Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

Tricky wedding etiquette

12 replies

Bluecat7 · 17/12/2023 22:42

What’s the etiquette when a work colleague has invited most of her colleagues to a large wedding, barring a few? Being one of the few is awkward as this wedding is not for another nine months and is already the hot topic in the office. Do I join in the conversations?

OP posts:

theconfidenceofwho · 17/12/2023 22:45

I'd say join in - Bright and breezy. Unless the lack of invitation is a form of bullying, in which case ignore & speak to HR.

Shouldershoulder · 17/12/2023 22:45

Yes , I'd join in. Are you particularly close to this colleague? Do you feel you should have been invited?

Original poster

Bluecat7 · 17/12/2023 22:47

No, we are not close and I wouldn’t have expected an invitation, so, I was thinking, maybe just give her a card when the time comes.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General relationships Weddings

theconfidenceofwho · 17/12/2023 23:06

In that case definitely bright & breezy - there's no malice intended so join in the discussions & be happy for your colleague.

Original poster

Bluecat7 · 17/12/2023 23:11

I will. I think the awkwardness comes from the invited colleagues having no clue that a few of us haven’t been. But I suppose that doesn’t really matter. Happy to join in the talk.

OP posts:

theconfidenceofwho · 17/12/2023 23:19

Just tell them - if you're ok about it, then there will be no awkwardness as they'll take their cue from you.

Hmmmbetterchangethis · 17/12/2023 23:22

I can’t imagine that everyone will talk about it for the next 9 months!!
Once the initial excitement of receiving the invitation dies down, it will drop off.

pizzaHeart · 17/12/2023 23:26

I would join on a general level about weddings, traditions, your own experience. I think it’s worth mentioning that if you are not invited somewhere at the very beginning but do it positively otherwise they will spend the next 9 months whispering in corners thinking that you are upset and it will be very uncomfortable.

Original poster

Bluecat7 · 17/12/2023 23:49

I’m not upset (although I know that several of the other not invited colleagues are) and will mention that I’m not invited very casually at some point soon.

OP posts:

Bellyblueboy · 17/12/2023 23:59

Your workplace must be very dull if this wedding is the hot topic😂.

just Say ‘sounds amazing’ and smile.

hopefully someone will come up with something actually interesting to discuss in the canteen.

Tinkerbyebye · 18/12/2023 00:19

I would tell them I am not invited and wouldn’t go out if my way to join in. If I happened to be there ok but if passing no

furtivetussling · 18/12/2023 00:26

I would rather stick smarties in my eyes than talk about a work colleague's wedding for the next nine months.

Flip