Toilet / serviette / couch

[Notallmilsarebad]

This is inspired by the ‘do you want bog’ thread. I saw a few people mention the words toilet, serviette and couch are all words that the middle classes would never say.

I have never heard of this before and I actually thought that saying serviette was the posh way of saying napkin. Is it the other way around? What other words like this are there that I need to learn about?

Sitting room

Lounge is only a public space (like a hotel or an airport)

Living room is American I think but fine for open plan

Drawing room is v grand, I do know people who say it, but they have more than one sitting room (drawing room being the smartest one)

Interesting - we have departure lounges in airports (aka hell on earth) but lounge definitely isn't limited to public spaces here. Some people use living room but I don't know of any particular divide.

My Nan always called the living room the sitting room so I always thought sitting room was an older generation thing! My Nan is 100% working class.

What is U / non-U? Does the U stand for upper class or under class? This is how clueless I am at these words! I think it’s because I sit in between working and middle class so I use a variety of those terms in the screenshot a PP posted.

How about Nanny/Granny/Nana/Grandma? I bet that differs by class!

Also, are PPs saying that ‘pardon’ is a working class thing? Again, I thought this was a middle class way of saying ‘what’ 😂

I think another PP nailed it - the working classes and upper classes perhaps use the same words because they’re not trying to impress anyone or overthinking their vocab, and it’s the middle classes who try to distinguish themselves from the working classes.

@Catsmere not so sure now actually. Think income and class are making that distinction blurred tbh. Plenty of “new money” or working classes with higher incomes you would normally associate with middle class - no bad thing 👍

I'm irish & say bathroom/ sitting room / napkin

I say ladies toilet if enquiring when out somewhere

I have never said lavatory in my life. And I hate the words couch / lounge / settee

No, it's napkin (cloth) or paper napkin

@Notallmilsarebad You don't have to learn any of them-it's all completely bonkers. It's all about people creating a club then inventing insane rules so they can keep people out. I was brought up on the rules- but I am trying very hard as I get older not to mind/notice if other people don't stick to them!

Agree. Or airport.

As a rule of thumb, words that sound as if they might have "foreign" origins, like pardon, serviette, toilet, lounge and patio are less posh than those that don't-what, napkin, lavatory, sitting room and terrace. But as I said, it's all because bonkers.

never ever have said toilet. Can’t say it. Hated typing it. Loo works in any situation.
agree no serviette, lounge, pardon me. Just no.
would also put settee in that camp. And “front room”. Like you only have 2.

Same Delphi! It goes deep! I also can’t bear “pardon” and winced when others tried to tell the dc to say it.

When we moved to our ‘big’ house, we adopted the names the previous owners gave to the reception rooms- drawing room, library and snug.

However, the drawing room was swiftly repurposed over lockdown and became the Warhammer room and the library is now called the X-Box room.

We are tres bas-peuple.

I'm definitely at the lower end of working class and I say toilet, napkin, pudding and living room.

Do your children just say "what?"

I’ve got a sitting room with a sofa and a dining room with a dining table. I go to the lavatory.
Can’t stand ‘passed on’ or the even worse, but increasingly more common ‘passed’ instead of die.

Yes, but ‘dessert’ was traditionally a different course to ‘pudding’, anyway.

‘Dessert’ (from the French ‘desservir’, to clear the table) came after the pudding course, and was a separate final course of plates of fruit, fresh and candied, nuts, and maybe some chocolates, served with port or dessert wine.

It’s died off now outside of very formal situations, but they still do it at my old Oxford college for formal High Tables. You leave the table and go into another room for it.

They say “sorry?” or “what was that?” politely. Just can’t bear “pardon” makes me cringe.

I said this on the other thread but I’ve never understood why people ask for the bathroom when they don’t want to use the bath? You’re likely to be directed to a room containing a bath and no loo. Public facilities definitely wouldn’t be expected to contain a bath so why ask for it?

I can’t stand the mealy-mouthed “passed away” or “passed on”.

I hate lounge and couch because the words sound ugly to me. Also, a sofa sounds like a welcoming, comfortable piece of furniture, whereas a settee doesn’t sound like something you could relax on (to my ears).

I have a small room in my house which is called the “book room”. Calling it the library sounds a bit pretentious, when it’s quite small, although bookshelves cover 2 of the walls.

Living room (and front room - the place for guests), serviette, settee, dinner/tea (as opposed to lunch/dinner), toilet (or loo)

My dad would say specs and pushbike. Definitely working class (London, which might make a difference).

I think that area probably makes as much of a difference as class personally

I agree hardcore but sadly need to use those words often to relatives professionally and honestly “died” is just too brutal a word to use in those circumstances.

I am very middle class and I do on occasion say toilet and dh gives me the eyes. 😂 It's very similar to the first time I went to meet his older relatives and they offered me a cup of tea and asked how I took it and I said with milk and 1 sugar. Dh nearly fell off his chair trying to gesture to me with his eyes. 😂 It took time but he did massage the sugar in tea thing out of me.

I would not say serviette or couch though.

Growing up in Australia people said “loo” mostly, or “toilet”. No one said “bathroom”, if they meant the loo. (They might say “the conveniences” if they didn’t want to draw your attention to the fact that they might use it to shit in. 🙄)

I notice now when I go back that lots
of people say the bathroom when they mean the loo.

I haven’t noticed this in the UK, as much, though.

It is realistic.
Everyone dies and we shouldn't be afraid to use the right word.