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Friend’s toddler keeps attacking mine!

8 replies

Unfriendlywoes · 17/12/2023 21:49

not sure what to do about this, I’m at a point where I feel like letting the friendship go.

met friend at NCT 6 years ago, bonded over both having girls and were excited for them to grow up together. As it stands, our girls were best friends until 2 years ago, my dd is autistic and struggles a lot socially. Her dd is very social and without judging a 6 year old too harshly but she can be quite horrible to my dd bordering on bullying and has also been violent with her in the past. Friend never disciplined her daughter and always brushed it off as her being a wild child and high energy, and my dd was just ‘too sensitive’. In the end I’ve seen my friend separately now and don’t bring my older daughter along. Now we both have second dc, and with a few months between them and they are both toddlers. Her toddler attacks mine at any given chance, most recently shoved them over causing mine to smack his head on the floor. This happens multiple times during our meetings, literally if I take my eyes of them for a second my dc is screaming. Again, she doesn’t discipline him at all. I’m beginning to resent her and admittedly both of her children and feel like cutting the friendship off. What would you do? I feel like she thinks it’s all down to my dc being sensitive!

OP posts:
wizzywig · 17/12/2023 21:51

See her without her kids. Or ditch the friendship. Her daughter sounds awful. Hoepfully she will meet her match

WmFnKdSg1234 · 17/12/2023 21:51

I would avoid spending time with her for a couple of months hopefully the situation would improve.

Unfriendlywoes · 17/12/2023 22:12

I think it’s probably best to have some space, at least for a few months and see how things are after that. Otherwise I think I may end up blowing my top 😅

OP posts:
Ossobuco · 17/12/2023 22:19

Do you think if another kid regularly whacked hers that she’d be so happy to let that continue?

Unfriendlywoes · 17/12/2023 22:44

@Ossobuco you’re so right! There’s no way she would let it fly. And I don’t just stand there by the way, the last time I ended up grabbing my ds and walking out I was so angry.

OP posts:
Sonolanona · 17/12/2023 23:52

I agree with a previous poster... have a few months space and then see how it goes. Also if you want to meet, do it outside at a park or somewhere there is lots of physical space and things to do.
Some toddlers go through aggressive stages but it doesn't mean they will always be, however if it's not corrected it's more likely to continue.

I look after my dgs several days a week and at just 2 I had to watch him like a hawk as he went through a stage of grabbing and pushing..and on one awful occasion he bit my friend's toddler. ( I was mortified as I was right there but not quick enough. But now at 2.7, he hasn't pushed or snatched for quite a few months... he's developmentally able to understand turn taking etc and he doesn't bite. But it did take a fair bit of making it clear ( both the 'no we don't push' and physically removing him for some time away) before it sank in.

Now his little buddy has hit that stage and it's the other way round! However my friend and I are good enough friends to be able to work through it . Can you not talk to your friend honestly and say that you love seeing her but you need to find a way that your child isn't hurt?
If she's a good friend she may smart a bit but take it on board. If she gets horribly offended then all you can do is withdraw from meeting up.

KievLoverTwo · 17/12/2023 23:55

She's gaslighting you. Time to let her go.

knockyknees · 19/12/2023 10:39

She's a shit parent.

Put your kids first and get rid of this stupid woman from your life.

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