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Original poster

I’ve made a massive mistake and potentially ruined a child’s Christmas…

26 replies

Jessforless · 18/12/2023 19:23

A friend of mine alerted me to a local charity where you select a child’s wish list and purchase gifts and drop them off to a designated person by early December.

My DC chose a little girl and we bought her her wish list stuff that day and waited for it to arrive.

so many packages come and go (I wfh and get a lot of deliveries for work) and so I have no idea what happened but some crossed wires meant both DH and I thought the other had dropped this off. (You can’t wrap them, you just take it in a box or general bag I guess for safety.)

Today I was packing up work stuff ahead of a courier coming in the new year and I found the box of toys. All completely packed up, neither of us even opened it.

I tried to call and no response, I’ve emailed a couple of times and done the contact form on the website.

I can’t even see on the website where the general drop off place would be.

I feel so absolutely guilty about this and can’t believe I have done this. There’s no excuse at all to have not made this a priority… but now I have no idea how to fix it.

WWYD?

OP posts:
parietal · 18/12/2023 19:26

If you can afford it, make a cash donation to the charity and keep the presents to gift next year.

Needmorelego · 18/12/2023 19:28

The charity probably have a supply of back up presents for situations like this or if people donate inappropriate gifts.
Don't worry too much. Save the gifts for another time and donate them then.

VisionsOfSplendour · 18/12/2023 19:28

How organised it is? You'd think they would have contacted you when they realised they didn't have your gifts. Are you sure it's legit?

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 18/12/2023 19:29

Do you have a local facebook page, can you post on there to ask anyone associated with the charity to contact you?

Whataretheodds · 18/12/2023 19:32

Try the charity on social media?

Eekmystro · 18/12/2023 19:33

I doubt a child is going to be left expecting but not receiving a gift. They will have a back up plan as I assume every year this must happen.

I agree maybe a cash donation for them to have spare for future christmases would be a nice gesture.

Original poster
Jessforless · 18/12/2023 19:35

I hadn’t heard of them before but their website looked legit and my friend who recommended is pretty switched on. I sent him a message to ask if there were any contact names or numbers and where they had dropped the gift off but they’re in another town so would be different. I should have dropped off the 5th!

I can and will absolutely donate some cash. DH is saying they will have allocated the child to someone else and we should just donate the toys to a charity shop or similar toy drive but it feels awful to think we completely screwed this up.

OP posts:
ditalini · 18/12/2023 19:36

Local Facebook group? Does it really not have a physical address? (That sounds very dodgy).

I think with just under a week to go I'd pull out all the stops to try and get in touch before making a cash donation.

dalmatianmad · 18/12/2023 19:38

This is a long shot. Is the charity called Derek's Tree?

FlyingFlamingo · 18/12/2023 19:40

Please don’t worry. Part of my job is to nominate families for the scheme in my area and then distribute the gifts when the charity deliver them. If anything is missing we make up a bag from what we’ve got and we’ve always got loads so no one misses out.

Bellyblueboy · 18/12/2023 19:43

Unfortunately you will not be the only person who lets them down. They will have back up plans.

donate some money and probably best just to donate cash going forward.

Original poster
Jessforless · 18/12/2023 19:43

@dalmatianmad no it isn’t. I pm’d you the name.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jessforless · 18/12/2023 19:46

I am usually so organised. If you knew me in life you would never think I would have dropped the ball with this.

I thought it was such a lovely and mutually beneficial way to teach my children about giving to others and how important it is. Couldn’t have screwed that up more 🫣

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 18/12/2023 19:48

There's no way that this is actually a specific list for a specific child!

It will surely be part of the way to attract people to do it. Yes, you've ordered 'Sarah's wish list' but those presents would be distributed generally to a wider group of children.

Or else how would it work? 'Sarah' gets gifts worth £100s, 'Tom' gets £45 worth & 'Polly' gets nothing.

We have something similar with a Giving Tree, you select a name, age provided & buy a gift. Of course they ate ultimately centrally collected & distributed across their clients.

You can donate these gifts now, or hold them to next year, and make a financial donation instead now. It'll be fine.

Original poster
Jessforless · 18/12/2023 19:50

I hope you’re right, but it does say it’s specifically for that child, there’s a max limit value on the toys / whatever that you buy.

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 18/12/2023 19:55

Whatever the specifics, there's no way a charity would rely on one individual, no matter how well-meaning, to provide an entire set of gifts for one child.

There are all sorts of reasons why someone might sign up & then be unable to follow through.

AlisonWonderbra · 18/12/2023 19:55

I also wondered if it was Derek's Tree. We collect for them at work.

suki1964 · 18/12/2023 19:57

There are so many charities that will accept the gifts and they will go to a child here in the UK - Salvation Army are a well recognised charity, give them a ring, there will be someone to collect them not a bother

If you want to ensure it goes locally then the local food bank will help, also any women shelters

Our local charity done very well with us locally when the local pub became the drop of point. People who can are usually very generous so the wee girl wont be left out

EarringsandLipstick · 18/12/2023 19:57

AlisonWonderbra · 18/12/2023 19:55

I also wondered if it was Derek's Tree. We collect for them at work.

Yes, this is the same premise as the Giving Tree near us. It's not for a specific child - the gifts are given unwrapped, charities will sort & present to the children as relevant.

It's just a way to personalise the charity / donation experience.

Original poster
Jessforless · 18/12/2023 20:00

Okay, phew. I had proper twisting stomach guilt. Thank you all.

I don’t mind if it’s not local, I will find somewhere to donate them. And I will make a cash donation to the charity… really appreciate the replies.

OP posts:
TattiePants · 18/12/2023 20:07

OP please don't worry. I'm currently volunteering for a local charity who does exactly this and have spent today packing Christmas bags for children. The gift tags that we create are based on an actual child's wishes but when the gifts come in from the community, we unpack them and put them in an age or interest (eg Barbie) box ready to be 'picked' at a future date. As @EarringsandLipstick said, we try as best as we can to make every child equal so this is the fairest way to do it. Each child gets 5-6 gifts so we would never rely on one donor. We also get lots of donations from Dunelm, Mission Christmas, Tesco, Morrisons etc plus cash donations to buy additional gifts required. If you can give a cash donation I'm sure they would be very grateful.

Sugarfree23 · 18/12/2023 20:16

Op I'm last minute Sally.
Most Christmas charities will be at the wrapping & distribution stages rather than taking more donations.

However I have a duplicate of the same gift. I was considering dropping one into the food bank. Even if it's not used for Christmas it might make some kids birthday a bit happier at some point.

easylikeasundaymorn · 18/12/2023 20:22

to be fair if it's a charity perhaps they just don't have anyone monitoring the emails full time! someone might log on this evening or tomorrow and be a bit???? at your multiple emails and contact form over the space of a few hours! hopefully they'll get back to you but if not as pp's say just donate to the charity and give the presents somewhere else/keep them for next year. It's very unlikely they'll just tell the poor kid 'ah well tough luck, your donor forgot, nothing for you this year!'

TattiePants · 18/12/2023 20:22

@Sugarfree23 google 'Baby banks' for your area. The baby bank that I volunteer for is in full Christmas mode at the moment but we have approx 60 referrals every week throughout the year for toys, clothes, toiletries, beds etc.

Sugarfree23 · 19/12/2023 12:30

@TattiePants
Two reasons for thinking about the food bank, I assume baby banks really deal with pre-school stuff rather than older children and the food bank has a trolley in the supermarket so easy to drop it in the next time I'm in.

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