Can’t bear to be in same room as “D”H but Christmas

[RustySoupSpoon]

Nothing big has happened really. Just the slow realisation that he’s a gaslighting selfish man and I don’t have the energy to argue. I’ve been staying out of his way the last few days. But Christmas is coming and we have 2DC. They are so excited about going to their grandparents (his parents). We are supposed to leave on Friday. The thought of playing happy families makes me want to cry. The thought of disappointing my DC by not going to their beloved grandparents feels impossible. Do I stay here and not have Christmas with my children (10 and 12)? Or do I go even though I can’t stand him? Or something else? All choices feel bad

unless major abuse I would go and focus on your kids and just get through it - try to delay trip to later than friday - any excuses u could think? illness or work or whatever

then when you are back leave him

I'd go for your kids sake - can he take them on Friday and you follow on Sunday so you don't have as much time with him?

And when he's being awful, remind yourself that you'll tell him after Christmas that it's over.

Leave him after Christmas

Good idea. Let them go ahead of you and join them Monday.
After Christmas, start making plans.

just go for the kids sake ignore him as much as you can just put a mental bock in place, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

I would get an unspecified end-of year illness (tummy cramps?headache?) to cover any "off" impression on your part (and a few lie-downs thrown in), and otherwise go through the motions as you have been doing for a while.

yeah this, lots of lie downs in between being sociable.