 11:48

MargaretThursday · 20/12/2023 20:07

I can't find a book with that title on any of Amazon, abebooks, ebay or google search with the title and "book". There are plenty of learning to play cello books but not that one.

So I'm wondering if he misread it and it was something which will be fine. Hence the teacher giving it to someone else to wrap.

OP said 'a book ON', so it wasn't necessarily stated as the exact title.

Her DS sounds like a bright kid, so I'm guessing he probably did get the gist of it - and there was probably a picture on the cover of a cello, musical notes or similar!

User1343 · 22/12/2023 11:51

Well done to your son, OP

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 22/12/2023 11:52

Cubbysnowdog · 21/12/2023 20:18

It’s like the scene in Clueless where Cher donates her skis to the people who lost their home in some natural disaster.

I remember a sketch on Alexei Sayle's Stuff - many years ago now - where they had a spoof emergency charity appeal.

Something like "This poor old lady has no home to go to and spends her days hungry, tired and desperately trudging the streets, carrying all of her possessions in this small plastic bag. But with YOUR donation of just £300, we can provide her with a pair of Nino Cerruti skiing goggles!"

DaisyDreaming · 22/12/2023 11:56

Is the school organising the distribution or a charity? If it’s a charity then the charity will no doubt unwrap the gifts and check them as they will know places donate unsuitable items. I wouldn’t worry too much as it will likely be screened out and replaced with a better item by the charity.

DaisyDreaming · 22/12/2023 11:56

I have no words for the teacher though!

Needmorelego · 22/12/2023 12:00

I think so many people just really don't think about what exactly they are donating for.
You see it a lot on here when people ask for recommendations for gifts given children as part of a charity scheme - children who will be living in hostels etc and people suggest things that will need loads of batteries, access to internet (ie Amazon vouchers), access to shops/cafes (again vouchers) etc.
It's sad in a way. People often just need to stop and actually think once in a while. But so many don't.

Boomboom22 · 22/12/2023 12:11

In one way it seems good charities check. On the other hand what a waste of wrapping paper! Just say donate unwrapped as we will rip it off anyway, unless they carefully resellotape.
The kids spent a fair amount of time wrapping which seems to have been pointless. Could have been doing something fun or useful for learning instead if this was actually pointless.

Needmorelego · 22/12/2023 12:18

@Boomboom22 it does seem odd. The wrapping should be done AFTER the gifts have been checked for suitability.

AutumnCrow · 22/12/2023 12:24

But charity schemes for children's Christmas presents always ask for unwrapped gifts. Always.

LoopyGremlin · 22/12/2023 12:24

A friend of mine was telling me what a national charity offered as a Christmas gift for some of her teenage clients who are very vulnerable...Hand sanitiser and packs of cloth handkerchiefs. What teenager would want that on Christmas Day?

spidermonkeys · 22/12/2023 12:26

I thought you meant DS3 was age 3. I was incredibly impressed 😂

Needmorelego · 22/12/2023 12:32

@AutumnCrow I assume they get wrapped eventually - so the school volunteers can still do that. They just need to be checked before.
I hope the rest of the donations were more suitable.

Yerroblemom1923 · 22/12/2023 12:32

You've raised a good egg there, OP, and I'm sure you're v proud of your son.
I'm really hoping the teacher actually removed said present rather than gave it to someone less willing to challenge the thought process of the "gift"....

CroccyWoccy · 22/12/2023 12:39

What a thoughtful and empathetic boy you have there OP!

Aozora13 · 22/12/2023 12:42

What a thoughtful child. If he has a growing social conscience you could have a conversation about the different ways to help people and the benefits of giving money so they can choose what they want vs giving things you think they might need vs giving your time to help someone or a cause. And why people prefer to donate in different ways. Obviously that won’t help the cello book recipient but can help to formulate thoughts further and process feelings?

Personally I’m not a big fan of giving “stuff” for precisely this reason but happy to donate cash instead.